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Old 07-14-2014, 05:06 PM
 
Location: Jacksonville, FL
11,145 posts, read 14,138,333 times
Reputation: 7075

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I have spent the past eight years discussing places on these forums. I have done enormous amounts of internet research, discussion and analysis. And I have traveled the country extensively (been to 42 states). I'm 30 years old and I still can't seem to find a place that seriously makes me want to move there long term. My home metro area is Hartford, CT. I know, I know.....it's a lame place. People are moving out to allegedly greener pastures on a daily basis. And I'm in a prime position to make my escape, being on month-to-month leasing and can leave anytime upon a 30-day notice.

But here's the problem: I can't seem to find a truly better place to live that (a) I'm genuinely interested in and (b) has good paying jobs in my field (corporate tax accounting). My field is rather specialized. It seems like every place either lacks jobs or doesn't interest me!

Years ago, I had my heart set on moving down south, to North Carolina or Atlanta or Florida or something like that. But after visiting them all, I just don't see the appeal anymore. I tried living in Charlotte and didn't like it. It felt too southern for me and I couldn't get used to the accents. These places have no soul and are just economic biomes with tons of plastic tract housing and boring strip malls. I can't stand places that are booming, with traffic and new construction all over the place. Makes me feel like I'm living in an economic experiment for some reason, and I don't like living in popular places. Places that are full of transplants, in my opinion, lack a strong identity and just have a generic vibe. Examples include: Charlotte, Raleigh, Atlanta, Dallas, Houston, Orlando, Phoenix, Las Vegas.

Now, last month I had traveled the West extensively and LOVED it. I loved the scenery more than anything you could imagine. It felt like heaven to me. I loved the lack of congestion, 70 mph speed limits, lots of public land and slower pace. I loved places like coastal Oregon, the Nevada desert, Idaho and eastern/central Washington. But there's one problem....those places have NO jobs! All of the jobs out west that pay well are in very populated, congested cities such as Seattle, LA, SF, Denver, Phoenix and the like. But I can't stand living in big cities and want a reasonable cost of living!

I have also considered the Midwest, but to be honest, outside of places like Chicago, virtually all Midwestern cities seem extremely provincial and not really the best place for transplants to fit in. It just seems like everyone is focused on family and marriage and sticks to their comfort zone.

I've also considered other parts of the Northeast such as upstate/west/central NY, but there are virtually no jobs there, except a few in Buffalo. And I have no interest in Pittsburgh because it's too big for me. I looked into Portland, ME, but again there are NO jobs! All the places I like have NO jobs.

So, in a nutshell, as lame as it sounds, I can't seem to find a place better than my home metro area of Hartford, CT. Most of my family is located there. There are plenty of good paying corporate tax accounting jobs that pay within scale with the cost of housing, albeit a bit high. The metro size of 1.2 million is nearly perfect for my tastes, and I don't like weather that is warm and sunny all the time because it bores me.

Also, one thing that I've learned is that you can't choose a place based on rigid criteria. You really have to get out and go there and get a vibe for it, in addition to knowing the facts about the place. For example, two years ago I planned to move to Denver, because it sounded great on paper, but when I got there, I wasn't impressed. I didn't like the vibe.

But how can this be? There has to be some place better. And I can't imagine living in the same place for my entire life.

Last edited by nep321; 07-14-2014 at 05:15 PM..
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Old 07-14-2014, 05:26 PM
 
Location: Center City
6,865 posts, read 7,813,769 times
Reputation: 9492
I've been to all 50 states, lived in 7 of them, and experienced them differently from you. Part of me even wonders if in your travels, you arrived with your eyes open or only with pre-concenved ideas. I lived in Kansas City and would hardly describe it as "extremely provincial' or a place where "everyone is focused on family and marriage and sticks to their comfort zone." I lived in Virginia and had no trouble getting used to the accents and the locals had no trouble getting used to mine. I spent 26 years in Houston, a city of transplants and made friends from all over the world. Alas, it seems your own perceptions, narrow set of conditions you can tolerate and your inability to appreciate differences has doomed you to a life in Hartford - a place I find deadly boring.

Looks like you'll just have to suck it up. Please accept my sympathies.
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Old 07-14-2014, 05:46 PM
 
Location: Jacksonville, FL
11,145 posts, read 14,138,333 times
Reputation: 7075
Quote:
Originally Posted by jm02 View Post
I've been to all 50 states, lived in 7 of them, and experienced them differently from you. Part of me even wonders if in your travels, you arrived with your eyes open or only with pre-concenved ideas. I lived in Kansas City and would hardly describe it as "extremely provincial' or a place where "everyone is focused on family and marriage and sticks to their comfort zone." I lived in Virginia and had no trouble getting used to the accents and the locals had no trouble getting used to mine. I spent 26 years in Houston, a city of transplants and made friends from all over the world. Alas, it seems your own perceptions, narrow set of conditions you can tolerate and your inability to appreciate differences has doomed you to a life in Hartford - a place I find deadly boring.

Looks like you'll just have to suck it up. Please accept my sympathies.
Well, I'm not really looking for an exciting, fun place to live. I couldn't care less about that. I lived in NYC and got bored of it after a year. I hate to break it to you, but EVERY place gets boring after a year or two. The so-called exciting places are almost always very expensive and congested anyway, which I can't stand.
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Old 07-14-2014, 06:24 PM
 
Location: East Coast of the United States
17,278 posts, read 19,572,199 times
Reputation: 13060
Quote:
Originally Posted by nep321 View Post
I have spent the past eight years discussing places on these forums. I have done enormous amounts of internet research, discussion and analysis. And I have traveled the country extensively (been to 42 states). I'm 30 years old and I still can't seem to find a place that seriously makes me want to move there long term. My home metro area is Hartford, CT. I know, I know.....it's a lame place. People are moving out to allegedly greener pastures on a daily basis. And I'm in a prime position to make my escape, being on month-to-month leasing and can leave anytime upon a 30-day notice.
I can relate to this. It sounds to me like you're pretty much in the same position I was, but with respect to the Washington DC metro area in my case. All I can tell you is that sometimes you go out in the world only to discover that your home region was the best fit for you after all.

Having read your posts elsewhere, I can suggest that you really focus on advancing your career. You know what that means, but I think you need to get your CPA. You need to make enough money so that the COL doesn't sting as much. Being near the bottom (or even in the middle) looking up is not the happiest place to be in. I know what it feels like as I was there myself once upon a time. Make it work out for you where you're living now.
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Old 07-14-2014, 06:35 PM
 
Location: Pittsburgh
3,145 posts, read 2,831,940 times
Reputation: 2858
I am the same way. I can't find "a home".

The cool towns I visited years ago have become too trendy. I am on a search now for cities that haven't been discovered.

As far as being bored, some cities are more boring than others.
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Old 07-14-2014, 07:04 PM
 
3,963 posts, read 3,499,632 times
Reputation: 6372
Anytime you have to decide something by using the word "seems" means you have no idea what you're talking about.
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Old 07-14-2014, 07:12 PM
 
Location: Jacksonville, FL
11,145 posts, read 14,138,333 times
Reputation: 7075
Quote:
Originally Posted by bluecarebear View Post
I am the same way. I can't find "a home".

The cool towns I visited years ago have become too trendy. I am on a search now for cities that haven't been discovered.

As far as being bored, some cities are more boring than others.
That's the thing that really bothers me, too. No matter what we do to change where we live, our home metro area will always be home, whether we like it or not. It's just a fact of life. Even if you move to a new area and like it, it doesn't change the fact that you're not from there. There's something valuable in being able to live in an area and to be able to say, "yeah, I'm from here." In other words, it's more desirable to be a native than a transplant. When someone moves from one place to another, they probably wish that they were native to that area instead of being a transplant. Obviously, there are situations in which people need to relocate due to job transfers or job offers or family reasons.

But this applies to anybody, not just me. Most people are going to be biased in favor of their home area, in general. I know many people who, after graduating high school or college, transplanted themselves to a new city, only to come running back home several years later, or even 10 or 15 years later. If people will just return to their home some day, then why bother relocating in the first place at all?

I think society in general imposes some sort of peer pressure upon young people to spread their wings and move away from their home area. Some will like the change; some won't.
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Old 07-14-2014, 07:23 PM
 
56,696 posts, read 81,017,273 times
Reputation: 12530
Quote:
Originally Posted by bluecarebear View Post
I am the same way. I can't find "a home".

The cool towns I visited years ago have become too trendy. I am on a search now for cities that haven't been discovered.

As far as being bored, some cities are more boring than others.
What are you looking for and what are those cities that you are referring to?
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Old 07-14-2014, 08:12 PM
 
Location: Minneapolis (St. Louis Park)
5,991 posts, read 8,324,206 times
Reputation: 4270
Then the solution is simple: stay where you are. Ta dah!
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Old 07-14-2014, 08:16 PM
 
Location: Jacksonville, FL
11,145 posts, read 14,138,333 times
Reputation: 7075
Quote:
Originally Posted by Min-Chi-Cbus View Post
Then the solution is simple: stay where you are. Ta dah!
But I'm bored of where I'm from!
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