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We live in NJ and would like to leave the state because of high cost of living. We really would like to move 12-14 hours away, but family ties make us feel like we should not be so selfish and move only 2-3 hours away.
Do we follow our dream? Would we be making a mistake moving too far from family, knowing that they would only visit very infrequently? Anyone in the same situation and have a story to tell. Its very hard knowing if you will regret making a long distance or short distance move. I really only want to move once. And yes there are planes and I know we can come back for visits, but 6 people's airfare is expensive and 12 hour drives are no fun and also very expensive these days.
following my heart can get me killed in a jiffy. trouble is our minds can be very smart and successful and equally cruel. the greatest story every written on this (short story) was oscar wilde the fisherman and his soul.
Ive thought about this too and the way I see it is you only live once and were all gonna die anyways and nothings permanent so might as well get out and try something new, who knows you might end up absolutely loving your new location. Hopefully I'll be taking my own advice within the next 2 years as I move a good distance away.
Family is in Maine, we are in Michigan... nuff said.
Actually my wife and I asked ourselves this very question and it boiled down to what was best for our family. We knew that the four faces looking at us around the Supper table didn't have the ability to make the choice of where the better schools were or more opportunity was for them at this age, and later in life, so we made the choice. Sure it IS tough being away from Grandma, Grandpa, Aunts, Uncles and Cousins during birthdays, holidays, and special events; but, the best place for them was here and not there. I really think it all comes down to what is best for YOUR family, not, your extended family. What is going to be the best location for those who sit at your table every night and depend on you to make the right choices for them at this stage in their lives??................There's your answer.
Years ago my older sister told me to follow my heart just like she was doing. It nearly destroyed me. I kept making the wrong decisions about what jobs to take or where to move. After about five years of that I went back to listening to my brain and "sixth sense". I've since righted the ship and virtually every important decision I've made during the course of the last three years has been right on.
We live in NJ and would like to leave the state because of high cost of living. We really would like to move 12-14 hours away, but family ties make us feel like we should not be so selfish and move only 2-3 hours away.
Do we follow our dream? Would we be making a mistake moving too far from family, knowing that they would only visit very infrequently? Anyone in the same situation and have a story to tell. Its very hard knowing if you will regret making a long distance or short distance move. I really only want to move once. And yes there are planes and I know we can come back for visits, but 6 people's airfare is expensive and 12 hour drives are no fun and also very expensive these days.
I am sure the pioneer's felt the same way...when they left their family and moved west...but if they did not...we would all be stuck in the original 13 colonies......from experience....my daughter lives 2 - 3 hours or more away from me...depending on traffic...as well as 2 bridges......we never visit on holiday weekends...due to the additional traffic...and our trips to visit are limited to 2 a year...so unless someone else is going to pay your bills......move where you want...for you will never be happy moving to a place that some else wants you to move to......
Bydand, now that you left and never are around for extended family birthdays and holidays as much do those faces around the table give you dirty looks? My kids don't really care where we live as long as there is a pool and skateboard park and a bedroom for everyone. They just really want there cousins to be there with them. So I guess 2 or 12 hours would not really matter in the long run because both trips have to be planned and would not happen as much as now when the cousins are only 15 min. away.
Bydand, now that you left and never are around for extended family birthdays and holidays as much do those faces around the table give you dirty looks? My kids don't really care where we live as long as there is a pool and skateboard park and a bedroom for everyone. They just really want there cousins to be there with them. So I guess 2 or 12 hours would not really matter in the long run because both trips have to be planned and would not happen as much as now when the cousins are only 15 min. away.
Tough call. A true trade off. If family is that important, stay close. If not. Follow your dreams. Do it for yourselves. The kids will adjust. You will all make new friends. You'll see. Besides, that extended family you speak of would likely leave other family behind given the chance...
Just realized this is an older thread. I hate that. you've probably already moved.
Mr Floyd, still in the same position, stuck in Nj, afraid to walk away from a stable job that pays well for the field, just not well enough for Nj living. I forgot about this thread and it's kinda nice to re-read it. I think many people are looking for a change and want to explore different areas, just a very hard thing to uproot and really do. I give a lot of credit to anyone who does it with a family.
Bydand, now that you left and never are around for extended family birthdays and holidays as much do those faces around the table give you dirty looks?
Didn't see this post until today.
No dirty looks around the table at all. They miss extended family of course, but they are much happier here, than where we were. The only comments I hear are not about us moving back, but wanting the rest of the family to move here so they could have the best of both worlds. When questioned if they would rather be close to family, or where we are now, it is unanimous that they would all rather be here... without debate or having to think about it.
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Pioneer's!!!
...from experience....my daughter lives 2 - 3 hours or more away from me...depending on traffic...as well as 2 bridges...
...we never visit on holiday weekends...due to the additional traffic...and our trips to visit are limited to 2 a year...so unless someone else is going to pay your bills...
...move where you want...for you will never be happy moving to a place that some else wants you to move to...
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