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Old 07-21-2014, 09:04 AM
 
19 posts, read 16,458 times
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I am a male of east indian heritage and the girl I am in a relationship with is white, we are both in our mid 20s and have lived in small town Pennsylvania for the past 3 years. If it means much, we are both young, in shape, and got a lot of attention from the opposite sex when we were single. Life is pretty rough for us here in terms of us being out together. I have managed to get into a lot of confrontations when being out with my girlfriend and people have been openly racist towards us. Some people who were strangers have openly said racist things to her like how she shouldn't be with me and others have accused her for sleeping with the enemy (people say I look arabian for some reason due to my complexion).

Originally I am from Canada (Toronto) and even there couples like my girlfriend and I would be relatively rare. You don't often see a woman who is young, white, and attractive with an indian guy of all races. That said, I want to get an idea of where my girlfriend and I would not face much issues.

Some people have suggested that in areas where white girls are dating races perceived as more foreign (asians, latinos, arabs, or indians), we won't face much racism at all since it would be a common occurrence. So can someone tell me about areas where such would be common?
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Old 07-21-2014, 09:26 AM
 
Location: East Mt Airy, Philadelphia
1,017 posts, read 1,036,459 times
Reputation: 1791
Quote:
Originally Posted by The_HappyLover View Post
I am a male of east indian heritage and the girl I am in a relationship with is white, we are both in our mid 20s and have lived in small town Pennsylvania for the past 3 years. If it means much, we are both young, in shape, and got a lot of attention from the opposite sex when we were single. Life is pretty rough for us here in terms of us being out together. I have managed to get into a lot of confrontations when being out with my girlfriend and people have been openly racist towards us. Some people who were strangers have openly said racist things to her like how she shouldn't be with me and others have accused her for sleeping with the enemy (people say I look arabian for some reason due to my complexion).

Originally I am from Canada (Toronto) and even there couples like my girlfriend and I would be relatively rare. You don't often see a woman who is young, white, and attractive with an indian guy of all races. That said, I want to get an idea of where my girlfriend and I would not face much issues.

Some people have suggested that in areas where white girls are dating races perceived as more foreign (asians, latinos, arabs, or indians), we won't face much racism at all since it would be a common occurrence. So can someone tell me about areas where such would be common?
First, let me say that I'm sorry about your situation - "haters gotta hate" is glib, but contains a kernel or two of truth. People are going to be small-minded anywhere you live, and that's a shame. The good news is that the proportion of knee-jerk racists, homophobes, et al. is shrinking over time. Not very helpful for your current residency status, but for the longer-term, maybe there's reason to be optimistic.

In the here and now, however, if you don't want to move too far - Philly's a great choice. The Mt Airy neighborhood in NW Philly (and, I'm sure, other Philly 'hoods) is one where a mixed race, same sex or other "non-standard" couple can easily become part of the community. Being a Cowboys fan, though, would be pushing it

Good luck with your search, and again, I'm sorry (but not totally surprised) about the intolerant knuckleheads.
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Old 07-21-2014, 09:33 AM
 
Location: Oakland, CA
939 posts, read 1,260,545 times
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The obvious choice would be the West Coast, especially the Bay Area and Southern California. I'm sure you've heard the adage that Pennsylvania is Pittsburgh and Philadelphia with Alabama in between. The land of Mennonites and intelligent design in public schools. You might have some luck in bigger cities on the East Coast that have vibrant young urban professional scenes.

The alternative is to go back to Toronto where you can be treated like a precious exotic gem of multiculturalism rather than a person. I spent college and some of my teen years there, so I know what it's like being non-White in the GTA.
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Old 07-21-2014, 09:37 AM
 
56,508 posts, read 80,803,243 times
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This the same theme just couched in a different way. Come on, man!
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Old 07-21-2014, 09:44 AM
 
19 posts, read 16,458 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by FrankInPhilly View Post
First, let me say that I'm sorry about your situation - "haters gotta hate" is glib, but contains a kernel or two of truth. People are going to be small-minded anywhere you live, and that's a shame. The good news is that the proportion of knee-jerk racists, homophobes, et al. is shrinking over time. Not very helpful for your current residency status, but for the longer-term, maybe there's reason to be optimistic.

In the here and now, however, if you don't want to move too far - Philly's a great choice. The Mt Airy neighborhood in NW Philly (and, I'm sure, other Philly 'hoods) is one where a mixed race, same sex or other "non-standard" couple can easily become part of the community. Being a Cowboys fan, though, would be pushing it

Good luck with your search, and again, I'm sorry (but not totally surprised) about the intolerant knuckleheads.
Thanks!

I will look into Philly and Pitt even.
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Old 07-21-2014, 09:48 AM
 
19 posts, read 16,458 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by usuario View Post
The obvious choice would be the West Coast, especially the Bay Area and Southern California. I'm sure you've heard the adage that Pennsylvania is Pittsburgh and Philadelphia with Alabama in between. The land of Mennonites and intelligent design in public schools. You might have some luck in bigger cities on the East Coast that have vibrant young urban professional scenes.

The alternative is to go back to Toronto where you can be treated like a precious exotic gem of multiculturalism rather than a person. I spent college and some of my teen years there, so I know what it's like being non-White in the GTA.
Oh no I am not going back to Toronto, something tells me Canadians are a lot less accepting of interracial relationships that involve white women with men of my background. There is a reason you never see the Punjabis in Toronto with white girlfriends and wives, and I mean never.
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Old 07-21-2014, 09:49 AM
 
21,180 posts, read 30,336,326 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by usuario View Post
The obvious choice would be the West Coast, especially the Bay Area and Southern California. I'm sure you've heard the adage that Pennsylvania is Pittsburgh and Philadelphia with Alabama in between. The land of Mennonites and intelligent design in public schools. You might have some luck in bigger cities on the East Coast that have vibrant young urban professional scenes.

The alternative is to go back to Toronto where you can be treated like a precious exotic gem of multiculturalism rather than a person. I spent college and some of my teen years there, so I know what it's like being non-White in the GTA.
I agree, while Philly and Pittsburgh might have some clusters of tolerance/progressiveness I wouldn't say so much overall. Besides the west coast the NYC metro (NY/NJ) and DC-Baltimore corridor are far more along and would offer many more choices without the "being on an island" effect of PA. I think the comfort level would even be higher in cities like Boston and Chicago which tend to skew more heavily WASP than the other cities mentioned.
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Old 07-21-2014, 09:56 AM
 
19 posts, read 16,458 times
Reputation: 22
Can you guys possibly tell me in what cities you have been to where you met couples that were close to me and my girlfriend? Maybe tell me of their experiences perhaps.
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Old 07-21-2014, 10:24 AM
 
56,508 posts, read 80,803,243 times
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College towns should work too. Again, I've seen Indian guys with White wives in my area before. (Shrug)
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Old 07-21-2014, 10:26 AM
 
19 posts, read 16,458 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ckhthankgod View Post
College towns should work too. Again, I've seen Indian guys with White wives in my area before. (Shrug)
What area might that be?

Also I noticed that some posters have posted on this before but I want to assure you that I am not some guy with multiple accounts. The problems my girlfriend and I run into are real and I do not want you or anyone to feel that they are trying to help out a troll or someone who obviously has some issues to work out. Not all college towns are created equal, the place where Penn State is, well, it isn't such a happy valley for all.
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