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Old 07-19-2011, 05:19 PM
 
1 posts, read 1,165 times
Reputation: 10

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Michigander in the midst of an "I hate my life" mid-life-tantrum, thinking of chasing the "southern hospitality" dream. Is it true? Are southern "folk" as genuiinly nice as portrayed to be? Do I read too much?

I want to be part of a community. Where the kids can play outside, people passing say hi. No games. No more of this climbing the political latter off the sweat of the little guys back.
Same faces day in and day out. No more suites just passing thru to their next big money project (thanks to all your hard work).

I want to get up, go to work, come home and sit on the front porch.... oh, and high speed internet too!!
I'm not looking to be rich. I just want a simple home, simple lifestyle. Homework at the dining room table vs the rear view mirror or cell phone.

Am I chasing a fairy tale? Tell me where to go cuz i'm fixing to grab my kids, my dogs and my car keys....

... and no, I haven't been drinking... yet!
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Old 07-19-2011, 05:33 PM
 
Location: The Conterminous United States
22,554 posts, read 47,341,275 times
Reputation: 13397
People are friendly here. Yes, you can come home and sit on the porch, wave at people and they wave back and we even have high-speed internet. The schools are good here, too and I love the weather.

But I'd look for a job first. Our unemployment rate is lower than a lot of places but that does not guarantee a job and without one life can be unpleasant.

And you'd probably want to visit our area first. I think this place is darn-near perfect but my utopia could be your hell. And no place is perfect like a television show.
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Old 07-19-2011, 06:09 PM
 
Location: Cary, NC
8,272 posts, read 22,420,111 times
Reputation: 5564
Why not plan a visit and come find out?
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Old 07-19-2011, 06:22 PM
 
Location: NC
1,696 posts, read 3,992,444 times
Reputation: 1862
IF you are looking for new best friends the moment you move in - no, you wont find it. southerners are polite, but not overly friendly. Keep in mind, more than likely your neighbors are likely to be from NY or CA or OH or any other state, especially if you live in cary or parts of raleigh. I've been here my whole life, and know lots of locals, but a good number of 'us' have move to outlying communities. Inflated housing costs being a primary reason, I imagine (it really is nothing against those moving here LOL - my best friend is from NY )

That being said, there are many many nice neighborhoods and kids play outside in most of them, I imagine. Most of them have high speed internet (LOL)

Overall, in most towns, cities and communities... folks are nice. Differnt communities have different feels to them - North Raleigh is different from ITB (areas inside the beltline), and both are different from cary and wake forest and youngsville or Garner and Clayton. This is why many people rent for a year or so to get a feel for where they would be happiest.

Many people Love it here... some hate it here... I tend to believe ANYWHERE is what you make of it. Come visit and dont forget to visit places like grocery stores, gas stations, etc... to get a feel for what daily life is like. Also, the job market is very competitive. Ideally, you work from home or can transfer with your existing employer, and don't have to worry about it.
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Old 07-19-2011, 07:23 PM
 
226 posts, read 446,782 times
Reputation: 237
Might catch some flack here, but I feel that true "Southern Hospitality" is more readily found in small towns and rural areas more so than in more populated places like the Triangle. Not to say it can't be found in the cities, but the changing demographics tend to make them less traditionally Southern.

I don't feel that Southerners are necessarily a friendlier lot, but they do tend to be less in your face than other parts of the country. I say this as a Southerner myself. There's a certain politesse that old time Southerners possess but I think a good bit of that is lost in the younger generations.

An example of the kind of hospitality I grew up with: if you went to my grandmother's house, you'd be offer something to drink and practically forced to sit down for cake or to partake in a meal, even for people she barely knew. I find that kind of hospitality less common.

I'd encourage you to visit the area and get a feel for the place. It would help form a more realistic view and not an imagined ideal or Hollywood version of the South.
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Old 07-19-2011, 09:36 PM
Status: "could've~would've~should've used 'have', not 'of'" (set 17 days ago)
 
Location: A Yankee in northeast TN
10,467 posts, read 14,312,551 times
Reputation: 23243
I agree with some of the others. IMO the famous 'southern hospitality' is more about manners and politeness, trying to make people feel more comfortable.
People will wave at you, chat you up, go out of their way to help you if you need it, invite you into their homes or their churches to meet other people, but none of this of this means they necessarily have intentions of being your new found friends.
I don't think that it's fake or in any way a bad thing. I think it makes life a little sweeter when people treat each other nicely ~although I will admit being told to have a blessed day and being called 'hon' by other women half my age was a little disconcerting at first.
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Old 07-20-2011, 09:04 AM
 
Location: Arvada, CO
13,236 posts, read 24,416,312 times
Reputation: 13004
OP, you might want to look into Washington state, Oregon, Idaho, and Montana as well.
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Old 07-20-2011, 10:01 AM
 
Location: West Michigan
3,076 posts, read 5,448,737 times
Reputation: 4318
Quote:
Originally Posted by IamTracy View Post
Michigander in the midst of an "I hate my life" mid-life-tantrum, thinking of chasing the "southern hospitality" dream. Is it true? Are southern "folk" as genuiinly nice as portrayed to be? Do I read too much?

I want to be part of a community. Where the kids can play outside, people passing say hi. No games. No more of this climbing the political latter off the sweat of the little guys back.
Same faces day in and day out. No more suites just passing thru to their next big money project (thanks to all your hard work).

I want to get up, go to work, come home and sit on the front porch.... oh, and high speed internet too!!
I'm not looking to be rich. I just want a simple home, simple lifestyle. Homework at the dining room table vs the rear view mirror or cell phone.

Am I chasing a fairy tale? Tell me where to go cuz i'm fixing to grab my kids, my dogs and my car keys....

... and no, I haven't been drinking... yet!
I don't think you have to move south to find what you're looking for. It's more of an urban vs rural phenomenon than north vs south.

Let me guess... you live in SE Michigan/Metro Detroit.

That small town vibe actually exists in many places in Michigan. Just not where you live. There are a lot of places on the west side of the state that are just like what you described. If you move to another big city in the South, you might be disappointed. Cities are cities.
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Old 07-20-2011, 10:07 AM
 
Location: Lafayette, La
2,035 posts, read 4,555,130 times
Reputation: 1422
Southern Louisiana is really down to Earth and they know how to throw a party. However the pace of life near the larger cities is starting to speed up.
You can still experience what you're talking about though.
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Old 07-20-2011, 10:11 AM
 
Location: West Michigan
12,084 posts, read 34,155,973 times
Reputation: 16839
Quote:
Originally Posted by michigan83 View Post
I don't think you have to move south to find what you're looking for. It's more of an urban vs rural phenomenon than north vs south.

Let me guess... you live in SE Michigan/Metro Detroit.

That small town vibe actually exists in many places in Michigan. Just not where you live. There are a lot of places on the west side of the state that are just like what you described. If you move to another big city in the South, you might be disappointed. Cities are cities.
You beat me to it. I have everything on that list, plus Lake Michigan beaches within a 10 minute drive.
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