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Generally, anywhere that has a high percentage of natives still in the area are like this. Midwestern cities (especially) are bad about this. I can tell you for certain...in some midwestern cities, the citizens will be ready to throw tomatoes at you if you express that you "don't like it there". It almost has to be done covertly.
It's not just midwestern cities. Every city has a high percentage of people who are native to the city. The overwhelming majority of people I meet form Philly, NYC and Boston were born there... or in the metro at least.
It's not just midwestern cities. Every city has a high percentage of people who are native to the city. The overwhelming majority of people I meet form Philly, NYC and Boston were born there... or in the metro at least.
It isn't just midwestern of course, but if we ran the stats, I would be willing to place a small wager that they are the least transient as far as new people coming in. Thus the effect.
You can't say a city which has 30-40% foreign born population is the same vs one with a 1% fbp, they aren't.
I've been "burnt-out" on my area for awhile now. It will be time to move soon..Anyway I stay off the AZ threads because I am probably "biased" right now...Don't want to list my gripes about the area. I know that quite a few people enjoy living here and I wish them "well" and continued happiness! Same goes for people who are considering moving here. I wish them "the best" too! I hope this area "fits them" and makes them happy too...I'm too tired to "fight" or gripe!.. Spend my days trying to figure out where to move next..And I know I'll miss some things about this area when I move away. But that's just the way it goes with any move. Maybe I'll come back and visit this area down the road when I'm not so "burnt-out." But right now I know I need a "fresh start" and a change of scenery.
It isn't just midwestern of course, but if we ran the stats, I would be willing to place a small wager that they are the least transient as far as new people coming in. Thus the effect.
You can't say a city which has 30-40% foreign born population is the same vs one with a 1% fbp, they aren't.
I think that the reason why people get so angry if you say anything negative about where they live is because their enviornment is a reflection of them. ....
They get very defensive because I feel like they feel it is the same type of situation as I mentioned earlier, and thus they can react strongly to even the slightest hint of saying something negative about their city where they live.
which is ridiculous as this is a relocation forum.
I dont see all posters who live in cities saying they are all that. In fact my friend sickofnyc is very cool, and admits NYC has problems.. A person would have to be pretty immature or naive to say ANY town or city is perfect.
California, I guess I can see why those who live there are defensive about. It is a beautiful state, but I dont live there.
What is immature is posts for constructive criticism on an area that could be useful for new people moving in. "Cheerleading" an area is 7th grade mentality. Not talking about city vs. country but somehow it devolves into that.
No one likes to be "put-down." But the truth is that everyone isn't going to "fall in love" with us. And everyone isn't going to "be in love" with where we live either!...This is just reality. We all have different "needs" and tastes and preferences...Some people take things very "personally" and get defensive if anyone dares to say anything they perceive to be "negative" about their area. Have you noticed this?...CD is basically a place where we can gain information and "compare notes" about different regions of the USA and world...Why do you think that some people have such a "do or die" mentality about where they live? Thanks.
So many reasons.
1) Personal attachment. When we live in a place for a long time, we develop attachments. Our friends, family and almost everything we care for is there and it becomes a part of us. When someone speaks negatively about our "area" they're usually generalizing. However, many of us are unable to see it as anything other than a personal attack on their area. They interpret it as if you're insulting their family and friends... not just some geographic location.
2) Civic Pride. This goes along the lines of number one but it isn't identical. We take pride in our city's accomplishments no matter how small. When someone puts our city down, it's tough not to get upset. I find that this is even more true about "down on their luck" places. I grew up near a small, fairly industrial seaport city. When I was younger, the city had relatively recently lost most of the manufacturing jobs it once had. It was in really rough shape. Since then, the city has improved quite a bit by creating a national historical park, growing new areas of the economy, and beautifying quite a bit. That said, it still has a ways to go before it's a "great" city. When someone visits for the first time and they comment on not seeing the potential or that the city "sucks," it's aggravating. It's aggravating because they don't have the perspective of where the city was before and they're not capable of seeing the progression. Therefore they don't share the civic pride and don't share the same outlook as I do.
3) Competitiveness. You don't have to look far to see many, "MY city is better because..." arguments. Everyone wants to win. It may not be pride or personal connection that makes a slight towards your city offend you. It may simply be that you want your city to be better than that of the person making the comments. I find this to be very true on city-data. Many people just want to be able to say that their city/town/state is the best.
4) Understanding vs. lack of understanding. Similar to number 2. As a local, you take a keen interest in your city. You know the ins and outs of planning processes and plans for improvement. You know how long it took to get that rail stop, or how hard the city had to fight to get that park down by the waterfront. So when someone makes a slight or remark that belittles all of that effort, you get angry. "How dare they say that! They have no idea how long it took to get that here!" It's almost the same as if you spent weeks painting a portrait only to have someone with no artistic comprehension and ability come by and say, "meh... it's not that great." You know how much work went into it, and they don't have a clue.
5) Perspective. This is a big one and I learned this lesson the hard way. Whether you grew up in a small town in the Midwest or in New York City is going to play a big role in your outlook on things. I grew up mostly in larger metros (Boston, Washington DC and Providence RI). When I went to college in Portland, ME I was underwhelmed with the nightlife and dining options and this really rubbed some people the wrong way. For them, growing up in Maine, Portland was the pinnacle of all things urban. For me, it was a small seaside village. They were annoyed that I viewed it that way. The same works in the reverse. I used to hear people gripe about crime and traffic in Portland, ME. To me, those things were nonexistent. Compared to Boston or Washington (even Providence), crime was not an issue anywhere, and traffic wasn't an issue at all. Still, I got annoyed when people refused to drive in the city or wouldn't walk in a certain neighborhood at night. It was infuriating. And it's all because of different perspectives. For the record, Portland has an excellent dining scene for a city its size. The nightlife (while good by Maine standards) is still pretty weak. Traffic and Crime are non-issues in the city.
6) Envy. I think this one comes into play more than most care to admit. Especially here on city-data. I read a lot of posts where people type absurd things about other cities. These remarks are often simply to get under the skin of residents in target cities and they often work. The resident of the target city then gets frustrated and the back and forth ensues. On the flip side, being envious of where the person who is insulting your city is from can make you angry as well. This happens quite frequently here on city-data.
7) The need to publicly defend one's city. Again, big here on city-data. Since this forum is a relocation forum and a resource for people who are moving or vacationing, many of us (myself included) get upset at some of the remarks we see about our cities and feel the need to defend them. Not because we feel that we're "defending the honor" of our city, but because we don't want real, live people to get the wrong impression of our city because someone is grumpy and decides do go on an emotionally charged rant slamming the city. As much as the back and forth frequently degrades into immature bickering, the posts here DO have lasting implications. I've spoken with (and even met) a few people who have made decisions on where they live based on posts of mine that they've read and conversations we've had from right here on city-data. That's one BIG reason I get angry when some of the more negative things (assuming there's no truth to them) are posted about my area.
There are probably more, but that's long enough for now.
dreamofmonterey...I agree with what you wrote. When I consider moving to a new area I want to know about the positives and the negatives...I don't want to "wear blinders" if I can help it. Don't want to end-up feeling like a "fool" because I "failed" to do enough research before I "took the plunge!"...It's no different than dating to me. We might date quite a few people before we find the "right" and "best match" for us. Dating someone one or two times and rushing right into marriage isn't always "smart."...Anyway I want to know all I can before I consider moving to a new area. I want to make an "informed decision." I want to make sure that I know both the "pro's" and the "con's" so I can "weigh everything" ahead of time. And choose an area that seems like a "good match" for me. (Even though I know that the area may have some "drawbacks" too.) I want to move with "open eyes!" (Not one "open eye" and one "closed eye!")
lrfox, I hear you on #7. In regards to certain cities maybe. NY vs. Chicago etc...
HOWEVER I have seen it on state forums, which is ludicrous. I do not know West Tennesse and do not write about it. But why are people so insistent "their area" is just perfect, and not validate genuine issues the state may or may not have.
This site is excellent if people post valid facts, photos etc. What I see sometimes is no facts backing up opinion that their area is just perfect. Bizarre.
I totally understand, especially when information about certain areas is exaggerated or is plain false. I think a part of it is if a city is bunched in with a region and people think that the same things occur in all of these cities and to the same degree.
Quote:
Originally Posted by lrfox
So many reasons.
1) Personal attachment. When we live in a place for a long time, we develop attachments. Our friends, family and almost everything we care for is there and it becomes a part of us. When someone speaks negatively about our "area" they're usually generalizing. However, many of us are unable to see it as anything other than a personal attack on their area. They interpret it as if you're insulting their family and friends... not just some geographic location.
2) Civic Pride. This goes along the lines of number one but it isn't identical. We take pride in our city's accomplishments no matter how small. When someone puts our city down, it's tough not to get upset. I find that this is even more true about "down on their luck" places. I grew up near a small, fairly industrial seaport city. When I was younger, the city had relatively recently lost most of the manufacturing jobs it once had. It was in really rough shape. Since then, the city has improved quite a bit by creating a national historical park, growing new areas of the economy, and beautifying quite a bit. That said, it still has a ways to go before it's a "great" city. When someone visits for the first time and they comment on not seeing the potential or that the city "sucks," it's aggravating. It's aggravating because they don't have the perspective of where the city was before and they're not capable of seeing the progression. Therefore they don't share the civic pride and don't share the same outlook as I do.
3) Competitiveness. You don't have to look far to see many, "MY city is better because..." arguments. Everyone wants to win. It may not be pride or personal connection that makes a slight towards your city offend you. It may simply be that you want your city to be better than that of the person making the comments. I find this to be very true on city-data. Many people just want to be able to say that their city/town/state is the best.
4) Understanding vs. lack of understanding. Similar to number 2. As a local, you take a keen interest in your city. You know the ins and outs of planning processes and plans for improvement. You know how long it took to get that rail stop, or how hard the city had to fight to get that park down by the waterfront. So when someone makes a slight or remark that belittles all of that effort, you get angry. "How dare they say that! They have no idea how long it took to get that here!" It's almost the same as if you spent weeks painting a portrait only to have someone with no artistic comprehension and ability come by and say, "meh... it's not that great." You know how much work went into it, and they don't have a clue.
5) Perspective. This is a big one and I learned this lesson the hard way. Whether you grew up in a small town in the Midwest or in New York City is going to play a big role in your outlook on things. I grew up mostly in larger metros (Boston, Washington DC and Providence RI). When I went to college in Portland, ME I was underwhelmed with the nightlife and dining options and this really rubbed some people the wrong way. For them, growing up in Maine, Portland was the pinnacle of all things urban. For me, it was a small seaside village. They were annoyed that I viewed it that way. The same works in the reverse. I used to hear people gripe about crime and traffic in Portland, ME. To me, those things were nonexistent. Compared to Boston or Washington (even Providence), crime was not an issue anywhere, and traffic wasn't an issue at all. Still, I got annoyed when people refused to drive in the city or wouldn't walk in a certain neighborhood at night. It was infuriating. And it's all because of different perspectives. For the record, Portland has an excellent dining scene for a city its size. The nightlife (while good by Maine standards) is still pretty weak. Traffic and Crime are non-issues in the city.
6) Envy. I think this one comes into play more than most care to admit. Especially here on city-data. I read a lot of posts where people type absurd things about other cities. These remarks are often simply to get under the skin of residents in target cities and they often work. The resident of the target city then gets frustrated and the back and forth ensues. On the flip side, being envious of where the person who is insulting your city is from can make you angry as well. This happens quite frequently here on city-data.
7) The need to publicly defend one's city. Again, big here on city-data. Since this forum is a relocation forum and a resource for people who are moving or vacationing, many of us (myself included) get upset at some of the remarks we see about our cities and feel the need to defend them. Not because we feel that we're "defending the honor" of our city, but because we don't want real, live people to get the wrong impression of our city because someone is grumpy and decides do go on an emotionally charged rant slamming the city. As much as the back and forth frequently degrades into immature bickering, the posts here DO have lasting implications. I've spoken with (and even met) a few people who have made decisions on where they live based on posts of mine that they've read and conversations we've had from right here on city-data. That's one BIG reason I get angry when some of the more negative things (assuming there's no truth to them) are posted about my area.
There are probably more, but that's long enough for now.
I see people in the south lumping all of NY, and people from there as NYC. lol.
New York City is seven to eight hours and a world away from Rochester or Syracuse. It would be like assuming all of Texas is made up of one city like Dallas.
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. A person would have to be pretty immature or naive to say ANY town or city is perfect. 
