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Old 11-12-2016, 03:06 PM
 
Location: Wonderland
67,652 posts, read 60,572,966 times
Reputation: 101051

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Quote:
Originally Posted by That_One_Guy View Post
Of course they can. But not to the degree or frequency of other demographics. Let's be real and not pretend like it's equal on all sides because it's not. Not even close. That's the ugly, unfortunate truth.

I'm white myself, but I don't think a white person should comment on what's realistic or not in terms of another persons experienced with racism, since we really have no idea.
This white person has an idea, having been married to an African American for eleven years, and as the mother of four biracial, now adult, kids. Not only that, but my brother was adopted from Korea in the sixties, and I also have an adopted Korean grandson. And a Korean daughter in law. And a Hispanic son in law - Panamanian to be exact.

More white people than perhaps you realize have multicultural families and immediate family members who look nothing like them when it comes to skin tone, hair texture, etc. Surely you don't think that, for instance, a white grandmother, wouldn't be able to relate to racism if it was directed at her beloved grandchild, or at HER because she was out shopping with that beloved grandchild.

Not saying it happens often, because it doesn't - but when I was married to their dad, I did experience racism - and not just from white folks, but also from AA folks.

I also live in Texas and as a white person, I am actually in the minority in many areas. (In fact, Texas is a majority/minority state, meaning that white Non Hispanics make up less than 50 percent of the population.) I distinctly recall being on a business trip down to San Antonio and I attended a city council meeting. Well, guess what - the meeting was in Spanish. I couldn't understand a thing that was going on. Now, were the council members rude to me? No. But I did feel a bit odd sitting in a government building in the United States and not being able to understand the language or the business at hand. And no one offered to translate either. I was definitely left out of the meeting, which as I said was a city council meeting.

I wasn't offended as much as I was bemused. It was interesting to see things from a different perspective.

Anyway, I've never claimed that white folks have experienced the same level of racism as other groups - but let's not pretend that white folks can't or don't experience it because that's simply not true in many cases.
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Old 11-12-2016, 03:18 PM
 
Location: Manhattan!
2,272 posts, read 2,207,270 times
Reputation: 2080
Quote:
Originally Posted by KathrynAragon View Post
This white person has an idea, having been married to an African American for eleven years, and as the mother of four biracial, now adult, kids. Not only that, but my brother was adopted from Korea in the sixties, and I also have an adopted Korean grandson. And a Korean daughter in law. And a Hispanic son in law - Panamanian to be exact.

More white people than perhaps you realize have multicultural families and immediate family members who look nothing like them when it comes to skin tone, hair texture, etc. Surely you don't think that, for instance, a white grandmother, wouldn't be able to relate to racism if it was directed at her beloved grandchild, or at HER because she was out shopping with that beloved grandchild.

Not saying it happens often, because it doesn't - but when I was married to their dad, I did experience racism - and not just from white folks, but also from AA folks.

I also live in Texas and as a white person, I am actually in the minority in many areas. (In fact, Texas is a majority/minority state, meaning that white Non Hispanics make up less than 50 percent of the population.) I distinctly recall being on a business trip down to San Antonio and I attended a city council meeting. Well, guess what - the meeting was in Spanish. I couldn't understand a thing that was going on. Now, were the council members rude to me? No. But I did feel a bit odd sitting in a government building in the United States and not being able to understand the language or the business at hand. And no one offered to translate either. I was definitely left out of the meeting, which as I said was a city council meeting.

I wasn't offended as much as I was bemused. It was interesting to see things from a different perspective.

Anyway, I've never claimed that white folks have experienced the same level of racism as other groups - but let's not pretend that white folks can't or don't experience it because that's simply not true in many cases.
I have many biracial multicultural relatives as well, and I'm a minority in many parts of Brooklyn too. I live in NYC which is probably the most multicultural city in the US and possibly the whole world. I know what it's like to be a minority in many different neighborhoods too.

Maybe you have a better idea of this stuff than most white people, but my original comment was not even directed at you. It was directed at someone that was trying to claim OP was lying about the racism they experienced.

My original comment was saying that a white person in America should not be saying that somebody's personal stories of experiencing racism sound unrealistic since white people in general are not exposed to this stuff nearly as much, and when they are it's usually to a much lesser extent.

Last edited by That_One_Guy; 11-12-2016 at 03:31 PM..
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Old 11-12-2016, 03:23 PM
 
Location: Phoenix, AZ
7,178 posts, read 4,744,861 times
Reputation: 4851
Quote:
Originally Posted by MathiasRed View Post
I am a 25 year old British male of Libyan heritage currently residing in California and have been fortunate enough to live in a place where people accept all kinds of couples. Now I am in my mid 20s and work in finance and my fiance is a nurse. Since Libyans come in all colors from some looking very White to others looking as dark as Pakistanis, I wanted to specify. I am very dark for someone of my heritage and can be considered a visible minority due to my complexion. Spent most of my childhood and adolescence in England and came to America where I met a woman who is now my fiance.

My fiance is the exact opposite of me, she is of Swedish and German descent and is a tall blonde with blue eyes who was born and raised in California. Even here in California (more specifically San Diego), this is not something you see daily but people let us be. I don't think this commonly happens anywhere in the world let alone America.

The cost of living here in California is insane and has managed to get worse over the years. We have thought about moving elsewhere for a long time and have often visited prospective areas.

I am not that familiar with American culture let alone which areas are more tolerant and accepting. So far we visited 3 places and all 3 felt different.

We visited Oklahoma (more specifically Oklahoma City). When we were at a mall holding hands one man looked at my fiance and shouted "you shouldn't be with him!". We ignored him, he kept on venting for a few more minutes, and then stopped. Also had a lot of stares in our direction. Went to a restaurant there and the waiter came to our table, looked at us and said "what the" in an awkward way and then took our orders. He didn't seem too happy having us around.

We visited Atlanta which was not as hostile but not the same as California. In the city no one said anything until we headed out to the suburbs, there things got somewhat bad. Lots of stares and my fiance said that when I was leaving the restaurant and she stayed behind to check something one of the workers looked at her and said "he must have that oil money!" as he laughed. Outside of that an African American male I met there told me that the suburbs of Atlanta aren't the best place for the kind of couples we are. Not nearly as bad as Oklahoma City but still not near the level of California either.

We then visited Raleigh, NC which initially seemed great until we went to go eat at a restaurant there. One of the waitresses said "we don't commonly get many of your kind of couples around here" and then kept on questioning us about our relationship. She then said to my fiance right in front of me "he doesn't make you wear a hijab either, that is nice!". Then when we were visiting a museum there one middle aged woman looked at my fiance with a frown and shook her head.

In my years in California I have NEVER encountered anything like this. The visit to the 3 cities was very eye opening. Are there any places outside of California and NYC where people just don't care that much about who dates who?
Go to south Florida, specifically south of Orlando. NOBODY will care what you two look like. Your fiancé will make less money as a nurse and have to deal with higher acuity (she'll know what that means).

Phoenix, Arizona is OK too: it's so damn hot here you'll be lucky if somebody even looks at you. People tend to mind their own business. Don't be scared by people carrying guns. Even grandmothers carry guns in their bags. It's OK. It helps keep people in their place. In AZ your fiancé can obtain a good nursing position w/a good salary depending on experience. Our weather seasons are: kind of hot, HOT, and hotter than hell.

Minneapolis-St Paul might be OK but I don't know how much the Somalis will like you. I noticed some people are developing attitude since my last trip over there.

If you're a devout Muslim, go to Dearborn, Michigan.

Stay out of the "plains states", the Midwest (ex: Missouri, Indiana, etc), the south, Texas (you'll never feel like you belong there-it's a Texas thing), and states along Appalachian Mountains.

Basically you need a very large city that is diverse. Sorry you ran into people who don't know how to act.
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Old 11-12-2016, 03:32 PM
 
Location: Phoenix, AZ
7,178 posts, read 4,744,861 times
Reputation: 4851
Quote:
Originally Posted by KathrynAragon View Post
This white person has an idea, having been married to an African American for eleven years, and as the mother of four biracial, now adult, kids. Not only that, but my brother was adopted from Korea in the sixties, and I also have an adopted Korean grandson. And a Korean daughter in law. And a Hispanic son in law - Panamanian to be exact.

More white people than perhaps you realize have multicultural families and immediate family members who look nothing like them when it comes to skin tone, hair texture, etc. Surely you don't think that, for instance, a white grandmother, wouldn't be able to relate to racism if it was directed at her beloved grandchild, or at HER because she was out shopping with that beloved grandchild.

Not saying it happens often, because it doesn't - but when I was married to their dad, I did experience racism - and not just from white folks, but also from AA folks.

I also live in Texas and as a white person, I am actually in the minority in many areas. (In fact, Texas is a majority/minority state, meaning that white Non Hispanics make up less than 50 percent of the population.) I distinctly recall being on a business trip down to San Antonio and I attended a city council meeting. Well, guess what - the meeting was in Spanish. I couldn't understand a thing that was going on. Now, were the council members rude to me? No. But I did feel a bit odd sitting in a government building in the United States and not being able to understand the language or the business at hand. And no one offered to translate either. I was definitely left out of the meeting, which as I said was a city council meeting.

I wasn't offended as much as I was bemused. It was interesting to see things from a different perspective.

Anyway, I've never claimed that white folks have experienced the same level of racism as other groups - but let's not pretend that white folks can't or don't experience it because that's simply not true in many cases.
Next time you're in SAN Antonio, get up and politely ask them to speak English because you don't speak Spanish. They will accommodate you-no problem.

If somebody gets miffed, they'll get over it.
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Old 11-12-2016, 05:15 PM
 
Location: Wonderland
67,652 posts, read 60,572,966 times
Reputation: 101051
Quote:
Originally Posted by EDnurse View Post
Next time you're in SAN Antonio, get up and politely ask them to speak English because you don't speak Spanish. They will accommodate you-no problem.

If somebody gets miffed, they'll get over it.
Yeah, I would have done that when I was in that meeting, but I was the guest of someone else, and I knew it would pass.

I like San Antonio and I like Hispanic people in general - I wasn't offended but I did take note of the scenario.
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Old 11-12-2016, 05:19 PM
 
Location: Wonderland
67,652 posts, read 60,572,966 times
Reputation: 101051
Quote:
Originally Posted by EDnurse View Post
Go to south Florida, specifically south of Orlando. NOBODY will care what you two look like. Your fiancé will make less money as a nurse and have to deal with higher acuity (she'll know what that means).

Phoenix, Arizona is OK too: it's so damn hot here you'll be lucky if somebody even looks at you. People tend to mind their own business. Don't be scared by people carrying guns. Even grandmothers carry guns in their bags. It's OK. It helps keep people in their place. In AZ your fiancé can obtain a good nursing position w/a good salary depending on experience. Our weather seasons are: kind of hot, HOT, and hotter than hell.

Minneapolis-St Paul might be OK but I don't know how much the Somalis will like you. I noticed some people are developing attitude since my last trip over there.

If you're a devout Muslim, go to Dearborn, Michigan.

Stay out of the "plains states", the Midwest (ex: Missouri, Indiana, etc), the south, Texas (you'll never feel like you belong there-it's a Texas thing), and states along Appalachian Mountains.

Basically you need a very large city that is diverse. Sorry you ran into people who don't know how to act.
What?????

Five of the fastest growing cities in the US are in Texas - Fort Worth, Dallas, Austin, San Antonio, and Houston. Houston and Dallas/Fort Worth are especially diverse - and Houston has a very international flair in general.

Also, Texas is full of transplants - especially in the big cities.

Finally - the large cities in Texas have very good, and very prosperous, hospital and health care systems. Once again, Houston really dominates the Texas scene in that field.

I really don't understand your comments about Texas at all. I am not a native Texan but I've lived here for over 25 years. Never once have I experienced anything like "you'll never feel like you belong there - it's a Texas thing" and not only that, I have been welcomed as a "true Texan" for many years now. Texans are some of the most welcoming, hospitable people in the US - as long as you're not moving here talking smack about Texas.
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Old 11-12-2016, 06:21 PM
 
92,687 posts, read 122,997,895 times
Reputation: 18208
I can't believe another one of these "Brown male with a Blonde, White female " threads has lasted this long.
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Old 11-27-2016, 11:21 AM
 
72,874 posts, read 62,362,868 times
Reputation: 21825
One thing I have thought about in terms of interracial couples is this: It depends on what kind of interracial couple you are a part of. In the Atlanta area, I don't hear many horror stories about Middle Eastern/Anglo couples catching crap. Now, one is more likely to catch crap for being Muslim. I don't hear many horror stories regarding White male/Asian female couples or White male/Hispanic female couples. In fact, most of the Hispanic women that I personally know are married to White males. At least where I live anyway.

Now, from what I've noticed, Black male/non-Black female couples will catch more crap than anyone else. This is especially the case if it's Black male/White female couples. You'll find such couples because they are common place. However, it does not come without its struggles.

Consider this. Two members of the 2016 World Champion Chicago Cubs, Dexter Fowler and Jason Heyward appeared in an instagram photo with two White females. Dexter Fowler's wife, Jason Heyward's girlfriend. Both men received so much backlash for it, being two Black men with White women. And the comments weren't only from some White males with bigoted mentalities towards Blacks. There were Black women who were accusing both men of "self hate", and basically calling them sell-outs. It is rare to hear those kinds of comments to be said of Black females with White males. Look at the show Scandal. Look at the Swiffer commercial that had a Black wife with her White husband. No horrible reaction. White female with Black male in the Cheerios commercial(and a mixed child), and so many people lose their minds.

I will be blunt. Growing up, my opinion has been this. Upper Midwest(particularly Minnesota/Iowa) and Western USA posed the best places for interracial dating. And granted, the cities touted as the best places for interracial dating are: Denver, Seattle, Minneapolis, San Jose, San Francisco,etc. Some places will be better than others by comparison. It also depends on what kind of couple. Some couples encounter more problems than others.
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Old 03-20-2017, 06:47 PM
 
4 posts, read 7,421 times
Reputation: 10
Is Glen Allen,Va an nice place to live for a Black Man married to an White Woman. who is retired Navy and looking for a place in Glen Allen,Va that will be ok with seeing an interracial married couple.
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Old 03-20-2017, 07:24 PM
 
Location: Austin, TX
12,059 posts, read 13,839,832 times
Reputation: 7256
I'm a white male and have dated Asian, Latina, and Black women in Austin with no problems. Not sure the other way, YMMV.
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