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Old 11-29-2011, 03:44 PM
257 posts, read 331,507 times
Reputation: 220


Hello all,

My husband, myself and our toddler currently live in Minneapolis. Husband has an interview for a job in Rochester, NY. Pay would be much better than the basically nothing we're living on now, barely making ends meet here in Minneapolis.

I was on the Rochester forum and it doesn't sound like a place we'd like. But I do have a brother in NYC so maybe that will help. Thinking maybe we can visit him once a month or he visits us in Rochester if we do live there.

Generally we like Minneapolis except it's not very diverse, and seems very cookie-cutter in the type of people you meet here. I'm currently a stay-at-home Mom and am mortified by the other stay-at-homes here, they seem very rigid and have very OCD personalities, which is basically the opposite of me, laid-back and friendly. They also seem very, well ,boring to be honest. We've lived in Minneapolis for about 1 and a half years and have had the hardest time meeting friends. Being a stay-at-home Mom doesn't help obviously, but I've reached out to other Moms many times and they just seem to have their own group of friends already and it just doesn't feel like the kindess is reciprocated basically. Everyone else out here seems very well-off financially and have their own little groups and cliques. We feel like outsiders, and just want to make a decent living (being able to have some spending money after rent and utility bills) and make at least a couple of good friends.

If my husband gets the job in Rochester, should we move? Also, both he and I are in the government field and have had basically very little luck in finding competitive jobs in government here in Minneapolis, we're barely making ends meet which is part of the reason we want to move. If we were to find a better job (and myself to land any kind of professional job) here in Minneapolis we would consider staying, because it is family-oriented. But I would not mind moving because I don't know how long we'd have to wait for our financial situation to improve and like I said, we haven't met any friends out here. My husband has worked in 2 different entry-level jobs in government since we moved here and neither workplaces had people we would even consider as friends, they are either very rude and demeaning and just not our type.

I love college towns too, I don't know if this will help, but I'm just trying to figure out what we should do. He's all excited about the Rochester interview but after reading the posts on their forum I am not.

Would love any genuine, helpful advice!!!! Thanks. My husband has been applying for jobs in Minneapolis and all over the country and the Rochester one is his first interview in about a year. If he gets the job, should we move to Rochester or stay in Minneapolis, hoping to get an interview in a place better than Rochester (for a lack of a better way to put it) or even waiting to see if we can get a better job in Minneapolis........

Would love any helpful thoughts, ideas, sharing of experiences, etc. Thank you.
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Old 11-29-2011, 05:07 PM
59,338 posts, read 84,129,768 times
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Rochester is an underrated city, in my opinion. I think you would like it. If you want suburbs, Henrietta, Brighton, Irondequoit and Chili would fit. Perhaps Greece too. All have diverse areas and good schools. Brockport is another area to look into, as there is a state school(SUNY) there. University of Rochester has some nice urban neighborhoods close by. Pittsford, arguably the most affluent community in Upstate NY is in the area and is one of the best school districts in the state. Rochester Institute of Technology is in Henrietta and Roberts Wesleyan is in Chili.

I don't know why that forum would scare you, as there are a variety of opinions. This may help too: Rochester Wiki - The People's Guide to Rochester

Last edited by ckhthankgod; 11-29-2011 at 05:46 PM..
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Old 11-29-2011, 05:52 PM
11,268 posts, read 22,823,315 times
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How many people are even on the Rochester forum? I certainly wouldn't base action or decisions on what might just be a few bitter people or some teenager who just wants to get out him/herself. I don't know anyone on that forum, so not basing any of that on truth - but it's just a forum with a handful of people!!
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Old 11-29-2011, 05:53 PM
Location: Rochester
855 posts, read 1,680,543 times
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You should have posted this in the Rochester forum as you would've gotten more responses. I understand your concerns, Rochester certainly has a bad reputation but it's a truly great city. The locals make it out to be worse than it is. I suggest you guys take a trip here before making your final decision, but don't count it out just because of some posts online.

Rochester is quite a bit smaller than Minneapolis with a population of 210k and a metro of 1.1 million (compared to Minneapolis' 380k and 3.3 million), but it definitely has many of the amenities a big city would have. Rochester is more diverse than Minneapolis, with many Italian, African-American, Puerto Rican and Irish populations, not to mention the largest per capita deaf population in the United States. It is also the 2nd largest economic center in New York State, and the second wealthiest behind NYC with major employers such as the University of Rochester/Strong Health, Eastman Kodak, Xerox, Bausch & Lomb, the City of Rochester and the State of New York. In my experience Rochester is a pretty friendly city, though I do live here. I have never been to Minneapolis however, so I am in no position to compare the two

You said something about Minneapolis being boring and expensive. Rochester has a fairly low cost of living compared to the rest of the country (housing is 57% cheaper than Minneapolis), the lowest unemployment rate in NY and a very short commute time that nearly lacks a true "rush hour." As for things to do, Rochester is about a 40 minutes from the Finger Lakes region of NY, an hour from Niagara Falls/Buffalo and 3 hours from Toronto, making a day trip to this locations and more very easy. Trips to other places including New York City, Boston, Quebec, the Adirondacks, Philidelphia etc. can be comfortably done in less than 10 hours. Within the city itself, there are a plethora of festivals and other activities to do. I suggest taking your child to the Strong Museum, which is a Smithsonian affiliate and history/children's musem, the largest of it's kind in the world.

Overall, I think you would really enjoy Rochester. It has some real inner beauty and is probably one of the most underrated cities in the world. Check out some of these links to find out more info and good luck!

Rochester Wiki - The People's Guide to Rochester
Rochester, Brighton, and Pittsford, Real Estate - Rose Gabriele
Home | National Museum of Play
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Old 11-29-2011, 06:00 PM
Location: northern Vermont - previously NM, WA, & MA
9,565 posts, read 18,892,729 times
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So what are your perceptions of Rochester? You have to take C-D forums with a grain of salt. What kind of city would you like to live in? It seems Minneapolis isn'tthe right place for you judging by what I've read, why bother sticking around if it's not your forte and you don't have strings attached ? Rochester I know isn't that glamourous in the eyes of many urbanites but it sounds like it might be a good opportunity in which you may regret letting it pass you by. I might suggest taking the intiative of starting a thread asking locals what they like about Rochester, and base the thread around its positive attributes.
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Old 11-29-2011, 07:39 PM
570 posts, read 1,166,464 times
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I have lived 1-2 hours away from Rochester for a large part of my life and completely agree with all the previous posters on this thread. Rochester is a great city for it's size, many highly rated colleges/universities, with plenty to do for all ages, diversity, many great neighborhoods (many of which are far from cookie-cutter). Rochester is much smaller than Minneapolis, so I'm not sure comparing the two is totally fair. But I can say that I have known people at all ages and stages of life who love living in the Rochester area (natives, transplants, young singles, families, older folks, etc). In addition, real estate in Rochester is very affordable which may help improve your financial position. Good luck with your decision!
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Old 11-30-2011, 09:49 AM
257 posts, read 331,507 times
Reputation: 220
Thanks everyone for the feedback, I appreciate it. I guess I am just worried about moving to a new place, and yes we'll have a much better income which will make life a ton easier, but then have the same problems that we had before (other than the income), but with less to do. I'm concerned that we'll move out there and I still won't be able to find a job, we won't meet friends, etc.

I think I would really rather stay in in the Twin Cities because I do enjoy the quality of life here, there's tons to do, etc. Unforunately though, I do not know how long we would have to wait for us to really make a decent living here. Like I said, we're barely making ends meet b/c, we can barely pay rent and bills. It's hard to watch everyone else here do very well, be able to join activities, etc. and really partake in what this city has to offer whereas we can only limited things because we can't afford anything.

But I am more open to Rochester. Who knows, we may or may not even move there depending on the job interview. I just don't know how much longer we can wait it out here in the Twin Cities, life is really miserable right now. My husband's family who lives here says to wait it out one more year but I just don't think we can do that. Before we moved here we were in the military and had to move every couple of years. We just want to live somewhere where we can make a decent living and have be able to enjoy life without constantly worried about how we can pay for things. I'm not talking about a life of luxury either, we just can't afford to pursue hobbies, etc. or adequately pay for things our child needs and despite how high the quality of life here in the Twin Cities is, every day I start thinking it would be better to just move somewhere were at least one of us has a decent job.
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Old 11-30-2011, 11:37 AM
59,338 posts, read 84,129,768 times
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What type of employment can you do? This may help: Central New York Jobs
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Old 11-30-2011, 02:23 PM
257 posts, read 331,507 times
Reputation: 220
Thank you very much for this link, I will look through it.

I am in government and human resources, my husband is in public affairs.

The only job I was able to find in the Twin Cities was a teacher's aide position (I also have some experience in education and teaching), but the hourly wage and the long commute just didn't make sense to continue. Plus I would need reliable child care for my child and even my husband and I's wages combined would not be able to cover reliable child care plus our rent and utility bills.

I've been out of the job market for a couple of years to raise a child, but I didn't think it would make that much of a difference, I do have an advanced degree and experience. I had interviews, but my computer skills were rusty and they always hired an internal candidate. I've looked for almost 2 years and can't land just a professional job here, I would even take something part-time.

I get very frustrated because the Twin Cities just seems like "who you know" is the rule in government jobs, not the exception. I've had luck in other places working in government, but not here. It just seems like a club that I cannot break into, no matter how qualified I feel like I am. Government employers just don't seem very open to hiring newcomers/outsiders. It's extremely family-oriented here so I think the job market is extra competitive. At the same time, the cost of living here is not cheap, which is troublesome for us to say the least. Right now I'm looking at the school district for jobs, we'll see how that goes. I just don't think we can wait it out too much longer here, but I just feel like this would be such a perfect place to live had we a better financial situation.

But I guess I have to be open to moving at least, although it breaks my heart to do so, I feel like we have invested living here and now once again we have to start all over, I just don't think I can keep doing this. As I mentioned, we were in the military for 8 years and now especially with a toddler I just want to settle down somewhat, but without a good job here in the Twin Cities, I don't know how much we can continue to struggle financially like this just to keep afloat.

Thank you for the link, it will be helpful.
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Old 11-30-2011, 03:24 PM
570 posts, read 1,166,464 times
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With your experience, I wonder whether you may be able to find something at one of the many public or private universities in the Rochester area. Perhaps as adjunct faculty or in a non-teaching position? Especially if part time work would be ok for you. I'm sorry, my experience does not lie in those areas, so I have no idea what salary to expect those jobs to pay. But I do know that in the Rochester area, you can live more comfortably on less money, than you can in many other places. So perhaps taking a look at university openings is another idea for you?

My own personal opinion is that if you and your husband feel you have given Minneapolis a chance, you truly don't believe it's the right fit for you, and the right opportunity presents itself, maybe you should go for the new opportunity. Since you have experience moving with the military, you must have a good sense of whether you are just feeling 'homesick' or unsettled, or whether M'polis really just isn't right for you.
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