How much of a life did I really miss out on by living in a dry, plain, boring area? (fit in, violent crime)

[jgamibi]

So I am a 19 year old college sophomore, in my second semester of college and good news has come. I have been accepted into some decent out of state schools as a transfer applicant. Of course I will be going there for my final two years of college. After college I plan on going to med school and if that doesn't work out then I want to go for a masters in cell research.

Anyways for my high school years and my final two years of middle school I lived in a really small town in Arkansas. Still here, there isn't much diversity in the town I live in. How did I suffer?

Well I am an Indian (India) kid, though I made some friends with Black and White people, I didn't have many opportunities to date. I did date a Hispanic girl who later ended up moving, not a lot of open acceptance if I was to date a White girl (though my friends tell me it is like this everywhere, I fail to believe them). Also the high school I went to provided little to no opportunity for me to get into a top university, most kids who made it into a decent college from my area were rich kids who went to private schools.

Now I am wondering, how much did I miss out on as a kid by not living in a nice progressive area?

[jtur88]

Right off hand, I would say you are probably more well-rounded and broad-minded than people in a larger city, because you had to learn to deal with all the kinds of people your community had to offer. In a larger city, you would have hand-picked your friends, and not been exposed to as many different types of personality. That would have pre-formed you as the character type represented by your choice of friends.

[west336]

Originally Posted by jgamibi

So I am a 19 year old college sophomore, in my second semester of college and good news has come. I have been accepted into some decent out of state schools as a transfer applicant. Of course I will be going there for my final two years of college. After college I plan on going to med school and if that doesn't work out then I want to go for a masters in cell research.

Anyways for my high school years and my final two years of middle school I lived in a really small town in Arkansas. Still here, there isn't much diversity in the town I live in. How did I suffer?

Well I am an Indian (India) kid, though I made some friends with Black and White people, I didn't have many opportunities to date. I did date a Hispanic girl who later ended up moving, not a lot of open acceptance if I was to date a White girl (though my friends tell me it is like this everywhere, I fail to believe them). Also the high school I went to provided little to no opportunity for me to get into a top university, most kids who made it into a decent college from my area were rich kids who went to private schools.

Now I am wondering, how much did I miss out on as a kid by not living in a nice progressive area?

Listen, I've never been to Arkansas but my gut feeling says it kinda sucks, especially if you've been told not to date white women. Get out, and get out fast! You are not meant for the provincial ways of Arkansas. Move to any big city or out West, the Northeast, Midwest or anywhere where people don't give you guidelines on how to live your life (outside of sports maybe, which WILL happen in any of those places!).

[jgamibi]

Well I just feel that my life could have been better other than extremely dry and boring, like there is literally nothing here.

[canudigit]

Originally Posted by jgamibi

Well I just feel that my life could have been better other than extremely dry and boring, like there is literally nothing here.

Well, your life could have been worse too, considering that you could have a fatal or extremely debilitating disease, you could have been the victim of a violent crime, you could have grown up in a homeless shelter...

Not to take away from what you're saying, but honestly, if you are healthy and have a roof over your head, is life that bad? "Suffer" because you grew up in a small town in Arkansas? Really? IDK about anyone else, but the word "suffer" to me conjures up visions of people in excruciating pain dying of cancer, of babies being physically abused, of people going without food for days on end, or of people living on the streets. True "suffering" is not normally defined as being bored or wishing you lived somewhere more exciting.

You are extremely young, you have your entire life to explore the rest of the world. To already feel doomed by the fact that you grew up in a "dry and boring" place is to give your parents no credit at all for providing you with the things that you do have. So some people grow up in LA or NYC and have horrific, violence-filled childhoods. What did they miss out on by growing up in a "nice progressive" area but having no stability or love in their lives?

Normally, everyone can think of at least a few things to be thankful for. I hope you can too and that when you finally do get out into the bigger world you realize that maybe things weren't all bad when you were a kid. And I hope that you never, ever experience true suffering.

[David Aguilar]

You're 19. I'm 27 now, but looking back on when I was 19, I'd have to say it was probably the most difficult year of my life, internally.

I grew up in a very diverse area, and I don't feel as though my life was enriched because of it. Diversity is extremely overrated, as is "sticking to one's kind".

During the time I was 16-20, I didn't have tons of opportunities to date either, and I had fit into my area quite "well" racially/ethnically. Anybody that tells you that dating/mating needs to be racially motivated has a narrow view of the world and themselves IMO.

My high school produced everything from urban clothing designers, to dropouts living with their parents, to everything in between. We sent people to top universities, the local community college, and to McDonald's.

I don't think you missed out on anything by growing up in AR. You could have the same sort of feelings you have now if you had grown up where I did.

Get out and enjoy the world. GO GO GO

[jgamibi]

Originally Posted by David Aguilar

You're 19. I'm 27 now, but looking back on when I was 19, I'd have to say it was probably the most difficult year of my life, internally.

I grew up in a very diverse area, and I don't feel as though my life was enriched because of it. Diversity is extremely overrated, as is "sticking to one's kind".

During the time I was 16-20, I didn't have tons of opportunities to date either, and I had fit into my area quite "well" racially/ethnically. Anybody that tells you that dating/mating needs to be racially motivated has a narrow view of the world and themselves IMO.

My high school produced everything from urban clothing designers, to dropouts living with their parents, to everything in between. We sent people to top universities, the local community college, and to McDonald's.

I don't think you missed out on anything by growing up in AR. You could have the same sort of feelings you have now if you had grown up where I did.

Get out and enjoy the world. GO GO GO

Wow a guy I wanted to hear from, long time no see.

Anyways my HS was very small and hardly ever sent kids to top schools because there wasn't a means for them to get there.

[David Aguilar]

Originally Posted by jgamibi

Anyways my HS was very small and hardly ever sent kids to top schools because there wasn't a means for them to get there.

But, you have big plans for your future. Something went right somewhere.

[CMDallas]

You didn't "Miss out" on anything. You just experiences something new.
I think it's good for people to broaden their Horizons. Someone in Manhattan wants out, at this very moment. Someone in Manhattan wants to live out in the country.
There pros and cons to everything.

You have the chance to see something new.... go for it. Don't stay in Arkansas. I complain about how I'm tired of Texas, but I don't think I could handle Arkansas. No offence, I just have a burning desire to live in an actual city, and not suburbia.

and your friends are wrong. In bigger cities, it's totally acceptable.I know an Indian and White couple who just finished tying the knot. Mrs. Patel is actual a ginger on top of it all.
There a couple more examples I could rattle off, but to cut to the chase, I don't think many people give a hoot about race in larger cities.
With the exception of African Americans. I don't think they're fond of marrying outside their race. I feel like they look down on it more than any other race. I often hear them chastise their own if they "talk white". But there are some inter-racial couples, so it's not like they are totally against it.

[jgamibi]

Originally Posted by CMDallas

You didn't "Miss out" on anything. You just experiences something new.
I think it's good for people to broaden their Horizons. Someone in Manhattan wants out, at this very moment. Someone in Manhattan wants to live out in the country.
There pros and cons to everything.

You have the chance to see something new.... go for it. Don't stay in Arkansas. I complain about how I'm tired of Texas, but I don't think I could handle Arkansas. No offence, I just have a burning desire to live in an actual city, and not suburbia.

and your friends are wrong. In bigger cities, it's totally acceptable.I know an Indian and White couple who just finished tying the knot. Mrs. Patel is actual a ginger on top of it all.
There a couple more examples I could rattle off, but to cut to the chase, I don't think many people give a hoot about race in larger cities.
With the exception of African Americans. I don't think they're fond of marrying outside their race. I feel like they look down on it more than any other race. I often hear them chastise their own if they "talk white". But there are some inter-racial couples, so it's not like they are totally against it.

In my experience I would say Latinos too, it is odd, the guys would date out in a heartbeat but try to pick a fight with the non-Latin guy being with their women. Sad.

One thing I am happy about, not a lot of Indian girls here because honestly I do not ever see myself dating one.

Anyone want to suggest some areas where my goal of doing that can come true?