Which city still has Old Fashioned Gentlemen? (private school, college)
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Does this exist anywhere? Frustrated with the dating scene in LA, there is almost a "women are disposable" attitude here that guys have here....no one wants anything more than quick "fun", and this extends well past the partying 20's. I've met guys in their 50s who are still living this way. Because they can.
This is probably a national thing these days, but there has to be other cities where the culture is not quite this hostile....?
Move to a mid-size city in the Midwest or South: Kansas City, Milwaukee, Nashville, Jacksonville, etc. Otherwise, move out into the suburbs of L.A. Sounds like you've been caught up in the hollywood scene. It's all hipsters and yuppies in there. The Southern California valleys are full of very friendly, laid-back natives.
How about San Diego? Due to the high male-to-female ratio, men work hard to keep their women since the women have plenty of options. That is why in SD, the women tend to have more of a "men are disposable" attitude.
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I find New Orleans men courtly in a very old-fashioned way. Check out the upstairs bar at Gallatoire's on a Friday afternoon and you'll see what I mean.
It could also be where it is that you're meeting these men. The odds of finding a person who is actually gentlemanly in bars is relatively low.
Could you tell us a bit about where you intend to go to meet them? The problem lies in perpetual adolescence. Western culture encourages that and certain places will attract the eternal adolescents.
A lot of this is my own fault, I admit. I am not as social as I should be; I don't have the greatest network. Hard to put in the effort, I work a lot. I do have friends, but we all work a lot/have little free time/some live on the other end of town (which may as well be Pluto due to the traffic here). Most of my friends are female, and experiencing the same issues with guys. They can't help me! Once in a while we go out, usually to nice restaurants or more mellow wine-bar type places, but we are never approached. We are attractive, but not in our twenties! So I end up relying on things like Meetup or online dating (ugh)--I do at least stick to the more reputable sites. I think though I've decided not to do that anymore. Even through Meetup I have met some serious predators/con men. Either than or the guys "disappear" because it becomes clear I won't go to bed immediately.
I have been toying with the idea of moving to New England...Boston maybe? Even though I hear people are not the friendliest. People often tell me I seem like an East Coaster. It seems like the ultimate contrast from here, culturally. You have Harvard instead of the entertainment industry, for example! There is a lack of intelligence here too, I have to say (don't I sound like a snob!) And it's not uncommon for guys to earn far less or ask women for money. I just want to be amongst "mature adults" who have their act together. I want to be treated like a human being, not a piece of--you know.
What's really crazy is I'm not even looking for marriage/family. I don't want kids. I don't want to cohabitate. I just want a long term relationship!
I'm probably generalizing a bit but I think Boston could be a good fit for you as there are many private school/boarding school educated men in the area who grew up differently than most men in the US in terms of being taught respect for others. My good friend is from the Boston area and many of her classmates from boarding school stayed in the area for college and work afterwards. They all fit the profile of what you're looking for and think Boston could be at least worth checking out. Good luck!
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