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I just wanted to hear some of your opinions and experiences in regards to this topic.
As a gay man, I sometimes find that we judge and discriminate against one another much more than the general population. Maybe it's just a matter of location, but in my experiences, I've noticed that gay men have been quick to look for friends who are of a certain race, a certain weight, a certain age, etc. (the weight part is true--I've read some personals ads in the past in which guys say they're looking for "friendship", but you can't weigh more than 200 lbs.). Not to mention, I live in the conservative South, but the only people who have referred to me as a "n" have been gay men. I'd rather some bigot tell me I'm going to Hell than hear a racial slur come out of the mouth of one of my "own".
It also seems as if gay men want to sleep with you before getting to know you. Also, gay men can be very catty and confrontational for no reason.
Now I know that no one's perfect, but it just seems as if my straight friends and associates don't have as hard of a time getting to know people. They see people as people and if they like you, they like you, but if they don't, it's got nothing to do with being too old or too light or too dark or too heavy. And I certainly don't mean to imply all gay men are like this, but I've had some very unpleasant experiences.
On the contrary, I love lesbians to death. They, to me are much more laid back and see me for me (maybe because of the lack of physical attraction).
I was wondering if anyone else agrees. And if you disagree, please talk to me. I just feel that it would be a disservice to me to try to fit in with a group that won't accept me or others for various and petty reasons. Somebody once said something along the lines of, "There is no way gays will be accepted in this country because we can't stop fighting and hating on each other." The optimistic side of me says one day things will change. The pessimistic said says over my dead body!
Last edited by IBrakeforTailgaters; 08-16-2007 at 04:27 PM..
Reason: Grammatical error
You raise an interesting point. The best answer I can give you is that YES there are some people who are just like you described, and there are some that aren't. I think the differences between us all transcend labels like gay or straight.
Yes I have noticed what you mentioned for many years, I have to include financial status seems to be way up there also. Its not with everyone but it is with a large segment of the gay population. I am retired now Im 57, and when I started looking for retirement locales I really ran into this separation in status so to speak. The few communities being built for gay people were for the affluent, and if someone reading this wants to challenge that comment they are welcome to it. Palm springs, santa fe, and suburban sarasota fla speak for themselves. Its best to look for gay people that you are comfortable with, but always have some straight friends also that are accepting of you. Some gay people are actually more comfortable with straights when they know they accept them, that with many gay people because of the reasons you mentioned.
Yes I have noticed what you mentioned for many years, I have to include financial status seems to be way up there also. Its not with everyone but it is with a large segment of the gay population. I am retired now Im 57, and when I started looking for retirement locales I really ran into this separation in status so to speak. The few communities being built for gay people were for the affluent, and if someone reading this wants to challenge that comment they are welcome to it. Palm springs, santa fe, and suburban sarasota fla speak for themselves. Its best to look for gay people that you are comfortable with, but always have some straight friends also that are accepting of you. Some gay people are actually more comfortable with straights when they know they accept them, that with many gay people because of the reasons you mentioned.
I agree with what you've said, but what I put in bold really hits home. After so much effort on my end to meet cool people, I just said, "You know what? If it's this hard to find friends I have my sexuality in common with, then I'm gonna devote my energy toward making people who I like. Forget what makes them hot". When I did that, I made some of the best friends I could have asked for. It's natural for us to put ourselves into subgroups, but for a group that gets enough hatred and bad press, it's unfortunate that it's to such an extreme. I'll live either way
I agree with what you've said, but what I put in bold really hits home. After so much effort on my end to meet cool people, I just said, "You know what? If it's this hard to find friends I have my sexuality in common with, then I'm gonna devote my energy toward making people who I like. Forget what makes them hot". When I did that, I made some of the best friends I could have asked for. It's natural for us to put ourselves into subgroups, but for a group that gets enough hatred and bad press, it's unfortunate that it's to such an extreme. I'll live either way
I agree live either way
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