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Old 08-05-2014, 01:27 PM
 
Location: Between amicable and ornery
1,097 posts, read 1,450,737 times
Reputation: 1468

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I understand the thinking about telling our kids to respect their elders but some adults aren't elder worthy. I wouldn't trust some people to watch my dog much less my children. As a parent I teach my children to think for themselves and listen to adults...within reason. this is a different time and sometimes the people we think we love don't have our children's best interest in mind. For example molesters, or even an abusive step-parent. Its hard for adults imagine being a child. I get you though. It seems like you've spent a long time with your family but don't have any power to parent. This is where it seems the mother has dropped the ball. If he's the only one not respecting you she needs to deal with that with you on a united front. He has lots of anger. Do yall go to the gym or play ball together? Usually a common interest builds a foundation.
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Old 08-05-2014, 01:32 PM
 
47 posts, read 48,101 times
Reputation: 37
Play ball? He does nothing but play vid games. Doesn't want to do anything. Lazy lazy lazy.
Unless I sit and play vid games with him. He is the only one obese. Doesn't want to eat right. Eats junk food 24/7.

He told his brothers to go mow neighbors yards,get paid and give him the cash.
He will jump in bed with is when we cuddling and sleep. Then we stop cuddling . He sleeps one end. Mama in the middle and me at the other side.
Mama thinks its okay
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Old 08-05-2014, 02:23 PM
 
421 posts, read 467,258 times
Reputation: 390
A) you have a terrible name calling attitude about him. Hey, I am a step mom and raised nieces and nephews. Easy...nope. But if you have this attitude about a kid, it will get through to the kids.

B) if you are serious about sorting this out, therapy. Get help for you all. Its not an easy situation. The vast majority of people couldnt do it smoothly. Get help blending your family if you want this to work. (We did. More then worth it)
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Old 08-05-2014, 02:26 PM
 
421 posts, read 467,258 times
Reputation: 390
Quote:
Originally Posted by ostritch View Post
Play ball? He does nothing but play vid games. Doesn't want to do anything. Lazy lazy lazy.
Unless I sit and play vid games with him. He is the only one obese. Doesn't want to eat right. Eats junk food 24/7.

He told his brothers to go mow neighbors yards,get paid and give him the cash.
He will jump in bed with is when we cuddling and sleep. Then we stop cuddling . He sleeps one end. Mama in the middle and me at the other side.
Mama thinks its okay
Granted, mom needs to lay down some limits. A therapist can help her learn how and what is ok. But perhaps...his behavior like this means he isn't totally ok with have a dad figure around? Ya think? He is a KID, not a lazy fat jerk. He is reacting to a hard life...sounds like a very difficult life. He needs love and structure and someone to pump him up, not put him down. I feel really sickened by your attitude about him. I bet he does too.
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Old 08-05-2014, 02:32 PM
 
571 posts, read 992,347 times
Reputation: 1450
Quote:
Originally Posted by ostritch View Post
So I can work work work and provide. They ask me to drop them off at city pool,or take them to the park,or drop them off at their friends houses, I work and provide and I can't ask them to clean dishes as I cook?
so if I have my week off and she's working, I'm supposed to clean house and cook and laundry and serve dinner without expectatioon of asking a 13 year old to clean dishes he dirtied??

I think your girlfriend has to play a larger role in this. It is she who needs to talk to the kids beforehand and set up appropriate, rational expectations. It is not going to work if the two of you are not on the same page. It's going to be challenging even if you are on the same page - and it doesn't sound like you are.

I'm sure there are lots of details we don't know about your situation, but from what you wrote, I find it a bit odd that you took your girlfriend on a walk when you knew she was talking to her sister. I understand you need time together, but taking her on a walk in mid conversation is odd. And the fact that she continued the conversation with her sister throughout the walk is strange, too - she should have told you that it wasn't a good time. It seems that she cannot tell you what she wants and doesn't want to make waves. And clearly, you have a tough time telling her your thoughts, too.

Maybe you two need to talk to a professional to get on the right road. This doesn't sound like it's going to end well.
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Old 08-05-2014, 06:33 PM
 
506 posts, read 263,165 times
Reputation: 316
Move this to the parenting or the relationships forum.
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