Southern "chivalry "and manners-what is it ?, does it exist today? (home, school)
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I do that. I didnt even think about that. Yeah, I wonder if that kinda thing is common in other regions
>>>>>
They're a bit more reserved
<<<<<
This is key in understanding this whole discussion. Southerners (and I can say this cause I am one) sometimes perceive folks from other regions as rude when in reality their culture, by in large, is more reserved. Having lived in the Northeast, the upper West Coast, the Deep South (Florida panhandle), and the Western-South/South-Central (Oklahoma/Texas) I can say without a doubt that folks north of the Mason-Dixon generally are more reserved than in the vast majority of the South.
From my experience, the West South Central states (Oklahoma/Texas/Louisiana/Arkansas) and one Mid-South state (Tennessee) seem to be full of the most folks that are the least standoffish in conversation, service, and thoughtfulness towards others with simple acts of kindness (holding doors, waving, speaking in public, acknowledging someone's existence, etc.) In speech I think it is much more common to hear "may I . . . ," and "please . . ." for requesting/ordering something and "thank you . . . " and "Yes Sir/Yes Ma'am" and the like.
My brother lived in a small town in a border state (Kentucky) for many years. I was pleasantly surprised by the polite greetings I would receive there. Last time I went I took my senior citizen mother along and my brother and I would laugh as she traveled around with us. It seemed every older person she would meet in a business would smile and say hello to her.
Having lived my entire life in Texas and Oklahoma, it's just what we were raised to do. We raised our kids to be polite, to say please and thank you, and Mam and Sir and to generally be kind and courteous to others. Both my kids are now in college and these are all things they still do.
When they were looking at universities, we visited tons of schools in both the South and the North. Manners and hospitality was one of the biggest deciding factors for them. While visiting a large school up north, we found the students to be what we consider to be rude. If we were lost on campus and looking for something, no one would help us, even when we asked. More than once, while looking for various buildings, we asked students. We were treated like we were some sort of invading aliens. No one would even point us in the right direction, even though most of the time we would be very near the buildings we were looking for. Several times we were just told "I don't know" other times we were just ignored without even a response to our inquiry. Once, while looking for the universities main dining facility, we asked a student if they could tell us where it was. We were told just "no". It turns out, the building we were looking for was directly behind the building we were in at the time. Okay, this is a university were most students live on campus and everyone has to purchase a meal plan, so you know this kid knew where the dining hall was.
When we visited schools in the South, if we ever even paused to look at a map, or just to look around to get our barrings, students or staff members would stop and ask if we needed help finding something. We had students walk all the way across campus with us to help us find things. Once while we were just sitting on a bench after a long hike across campus we had a couple of students come up and ask us if we were visiting campus for the first time and could they answer any questions for us and wish us good luck.
Both boys chose large southern schools. They both said they wanted to be around others that had similar manners and values. Our oldest is now applying to grad schools, and he has no interest in applying to any school that's not in the South.
The one moment I remember is while waiting in line at the grocery store; A young woman in front of me didn't have enough to pay for her groceries and she had like 5 kids with her. Everyone in line [including myself] chipped in to help her to pay for her stuff. We paid about $100 in all.
This was based on an old Scots-Irish heritage... It was put to the extreme out of being gentele to people... You don't really see it today, otherwise you would see duels in the street. Being rude or inhospitable to somebody, was like violating them.
Now that's funny. I saw more cutting off in traffic (never with a turn signal, mind you) in Tennessee than I've ever seen anywhere else.
Tennessee has the friendliest people in the whole south, even the USA. They will help you out if you need it, strike up a conversation with a total stranger. They have southern hospitality in abundence. There is one exception however, and that is when they are behind the wheel of an automobile. In the area of aggressive driving they could put someone from New Jersey to shame lol. I love Tennessee and its people but the driving, well thats a different story.
One thing I despise about Southerners is that they teach their kids to hate gays. Completely inexcusable.
They teach thier children that homosexuality is a sin, and they do not accept it. That does not mean they mistreat homosexuals, but they do not believe that lifestyle is right. Where I live in Michigan you will find that type of thinking as well, in fact Im sure that type of thinking is common everywhere between the coasts. Most Christians that believe it is wrong to be a homosexual would love to see those people go to church with them and repent of thier sin. Many pray for those who live that lifestyle, and look for lost souls to change. I dont think many people "hate" homosexuals the way you have stated they do. They do disaprove of it because of religious reasons and that is why it makes you angry. THey also dont believe in special rights for homosexuals either and that also makes people mad. Disaproval and hate are not the same thing. For those who truly hate homosexuals then yes I agree with you that it is inexcusable to act that way. Hate is always destructive and sinful. THose haters are not concentrated in the south either, Im sure you will find them spread out around the country.
I think it applies to both the south and midwest. When I was on a hunting trip with some friends from kansas, in canada. People looked at us funny for saying hello, and holding the door open for them. But if it were me I would group the south and midwest together and call it "God's country" I know as a southerner myself that I take pride in being from a conservative, family oriented, area. But I don't see a difference in values and manners in the south and midwest (I mean rural areas). The only difference I see in the people in accents.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
