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Old 07-28-2010, 09:49 PM
 
826 posts, read 1,636,594 times
Reputation: 1299

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I am completely miserable in Indy, very much so. I have tried to fit into this culture, joined multiple groups-even groups were people are twice my age- taken classes, and put myself out there, still I am not happy. I have not been able to make as many friends as I want and even though the people I've been meeting, have been polite, they really don't let you in.

I have also realized that I'm odds with the amount of social activities here. Here it seems like most people just want to go out to bars and drink. That seems to be the most popular past-time here. Don't get me wrong, drinking isn't bad, just that I want more stuff. Indy's good points are that it has a very affordable COL, it is a great place to raise a family and your dollar can go very far, however, after living here for a few years, I am questioning the value of having a few dollars saved up with no dating life.

The trade off doesn't seem worth it to me at this stage, I would rather have an active dating and social life than money.

It is indeed true that money isn't everything. I feel like I am just existing, not living... have no one to share life with

I realized recently that I am better suited for a big city. I like the opportunity to meet throngs of people, diverse people. I want a place that is accepting of diversity. I also want a greater variety of activities to do and very importantly, a place where there are lots of professional men :-) that's just my preference. I also have an artsy side and would love to indulge in that very much as well.

Here is the thing, I have narrowed it down to New York, Chicago, Atlanta, North Carolina and Texas.

The thing that scares me with the first 2 is the cold and COL but since I am willing to pay premium to be in a better environment, the cold is the major issue. I have also heard people are a bit rough/rude in New York which scares me. I don't really do well with rudeness.

The last 3 have relatively affordable COLs, not terribly bad winters, however I am concerned because they are southern states. A good friend of mine had a bad experience in SC fairly recently and I am hoping it is not a common theme with other southern states.

About me, I am in my 20s, female and work in financial services. It is also important to me to find work in a place that has a lot of job opportunities.

I hope I don't offend anyone but this is just how I feel.
Your advise is much appreciated
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Old 07-28-2010, 09:58 PM
 
Location: Soon to be Southlake, TX
648 posts, read 1,416,416 times
Reputation: 379
NY would be best for your career field but be prepared for the cost of living. Manhattan is ridiculously expensive unless you want to live in Harlem which is a lot better now than a decade ago anyway. I grew up in Brooklyn and that was about 15-20 years ago and it was a lot more dangerous and the city was a lot "harder" 10+ years ago than it is now. The city has cleaned up so much in a 10 year time span you would be amazed. So do not be afraid to live in another borough outside of Manhattan to lower your cost of living. I recommend going to the NYC forums for more specific neighborhoods to stay away from if you choose NYC. The nightlife and single's scene in NYC is second to none. You will get to know a lot of people and since so many people are transplants making friends will be easy. You will have no problem finding professional men in NYC and the artsy scene is one of the top if not the top in the world. You will not need a car though so there goes your expenses on gas, insurance and maintenance on a car.

I should add if you are looking for the urban experience NYC or Chicago would fit your bill. If you prefer more space then Atlanta or Texas would be a better fit.
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Old 07-28-2010, 10:00 PM
 
619 posts, read 1,507,070 times
Reputation: 252
Atlantas cost of living is cheaper than chitown, and ny. Has more opportunities for jobs than ny or chi i would imagine. Dallas and Houston could also work. Charlotte is still a little small and isn't a "Big City" yet
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Old 07-28-2010, 10:01 PM
 
Location: St Paul, MN - NJ's Gold Coast
5,256 posts, read 11,956,143 times
Reputation: 3079
What's your budget?
I'm assuming that you're renting.
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Old 07-29-2010, 09:35 AM
 
21,182 posts, read 30,336,326 times
Reputation: 19590
Quote:
Originally Posted by Peacelilies View Post
I am completely miserable in Indy, very much so. I have tried to fit into this culture, joined multiple groups-even groups were people are twice my age- taken classes, and put myself out there, still I am not happy. I have not been able to make as many friends as I want and even though the people I've been meeting, have been polite, they really don't let you in.

I have also realized that I'm odds with the amount of social activities here. Here it seems like most people just want to go out to bars and drink. That seems to be the most popular past-time here. Don't get me wrong, drinking isn't bad, just that I want more stuff. Indy's good points are that it has a very affordable COL, it is a great place to raise a family and your dollar can go very far, however, after living here for a few years, I am questioning the value of having a few dollars saved up with no dating life.

The trade off doesn't seem worth it to me at this stage, I would rather have an active dating and social life than money.

It is indeed true that money isn't everything. I feel like I am just existing, not living... have no one to share life with

I realized recently that I am better suited for a big city. I like the opportunity to meet throngs of people, diverse people. I want a place that is accepting of diversity. I also want a greater variety of activities to do and very importantly, a place where there are lots of professional men :-) that's just my preference. I also have an artsy side and would love to indulge in that very much as well.

Here is the thing, I have narrowed it down to New York, Chicago, Atlanta, North Carolina and Texas.

The thing that scares me with the first 2 is the cold and COL but since I am willing to pay premium to be in a better environment, the cold is the major issue. I have also heard people are a bit rough/rude in New York which scares me. I don't really do well with rudeness.

The last 3 have relatively affordable COLs, not terribly bad winters, however I am concerned because they are southern states. A good friend of mine had a bad experience in SC fairly recently and I am hoping it is not a common theme with other southern states.

About me, I am in my 20s, female and work in financial services. It is also important to me to find work in a place that has a lot of job opportunities.

I hope I don't offend anyone but this is just how I feel.
Your advise is much appreciated
I would 100% recommend NYC.

It's not rude/rough, that's a unfortunate stigma perpetuated on TV and in movies. The reality is it's one of the friendliest cities I've ever been to. On the other hand, I've had more knives stuck in my back by "polite Southerners" than I could count. Of course the cost of living is a concern anywhere you move but consider your salary will be considerably higher than what you're currently making in Indianapolis. In terms of weather, there won't be much difference between NYC and where you're living now. The dating scene as you might imagine is incredibly varied, with sports groups for singles (volleyball, softball, biking, running), special interest groups for singles (you name it), art gallery events by the hundreds every week, and even just coffee shops that have shall we say..."potential".

There are a ton of neighborhoods to check out, but off the top of my head would recommend looking at:

Hoboken, NJ (right across the Hudson River from Manhattan, with easy PATH train service to the Financial District or Midtown Manhattan, lots of young professionals live there) Hoboken, New Jersey - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Astoria, NY (just east of Manhattan in Queens, about 30 minutes to midtown Manhattan via the subway. Many young professionals are there as well. It has a number of Greek immigrants and as a result some great restaurants and markets, check out the Broadway or 30th Street subway stop neighborhoods)
Astoria, Queens - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Greenpoint, NY (just south and east of Manhattan in Brooklyn near the border with Queens. It's kind of under the radar a bit in terms of "Brooklyn cool/chic" but as a result it's less expensive but still hip/young). A drawback is that subway trains don't do straight into Manhattan, rather into the downtown area of Brooklyn (where you would transfer to another train). Though if you're working in lower Manhattan (Financial District), that's not a long commute.
Greenpoint, Brooklyn - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Check out Craigslist for rentals/roommate shares and search the neighborhood names mentioned. At the top of the NYC Craigslist page you'll see various tabs for various areas. Hoboken will be under Jsy for Jersey, Astoria is under Que for Queens and Greenpoint is under Brk for Brooklyn.

Good luck and if I can help further don't hesitate to message me here.
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Old 07-29-2010, 10:52 AM
 
Location: Denver, CO
36 posts, read 81,276 times
Reputation: 34
Chicago is the city most midwesterners gravitate towards when they outgrow their town. Chicago really is a natural step up from Indianapolis and I would recommend it most.
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Old 07-29-2010, 02:49 PM
 
Location: West LA
2,318 posts, read 7,005,842 times
Reputation: 1097
Why aren't you considering San Francisco?
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Old 07-29-2010, 03:40 PM
 
Location: Austin,Tx
1,691 posts, read 3,090,168 times
Reputation: 698
Maby check out Houston or Dallas
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Old 07-29-2010, 09:10 PM
 
826 posts, read 1,636,594 times
Reputation: 1299
Quote:
Originally Posted by BPerone201 View Post
What's your budget?
I'm assuming that you're renting.
Yes, I will be renting.
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Old 07-29-2010, 09:12 PM
 
826 posts, read 1,636,594 times
Reputation: 1299
Quote:
Originally Posted by LASam View Post
Why aren't you considering San Francisco?
I don't think San Francisco is diverse enough for me. I may be wrong, but I understand that the diversity is predominantly Asian. I want a place that has everyone, Blacks, Whites, Hispanics, Asians, Africans, Europeans. A really huge melting point
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