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Old 06-24-2007, 10:57 AM
 
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One more thing that is a big question...Do you think there is some arbitrary age cutoff at which a person really cannot move to another place? (just too pyschically taxing)

I guess I ask this as I remember a long time meeting this woman who'd moved to this place and she was 49 starting all over. I thought to myself, on please never let me be her.

I think it's easy enough when you're in your twenties to just pick up and go, but it gets much harder with age to form friendships (for the most part, although this is a generalization) as by a certain point everyone is married, has kids, etc etc. If you're single with no children (like I am), it's just not like when I was 22 and everyone around me was single with no kids.

Thoughts?
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Old 06-24-2007, 12:23 PM
 
Location: Denver, CO
5,608 posts, read 20,725,122 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by movin'on View Post
and now metro Phoenix area (cheaper housing).

I'm thinking I'm going to force myself to do everything possible before I bail here. I can give it three more months. However, the one thing that is not going to change in those three months is the fact there is no water nearby nor really things I enjoy doing. I just don't like what this place has to offer and I don't like endless strip malls.
oh ho! Why didn't you say that upfront?! I live in Phoenix too-- and I often feel the same way!!! Except for the strip malls comment-- I think anti-strip mall rhetoric is mumbo jumbo. While I agree with the posters above, you might need to learn to put yourself out there more (I do too), Phoenix probably isn't the right place for you. And if you don't already have a solid support structure of friends built up, it is very hard to get through the summers here. I know for me personally, this place is not where it's at-- that's why I'm moving once I graduate ASU next year! That's why we're all on this forum-- to search for the right place. One thing I'd suggest though-- forget about having everything "perfect." You must always make a trade off between one thing or another. You have to prioritize what's most important. In your case, perhaps you've found out that cheap housing isn't all you'd thought it would be.
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Old 06-24-2007, 12:27 PM
 
Location: Scottsdale, AZ
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Yes, I do believe there is an age when you cannot start over again. I also believe that age would vary for various people, some it might be 40's, some 50's, and some it might even be 60's (if you have the drive). If you're still in your 20's and even low to mid 30's it's pretty easy but after you reach a certain thereshold, it becomes much more difficult.

You seem to love San Fran so why not move back there? Yes it's expensive but a single person can make it work much easier than if you had a family to take care of. If you're young and single you'll make it ANYWHERE.

One thing you definetly need to work on is your social activity. It's impossible to make new friends unless you go out and seek them. Do what I do and strike up a random conversation with someone whether it be in a bar, club, etc. Offer to buy their drink and then just start talking to them about whatever. It's a great way to make new friends and sometimes you also can make some lucrative connections that way. Besides what have you got to lose?
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Old 06-24-2007, 04:34 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SpeedyAZ View Post
Yes, I do believe there is an age when you cannot start over again. I also believe that age would vary for various people, some it might be 40's, some 50's, and some it might even be 60's (if you have the drive). If you're still in your 20's and even low to mid 30's it's pretty easy but after you reach a certain thereshold, it becomes much more difficult.

You seem to love San Fran so why not move back there? Yes it's expensive but a single person can make it work much easier than if you had a family to take care of. If you're young and single you'll make it ANYWHERE.

One thing you definetly need to work on is your social activity. It's impossible to make new friends unless you go out and seek them. Do what I do and strike up a random conversation with someone whether it be in a bar, club, etc. Offer to buy their drink and then just start talking to them about whatever. It's a great way to make new friends and sometimes you also can make some lucrative connections that way. Besides what have you got to lose?
Well, I'm no spring chicken Speedy. Far as SF and, to be honest, I'd have to have a mortgage and get a real job. Isn't that horrible of me to think this way?

I actually did attend my very first meetup today. The people were nice. One thing I learned, is that a couple of these women actually go out by themselves!

They actually go to dinner by themselves and one even goes to a club by herself! I would never do either, or I haven't done either. It's not that I can't talk to new people, but I like being around people I know more.

Have you ever done a meetup? After today, it sort of broke the ice for me. I'm signed up for another one. I guess I'd encourage anyone to check them out, if you're like me who tends to be a homebody. Thanks for the suggestions and I'm happy you love it here! It's always good to be in a place that feels, well, good to be in.
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Old 06-24-2007, 04:55 PM
 
Location: Scottsdale, AZ
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Quote:
Well, I'm no spring chicken Speedy. Far as SF and, to be honest, I'd have to have a mortgage and get a real job. Isn't that horrible of me to think this way?
Not at all, I don't blame you for not wanting a mortgage.

Quote:
Have you ever done a meetup? After today, it sort of broke the ice for me. I'm signed up for another one. I guess I'd encourage anyone to check them out, if you're like me who tends to be a homebody. Thanks for the suggestions and I'm happy you love it here! It's always good to be in a place that feels, well, good to be in.
I've heard about them but I haven't done one. I'm glad you liked it though, I know they're a great way to meet others. I'm not particularly a homebody, I'd much rather be out with others. Good luck.
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Old 06-24-2007, 07:57 PM
 
Location: The Heart of Dixie
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I don't know. I never fit in during high school since I went to a very snobby school in a part of Maryland filled with snobby, arrogant transplant families from up north, but I had a wonderful time in college and I'm applying to dental and pharmacy school right now. Moving back home for now was depressing. I hate my town and everyone in this area. Everyone is either a snobby elitist originally from NY or an illegal alien. I've also lived here most of my life and I've always wanted to experience something different.

I know the rest of America is very different from the Northeast that people live very differently and I hope I can experience the real America someday.
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Old 06-24-2007, 08:23 PM
 
4,247 posts, read 9,372,465 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Terrapin2212 View Post
I don't know. I never fit in during high school since I went to a very snobby school in a part of Maryland filled with snobby, arrogant transplant families from up north, but I had a wonderful time in college and I'm applying to dental and pharmacy school right now. Moving back home for now was depressing. I hate my town and everyone in this area. Everyone is either a snobby elitist originally from NY or an illegal alien. I've also lived here most of my life and I've always wanted to experience something different.

I know the rest of America is very different from the Northeast that people live very differently and I hope I can experience the real America someday.
I appreciate your sentiments. I, too, hate going back to my home town, even though it ranks high in places to live. I just hate it.

I am not sure there is a "real" America, as we are so diverse in different regions. But you are correct in that it's very different in the NE from other areas. It's a big country, and good to experience all of it (even though all of my experience is in the West and Midwest). For some reason, I just never cared to go to the south.
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Old 06-24-2007, 11:28 PM
 
Location: Connecticut
570 posts, read 1,911,179 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Terrapin2212 View Post
I don't know. I never fit in during high school since I went to a very snobby school in a part of Maryland filled with snobby, arrogant transplant families from up north, but I had a wonderful time in college and I'm applying to dental and pharmacy school right now. Moving back home for now was depressing. I hate my town and everyone in this area. Everyone is either a snobby elitist originally from NY or an illegal alien. I've also lived here most of my life and I've always wanted to experience something different.

I know the rest of America is very different from the Northeast that people live very differently and I hope I can experience the real America someday.
I actually happen to love the Northeast (and by Northeast, I mean NY, NJ, PA, CT, RI, MA, NH, VT, ME; anything south of NJ and PA we consider the south).

The people here are not rude, nor elitist. IMO, they are frank. They tell you what they feel. Don't you think that's better than people in the south and midwest, where faults are sugarcoated and greeted with smiles? Or how people out west are obsessed with money and material items (particularly LA). The suburbs of CT and Westchester NY are filled with very, very modest people. People here have a great deal of money, yes, but you'll see them pulling out of their driveway in a 1992 Volvo, or you'll pass a home in an upscale neighborhood and see a Camry or Accord in the driveway. People here would rather put money into the public school system than buy an Escalade, two boats and a Beamer for Sunday drives.

If you think people who are honest and frank are elitist, then maybe you should live up here for a year or two to see what it's all about. I hear many people refer to CT as a very snobby state. But since when was minding your own business an attribute of being snobby? It's called being reserved.
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Old 06-25-2007, 01:05 AM
 
Location: Debary, Florida
2,267 posts, read 2,532,704 times
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I had a similar problem when I lived in Texas. It was my home town, my family lived there, everyone knew everyone, including my entire family. They of course were SO intrusive words fail me.

Texas has some really great points to it but I couldn't be happy there. Of course I had some bad history there and it helped me SO much to put it behind me.

Florida is a fresh start for me. Of course I don't get the winter blues here either. I love seeing things green which they almost always are here.
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Old 06-25-2007, 09:32 AM
 
395 posts, read 910,488 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jeremeyk482 View Post
Don't you think that's better than people in the south and midwest, where faults are sugarcoated and greeted with smiles?
Thank you for saying that. That is exactly one of the reasons why I haven't found a good "fit" with Nashville. Not every city is for everyone and you can't make yourself like living there regardless of your number of friends or how much money you make.
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