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Problem: I've loved Chicago for 11 yrs but it is increasingly difficult to make close friends and meet dating potentials (possibly a symptom of age). People from Chicago seem to have a close circle of friends they tend not to deviate from. I've been pretty independent here. The dating market is completely saturated which I think has it's own detriments. Also, I think I'm ready to get to the next step in my nonprofit career. So, I see moving as an opportunity to shake up routine.
I have family I miss in Philadelphia. None in Chicago. And, close friends spread all over the US.
Need Advice: I'm open to hearing thoughts on any US city you guys think might compliment a single 35-yr-old woman with a decent career path, appreciation for creativity and need for social interaction.
My skills in nonprofit can translate to corporate work so I don't feel stymied by NPO history.
Problem: I've loved Chicago for 11 yrs but it is increasingly difficult to make close friends and meet dating potentials (possibly a symptom of age). People from Chicago seem to have a close circle of friends they tend not to deviate from. I've been pretty independent here. The dating market is completely saturated which I think has it's own detriments. Also, I think I'm ready to get to the next step in my nonprofit career. So, I see moving as an opportunity to shake up routine.
I have family I miss in Philadelphia. None in Chicago. And, close friends spread all over the US.
Need Advice: I'm open to hearing thoughts on any US city you guys think might compliment a single 35-yr-old woman with a decent career path, appreciation for creativity and need for social interaction.
My skills in nonprofit can translate to corporate work so I don't feel stymied by NPO history.
Thanks!
Quote:
Originally Posted by projectmaximus
Why not Philly?
Philly is like Chicago in that respect. Many of the younger professionals seemingly grew up together, went off to Penn State together and moved back to Philly as a cohesive unit. Some of the Philly boosters will probably appear with contradictory posts within a few minutes, but that was my experience and observation over eight years of living there recently. Not to mention the singles scene in Philly skews much younger than 35. Given the OP's age, professional lifestyle, desire for creative outlets and non-profit skills along with ability to transition to corporate life would suggest the DC metro area which is ground zero for the non-profit world and has a very sizable singles population more geared toward her age group, not to mention a much stronger job market/economy. DC has a better social scene in my opinion as few are from there and you don't find that provincial mindset of Philly or Chicago. The inner ring suburbs of Arlington (Courthouse/Clarendon/Virginia Square area) and Alexandria (Old Town is wonderful along with neighboring DelRay) in Virginia, either downtown Bethesda and downtown Rockville in Maryland or my personal recommendation of DC itself in neighborhoods like Friendship Heights, Tenleytown, Cleveland Park or Glover Park would be ideal (and safe) places to live in terms of access to work, social life and creative outlets plus world class public transit.
Location: Pittsburgh (via Chicago, via Pittsburgh)
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I honestly would not use this as a reason to move, with all due respect. I don't think moving will help you in your endeavor for more friends and dating potential. Join some clubs, use sites like meetup.com, get out there. That is really the only way to make friends and meet potential mates. I went through this before (probably more than once) in my life, and really the only way out of it is to get out there and meet people. You're lucky, you live in a city with millions of others around you. That increases your pool a lot. Location could be a valid reason if you lived in a tiny Nebraska town or something, but moving from one huge city to another isn't going to solve anything. By all means move if other reasons drive you to move to a new city (work, etc), but I would warn doing something as drastic as moving just to try and meet friends. You have TONS of potential friends around you right now, just get out there!
Like another poster, I am wondering why not Philly since you have family you miss here. Care to explain?
As for this post:
Quote:
Originally Posted by kyle19125
Philly is like Chicago in that respect. Many of the younger professionals seemingly grew up together, went off to Penn State together and moved back to Philly as a cohesive unit. Some of the Philly boosters will probably appear with contradictory posts within a few minutes, but that was my experience and observation over eight years of living there recently. Not to mention the singles scene in Philly skews much younger than 35.
I agree with some of what kyle says. Philly's population is pretty insular compared with some other cities I've lived in. I will even take kyle's stereotype one step father and joke that not every one left for Penn State. Some attended Temple. But we have been extremely happy in the 3+ years since we moved here from transplant-centric Houston, certainly a friendly city and also one where it is rare to meet a native. In Philly, one might think that such long ties among friends would lead to social circles that exclude us non-natives. We have not found that at all - in fact, quite the opposite. We've made lots of friends in Philly and found people we meet very friendly and open with invitations. But then, we put ourselves out there. We knew that if we moved here and then sat inside waiting for people to knock on our door because they wanted to meet us, we'd have a long wait. As for the dating scene - no clue if kyle is right or not. I am considerably older and married, so couldn't offer first-hand insight. Folks we do know who are 35 and above, however, express no more frustration about the dating scene here than did our friends of similar age in Houston. So that's been my experience. Not sure if that makes me a "booster" or not in kyle's eyes. If so, then I guess I am.
But back to you: You would have a much different experience moving back to Philadelphia as a native than we did moving here as transplants. You have family you seem ready to re-connect with and it is not unreasonable to see you falling back into familiar social circles given, if they are like most Philadelphians, the friends you grew up with are still in the area. This could be a positive or a negative in your eyes, however, and may account for the reason you have opened this thread rather than making what would appear to be a logical move back to Philly. It's easier to be the person you are now rather than the person you used to be if you don't have a lot of people around reminding you of your old persona.
That said, I think this poster has the most salient point:
Quote:
Originally Posted by ForYourLungsOnly
I honestly would not use this as a reason to move, with all due respect. I don't think moving will help you in your endeavor for more friends and dating potential. Join some clubs, use sites like meetup.com, get out there.
I have lived in 7 states and in settings ranging from an un-air-conditioned trailer in the middle of a peanut patch in Suffolk, VA (long story) to a high-rise condo in the middle of Center City Philly, along with pretty much everything in between. In each place, I made friends, and I suspect that if I found myself living in Chicago I'd make friends there as well. If you wanna come back to Philly to be around family and friends, I get that. If, however, you think moving to another city will be the answer to your social life (say DC, Boston, Austin or Paducah), may I humbly suggest you first do an assessment of what is working and not working for you in Chicago. Once you have that in hand, honestly consider how much of that is because of the city and how much is because of the choices you are making in how you live your life there. I suggest this because if more of the problem is due to your choices, merely changing venues will likely lead to more of the same frustration.
Most everywhere will get a bit more troublesome after age 35 or so, just the way everything works. I know plenty of single 35 year olds, many of them new to Chicago who are making friends, but it's just NOT going to be the same as when you're in your early 20's and fresh out of college where everyone your age is unmarried, looking for friends and wants to go have fun.
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