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Old 08-02-2012, 10:59 AM
Status: "Be yourself. What's the alternative?" (set 16 days ago)
 
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Is the friendliness of an area important to most people when choosing where to live? And, what really is it? You see many posters discussing it. Is it a casual friendliness people are talking about? Is it all perception or are certain areas really more "friendly"--whatever "it" is?
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Old 08-02-2012, 11:32 AM
 
Location: St Simons Island, GA
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I think so. I couldnt wait to move out of DC or south FL, mainly for this reason. Living with it day to day will wear you down.
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Old 08-02-2012, 12:31 PM
 
Location: South St Louis
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When moving somewhere new, wouldn't most anyone prefer to feel welcomed rather than ignored or shut out? I know I would. When you arrive in a new place, it's good to make connections. It's nice to know that the locals are open and receptive to newcomers. And it's extremely helpful to get tips and input from the people who know the area well. To me, this is the "friendliness factor" you talk about.
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Old 08-02-2012, 01:28 PM
 
Location: Tennessee
34,673 posts, read 33,676,768 times
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When I moved from Long Island NY to a town of about 24,000 in MD the MD clerk in the store called me "hon." I didn't know what to make of it until my then new MD co-worker who is still my good friend told me that's what they call people in the Baltimore/Annapolis area.

But 12 years later when I moved from MD to a town of about 27,000 in TN after I retired, the first thing I found out was everyone talks to everyone here about anything. People talk to you while you're in the Post Office. People talk to you when you are in line at Wal-Mart. People talk to you in the doctor's waiting room. They'll tell you they like something you are wearing or ask you about some food item you are buying. They'll talk about their kids or their boyfriends or their kid's teachers. They'll talk about travel. They'll talk about where they are from and where you are from. I like it.

Also, you can always tell a male native from a male transplant. The native men always hold the door open for you and they don't go through it first and then hold it (like they did in MD). They could be the scruffiest looking guy and they still hold the door. You go, "Thank you" and they respond "Yes, ma'am."

Now a funny story: The second day I was here in 2007, I needed to get some kitchen stuff at Wal-Mart that I didn't take with me from MD. It was the time that the Queen of England was visiting America. So, I'm on line at Wal-Mart on a weekday and there was an older couple (about in their 80s) in front of me. The wife picks up one of the tabloid newspapers and turns to me, a perfect stranger, and says, "Poor Laura (Bush). Don't you think it's awful that President Bush is having an affair with the Queen?" And she was really upset. I have to admit it took me awhile to respond to that one. But it just illustrates that people will talk to you about anything here.

But the difference between the friendliness in Tennessee and the lack of it when I visited Long Island 14 years after I had left was upsetting to me. In NY, people behind the counters don't even look at you nevermind talk to you. I ordered a slice of pizza (who doesn't when they return to NY) and the guy just flung the plate down on the counter and said the price. A woman in the supermarket at the register hemmed and hawed and acted like she expected me to pack my own groceries. When she realized that wasn't happening she seemed really perturbed that she might have to do her job. Meanwhile, in my supermarket in Tennessee they always ask me if I need help with taking my groceries to the car and putting them in the trunk. I never do but I've seen them help other people. I've had conversations with a post office clerk about their former home in Minnesota, a conversation with a woman patient at the eye surgeon about comfortable shoes. A kid at Kroger and the guy bagging for him telling me about his Harry Potter addiction. A woman was telling the whole crew of us waiting for our mammograms about some trouble her little kid was having in school the last time I was there. It's just different and I think it's nice.

And here's one that will really knock your socks off. The first time I had my car serviced in Tennessee at the Subaru dealership a couple of towns away, I requested to have my windshield wipers changed, along with the oil change, tires checked, etc. Didn't think anything of it. The people in the service department were very friendly when I was there. A few days later I get a phone call from them. It was raining. They wanted to know how my new windshield wipers were working out for me. I kid you not. I almost fell off my chair.

Had I never left Long Island, I wouldn't know there was nicer/friendlier people out there. I would have just accepted the status quo.
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Old 08-02-2012, 04:39 PM
Status: "Be yourself. What's the alternative?" (set 16 days ago)
 
8,675 posts, read 10,833,943 times
Reputation: 12722
Quote:
Originally Posted by LauraC View Post
When I moved from Long Island NY to a town of about 24,000 in MD the MD clerk in the store called me "hon." I didn't know what to make of it until my then new MD co-worker who is still my good friend told me that's what they call people in the Baltimore/Annapolis area.

But 12 years later when I moved from MD to a town of about 27,000 in TN after I retired, the first thing I found out was everyone talks to everyone here about anything. People talk to you while you're in the Post Office. People talk to you when you are in line at Wal-Mart. People talk to you in the doctor's waiting room. They'll tell you they like something you are wearing or ask you about some food item you are buying. They'll talk about their kids or their boyfriends or their kid's teachers. They'll talk about travel. They'll talk about where they are from and where you are from. I like it.

Also, you can always tell a male native from a male transplant. The native men always hold the door open for you and they don't go through it first and then hold it (like they did in MD). They could be the scruffiest looking guy and they still hold the door. You go, "Thank you" and they respond "Yes, ma'am."

Now a funny story: The second day I was here in 2007, I needed to get some kitchen stuff at Wal-Mart that I didn't take with me from MD. It was the time that the Queen of England was visiting America. So, I'm on line at Wal-Mart on a weekday and there was an older couple (about in their 80s) in front of me. The wife picks up one of the tabloid newspapers and turns to me, a perfect stranger, and says, "Poor Laura (Bush). Don't you think it's awful that President Bush is having an affair with the Queen?" And she was really upset. I have to admit it took me awhile to respond to that one. But it just illustrates that people will talk to you about anything here.

But the difference between the friendliness in Tennessee and the lack of it when I visited Long Island 14 years after I had left was upsetting to me. In NY, people behind the counters don't even look at you nevermind talk to you. I ordered a slice of pizza (who doesn't when they return to NY) and the guy just flung the plate down on the counter and said the price. A woman in the supermarket at the register hemmed and hawed and acted like she expected me to pack my own groceries. When she realized that wasn't happening she seemed really perturbed that she might have to do her job. Meanwhile, in my supermarket in Tennessee they always ask me if I need help with taking my groceries to the car and putting them in the trunk. I never do but I've seen them help other people. I've had conversations with a post office clerk about their former home in Minnesota, a conversation with a woman patient at the eye surgeon about comfortable shoes. A kid at Kroger and the guy bagging for him telling me about his Harry Potter addiction. A woman was telling the whole crew of us waiting for our mammograms about some trouble her little kid was having in school the last time I was there. It's just different and I think it's nice.

And here's one that will really knock your socks off. The first time I had my car serviced in Tennessee at the Subaru dealership a couple of towns away, I requested to have my windshield wipers changed, along with the oil change, tires checked, etc. Didn't think anything of it. The people in the service department were very friendly when I was there. A few days later I get a phone call from them. It was raining. They wanted to know how my new windshield wipers were working out for me. I kid you not. I almost fell off my chair.

Had I never left Long Island, I wouldn't know there was nicer/friendlier people out there. I would have just accepted the status quo.
You found the right place for yourself! I hear people say over and over how friendly Tenesseeans are.
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Old 08-02-2012, 06:29 PM
 
Location: The Heart of Dixie
7,816 posts, read 12,321,925 times
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Default New Jerseysians MOST unfriendly bunch I ever met

I find Baltimore pretty friendly (at least some of the suburbs) and I actually have many friends I met from being neighbors and seeing them out a lot.

Even visiting New Jersey was a shock. Going to Atlantic City was a terrible experience. I got into an elevator one morning at the hotel and there were a bunch of people there. I nodded and said "good morning" and NONE of the 6 or 7 people in there said anything. They stared at me like "why the hell are you talking to me". When one of the guys finally spoke to his family as we were all getting off the elevator in the lobby it was in an annoying New York/Long Island accent. When I played in Las Vegas and Kansas City everyone chats around the roulette table. So I sit down at a roulette table in Atlantic City and acknowledge everyone around me just to be polite, like people elsewhere do. Again they all just stare at me like I wasted their time.


One night me and 2 friends went to a nightclub in the hotel (The Tropicana btw) they refused to let us in because I wore a t-shirt and sandals and because my friend had a sports jersey and cammo pants. The door staff was very rude and condescending to us. We dress this way around Baltimore all the time and only once, at a fancier club downtown was I ever not let in and the staff there were polite about it. We went to another club in the Tropicana and I did karoke there and now I know I'm not the best singer but this was the first crowd I ever sang before that openly booed and ridiculed me and shouted profanity throughout. Many of them were frat boy types and guidos and many some princes and princesses from Long Island.

Now when we were about to leave the hotel we didn't know they had two parking garages....or maybe different entrances. The staff member was not very helpful or friendly. He told us that we should have paid better attention to our surroundings and just pointed in the direction of one of the entrances. We were not sure if it was the right one and he just said in a very mocking tone that we should walk up the garage from the bottom up and see if our car is there. At this point another hotel guest who did not have a Jersey or NY accent asked us what we remember seeing when we first got into the hotel from the garage and helped us figure out how to get back there.

Also, New Jersey had the rudest and most aggressive drivers I have encountered anywhere, followed closely by Los Angeles, Washington DC, and Miami.
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Old 08-02-2012, 08:27 PM
 
Location: Santa Barbara, CA
1,154 posts, read 3,963,764 times
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Friendliness is not really a factor for me. Folks are folks and there are good and bad apples everywhere. Even New Yorkers are usually friendly when you engage them one on one, just as friendly as Montanans.
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Old 08-03-2012, 06:37 AM
Status: "Be yourself. What's the alternative?" (set 16 days ago)
 
8,675 posts, read 10,833,943 times
Reputation: 12722
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tom Lennox 70 View Post
I find Baltimore pretty friendly (at least some of the suburbs) and I actually have many friends I met from being neighbors and seeing them out a lot.

Even visiting New Jersey was a shock. Going to Atlantic City was a terrible experience. I got into an elevator one morning at the hotel and there were a bunch of people there. I nodded and said "good morning" and NONE of the 6 or 7 people in there said anything. They stared at me like "why the hell are you talking to me". When one of the guys finally spoke to his family as we were all getting off the elevator in the lobby it was in an annoying New York/Long Island accent. When I played in Las Vegas and Kansas City everyone chats around the roulette table. So I sit down at a roulette table in Atlantic City and acknowledge everyone around me just to be polite, like people elsewhere do. Again they all just stare at me like I wasted their time.


One night me and 2 friends went to a nightclub in the hotel (The Tropicana btw) they refused to let us in because I wore a t-shirt and sandals and because my friend had a sports jersey and cammo pants. The door staff was very rude and condescending to us. We dress this way around Baltimore all the time and only once, at a fancier club downtown was I ever not let in and the staff there were polite about it. We went to another club in the Tropicana and I did karoke there and now I know I'm not the best singer but this was the first crowd I ever sang before that openly booed and ridiculed me and shouted profanity throughout. Many of them were frat boy types and guidos and many some princes and princesses from Long Island.

Now when we were about to leave the hotel we didn't know they had two parking garages....or maybe different entrances. The staff member was not very helpful or friendly. He told us that we should have paid better attention to our surroundings and just pointed in the direction of one of the entrances. We were not sure if it was the right one and he just said in a very mocking tone that we should walk up the garage from the bottom up and see if our car is there. At this point another hotel guest who did not have a Jersey or NY accent asked us what we remember seeing when we first got into the hotel from the garage and helped us figure out how to get back there.

Also, New Jersey had the rudest and most aggressive drivers I have encountered anywhere, followed closely by Los Angeles, Washington DC, and Miami.
I went to a dentist in Phoenix from Jersey. BOy, this guy was aggressive, sarcastic. Wow. I had relatives in New Jersey years ago, but don't remember them like that, to me anyways. I wouldn't go near the place myself. Very sarcastic, mean energy. Some people think that "telling it like it is" is an honorable trait, but I prefer common courtesy myself, even if it's phoney, as long as people can be pleasant to each other.
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Old 08-03-2012, 07:27 AM
 
56,539 posts, read 80,847,919 times
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It depends on many factors. I remember as a kid, my family was outside of Nashville and my dad asked for directions. He noticed that there was some Guy trying to silently discourage the clerk from giving my dad directions. On the other hand, my father has met really friendly people in the North Country region of Upstate NY when asking for directions. So, it can vary within regions too.
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Old 08-03-2012, 08:01 AM
 
Location: N26.03 W80.11
326 posts, read 828,039 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LovinDecatur View Post
I think so. I couldnt wait to move out of DC or south FL, mainly for this reason. Living with it day to day will wear you down.
I so agree with this. I used to absolutely love living in South Florida and at first was able to ignore the rudeness and angry people here. I thought they were anomalies. Now I often find myself dreading having to leave my apartment.

Everyone says they want to live somewhere where people are friendly, yet they keep moving to South Florida in droves. Perhaps one on one people are friendly here, but en masse? Not so much.

I've been following the Washington and Seattle forum pretty closely because my husband and I are contemplating a relocation to the PNW and a lot of people on those forums are discussing the Seattle freeze which I find a little amusing. It seems that people are hard to make friends with, but are in general polite, respectful and mannerly. What I wouldn't give for a little of that around here.
People, in general, in South Florida are not polite, not mannerly, not helpful, not respectful AND it's hard to make friends.
I suppose it could just be the transient nature of the area, but every year I'm here it gets harder and harder to muster up any enthusiasm about staying.
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