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Old 10-24-2015, 07:41 PM
Location: Lil Rhodey
679 posts, read 464,289 times
Reputation: 938


Providence would be a 60yr old, semi-balding Italian goombah with comb-over and a huge gut. Dresses like a guido with a pink shirt and white shoes. Drives a mint green Caddilac with a low-number licence plate (a big deal in RI). Smokes cigars and thinks hes a big shot because he "knows people" . Likes to show off and is usually the loudest guy in the bar. He thinks everyone likes him, but they merely just tollerate him because he buys them drinks.
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Old 10-24-2015, 08:09 PM
Location: FLORIDA
8,964 posts, read 6,262,218 times
Reputation: 3380
Miami- guy who works for a store in the mall, making peanuts. Leases a 3 series BMW. Lives with his parents.
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Old 10-24-2015, 10:50 PM
Location: Dallas TX sucks
373 posts, read 265,478 times
Reputation: 241
Originally Posted by StreetSmarts View Post
Miami- guy who works for a store in the mall, making peanuts. Leases a 3 series BMW. Lives with his parents.
Great one.

I met and know several guys in Miami that are like that.
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Old 10-25-2015, 07:22 AM
Location: Wonderland
44,775 posts, read 36,172,094 times
Reputation: 63437
Dallas - that cheerleader who barely made the squad, who wears a lot of makeup and looks like stank when she doesn't take an hour to do her makeup and hair, and who knows deep down inside that she's the most mediocre member of the squad, but she also takes inordinate pride in being on the squad. She doesn't know it, but these are the best days of her life. It's all downhill from here.

New Orleans - the 65 year old woman sitting at the bar wearing cheap costume jewelry but whose profile is patrician and who has a definite air of gentility about her. When she talks, there's a trace of a foreign accent, but it's hard to place. She has false eyelashes on but when you look into her face, you're immediately drawn past those and into the depths of her soul, where the smell of patchouli lingers along with the memories of many long gone lovers.

Houston - He's a manly man who looks like a cowboy but when you get to talking with him, you realize he's traveled all over the world and that he's surprisingly cosmopolitan. He opens the door for ladies, he loves children and puppies, he's the best friend you could ever have, but he will not hesitate to beat the crap out of anyone who disrespects Texas or the United States - because he's actually lived in many other countries and knows just how good we've got it here.

San Antonio - He's a short, wiry Hispanic guy dressed in jeans and work boots with a bandana tied around his neck (for functionality, not fashion!), who you would think doesn't have two pennies to rub together, but what you don't know is that he's saved enough money to send all his kids to college - and they're going to be the bosses and managers your kids are going to be working for one day. Better be sure they take Spanish!

Little Rock - she's the middle sister, the under achiever, the plain one, the one who likes banana pudding and chicken spaghetti and wishes Tab would make a come back. She's been married and divorced several times, but managed to hang on to the double wide. She doesn't like cell phones and doesn't trust "the internet." She wears sweat shirts with lace collars, and gold tennis shoes, and plays bingo on Friday nights, and is mad that smoking is no longer allowed in restaurants. She looks 55 but is only 38.

Birmingham - She's an old African American woman who dresses to the hilt for church every Sunday - white suit, white shoes, white hat. She's dignified and yet she will not hesitate to spank an out of control great grandchild. She lives in a shotgun house that's at least 75 years old, with no air conditioning and with walls covered in family photos spanning four generations, and the house smells like turnip greens and fried chicken. Speaking of fried chicken, she makes the best in the world. The black and white folks in town know that she is wise, and basically no one in Birmingham would think of getting married without stopping by her house for her blessing. When she dies, the funeral will be packed with people from every neighborhood and socioeconomic class and skin tone in the county.
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Old 10-26-2015, 05:22 AM
Location: San Antonio
5,286 posts, read 4,160,241 times
Reputation: 4349
Houston is a 32-year-old field tech at Shell. His father is Black and German, while his mother is mestizo. His girlfriend is a beautiful Vietnamese woman. He's tall and well built, but has a bit of a beer belly. Most of his every day clothes come straight from discount retailers but he heads to Armani Exchange when it's time to go out on the weekends. Drives a brand new black Ram 1500, but also owns a slightly older model Lexus sedan. He's thought about going into the medical field like many of his friends, but is really dreaming about opening his own smokehouse, specializing in every kind of meat from goat to alligator. He's smart enough to have a boring desk job but would rather work with his hands.

What most people don't know about him is he's a talented pencil artist and loves to try playing the guitar. Doesn't read much but when he does it's usually a graphic novel or maybe something by Daniel Da Cruz.
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Old 10-26-2015, 01:55 PM
Location: Raccoon City
814 posts, read 1,071,624 times
Reputation: 1312
Kansas City - That guy you went to high school with who you remember liking, if only you can remember his name...and what state he moved to. Through friends, you occasionally hear he is doing fine, though few remember how wild he was in his youth. He is surprisingly deep; he likes the arts, knows his jazz history, and will be the first one on his block to hold a bbq. Interestingly, no one really knows where he's from. Most will guess the Midwest, but there is an element of his spirit that suggests he has spent some time wandering around the open West, while stopping by the South on his way home for some cooking and musical inspiration.

Indianapolis - the all American boy. He is youthful in spirit, if not slightly reserved in his manner. A hopeless sports addict, he plays it all. To the surprise of many, he know how to throw a party. What he is most famous for is the get-together at his house on Memorial day weekend for racing; no one has seen anything like the crowds he attracts. The people are surprisingly diverse. Still, true to his Midwestern roots, he still makes sure everyone has a beer. Nice guy...if only he'd stop smoking.

Chicago - the most popular girl at Flyover High. Prom queen, class clown, and voted most likely to succeed...yet she is worth her salt.

Last edited by thefallensrvnge; 10-26-2015 at 02:39 PM..
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Old 10-26-2015, 06:16 PM
Location: Cleveland
3,179 posts, read 3,848,403 times
Reputation: 2478
Cleveland - The quiet bad boy with a tough looking surface, but big heart. A lot of people misjudge him by his appearance, and by rumors they've heard, but he knows who he is, and doesn't care much what people say anymore. He's practical and hard working, but knows how to have a good time. He spends his free time going to dingy looking but energetic bars and music clubs that have large beer lists, watching pro sports, and eating good hearty food at local restaurants. He may not look sophisticated, but he has no disdain for art museums, classical music, or theater. He's not particularly outdoorsy, but does enjoy boating on Lake Erie or jogging/biking through the metroparks. He's a democrat, and somewhat open-minded towards different races, religions, cultures, and sexual orientations, but he doesn't go out of his way to be welcoming. He's well intentioned, even if he sometimes fumbles; and recently he's been getting his act together and doing a lot of remodeling.

Last edited by Cleverfield; 10-26-2015 at 07:15 PM..
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Old 10-26-2015, 06:31 PM
2,769 posts, read 2,495,000 times
Reputation: 1920
Seattle: The rich, white, super liberal who likely works in the tech industry. Loves seafood and coffee. Hates traffic and says he cares about the environment, but refuses to take public transportation. Smokes pot and goes to bed early. Loves the outdoors, especially hiking. Nice, but not overly friendly and not interested in making friends right away.

Portland: The more hipster cousin of Seattle. Beer enthusiast. Very liberal. Picks up on the latest trends and fashion before most. Also loves the outdoors and coffee. Considered "cooler" than its bigger cousin Seattle, although not as popular.
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Old 10-26-2015, 08:42 PM
Location: West of the Rockies
1,112 posts, read 1,871,070 times
Reputation: 1086
Denver is the lone ranger who didn't fit in with any of them, but not in an emo sorta way. You see, going back to early childhood, Denver was best friends with the Midwest. But when they reached high school, the Midwest got fat and Denver decided she was too embarrassing to be seen with. So Denver ditched her for skinny California. But by senior year, California decided Denver was lame and not cool enough, so CA ended up ditching Denver. So Denver ended up graduating HS with no friends. Sometimes she wishes she could gain back friendship with the Midwest, but it's too late.

Last edited by skidamarink; 10-26-2015 at 09:29 PM..
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Old 10-26-2015, 10:42 PM
985 posts, read 1,087,106 times
Reputation: 1265
Originally Posted by StreetSmarts View Post
Miami- guy who works for a store in the mall, making peanuts. Leases a 3 series BMW. Lives with his parents.
Sounds a lot like Dallas
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