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Old 09-11-2014, 06:28 PM
 
Location: Boston Metrowest (via the Philly area)
4,478 posts, read 7,553,211 times
Reputation: 4371

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mandalorian View Post
The Boston-Washington DC area.
Not true at all -- Boston, New York and Philly areas have tons of affable/sociable people; in fact, some of the most sociable people you'll ever meet come from these cities.

For DC, however, unfortunately I'd agree. At least in the city itself, there is a strong vibe of aloofness that I've never experienced anywhere else. It almost feels populated with androids, at times.
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Old 09-11-2014, 06:40 PM
 
Location: Silicon Valley
18,162 posts, read 23,153,414 times
Reputation: 35457
I think that if you don't want people asking about your personal business, then you should first of all move to a big city. In a small town, people will be aware of you and want to know about you, and they will do everything they can to elicit information out of you. That was my experience moving to a small mountain town of 200 people from the SF Bay Area. I HATED it.

So, once you're in that big city, you move into a large apartment complex that is not designed to be a "community" where they have events and whatnot for the tenants. A community like that will have more people who will try to befriend you in your building, because it's a "community." But, if you move into a large apartment complex with no community stuff going on, it will be easy to come and go without as much interaction.

And if you don't frequent places where you are expected to socialize, then all you need to learn is how to deal with people who are trying to be friendly in random places, like the store while waiting in line, or whatever. And with your neighbors in the apartment building.

Then, you learn a list of things to say that don't give out any personal information. And you don't ever answer your apartment door to anyone. Your landlord will have your phone number. Anyone else will be some nosy or needy neighbor.

Don't get eye contact with your apartment neighbors. If someone says something to you just, look away and keep walking. Soon they will think you're weird or autistic or something, but they will stop trying to befriend you. If you smile and are nice, they will keep trying to be your friend.

This is only if you have weird neighbors like me lol. I had to learn this the hard way.

In the grocery store, you can just smile and nod. Normally, people will talk about themselves anyway. If their idea of conversation is to ask about you, quickly ask them about themselves. Say, "Oh, I'm boring, what do YOU do for a living, or whatever." Get them talking about themselves. You'll be out of the store in no time.

The trick is to not engage. What I've learned here in my senior "community" full of nosy neighbors, is to say, "I'm not feeling social today, have a good day!" and keep walking. Weirds them out, but I can get away. Or, "I'm on a mission, gotta go!" if they try and snag me as I'm walking my dog in or out of the building.

As I say, the trick is to not engage. The easiest way to do that is to not get eye contact, and not respond at all. They'll think you're weird and maybe scary, but they'll leave you alone.

Truly, this can be accomplished anywhere. But, in a small town, they will be relentless. Easier to do in a big city.

Good luck.
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Old 09-11-2014, 11:06 PM
 
Location: Illinois
596 posts, read 654,319 times
Reputation: 710
Quote:
Originally Posted by NoMoreSnowForMe View Post
I think that if you don't want people asking about your personal business, then you should first of all move to a big city. In a small town, people will be aware of you and want to know about you, and they will do everything they can to elicit information out of you. That was my experience moving to a small mountain town of 200 people from the SF Bay Area. I HATED it.

So, once you're in that big city, you move into a large apartment complex that is not designed to be a "community" where they have events and whatnot for the tenants. A community like that will have more people who will try to befriend you in your building, because it's a "community." But, if you move into a large apartment complex with no community stuff going on, it will be easy to come and go without as much interaction.

And if you don't frequent places where you are expected to socialize, then all you need to learn is how to deal with people who are trying to be friendly in random places, like the store while waiting in line, or whatever. And with your neighbors in the apartment building.

Then, you learn a list of things to say that don't give out any personal information. And you don't ever answer your apartment door to anyone. Your landlord will have your phone number. Anyone else will be some nosy or needy neighbor.

Don't get eye contact with your apartment neighbors. If someone says something to you just, look away and keep walking. Soon they will think you're weird or autistic or something, but they will stop trying to befriend you. If you smile and are nice, they will keep trying to be your friend.

This is only if you have weird neighbors like me lol. I had to learn this the hard way.

In the grocery store, you can just smile and nod. Normally, people will talk about themselves anyway. If their idea of conversation is to ask about you, quickly ask them about themselves. Say, "Oh, I'm boring, what do YOU do for a living, or whatever." Get them talking about themselves. You'll be out of the store in no time.

The trick is to not engage. What I've learned here in my senior "community" full of nosy neighbors, is to say, "I'm not feeling social today, have a good day!" and keep walking. Weirds them out, but I can get away. Or, "I'm on a mission, gotta go!" if they try and snag me as I'm walking my dog in or out of the building.

As I say, the trick is to not engage. The easiest way to do that is to not get eye contact, and not respond at all. They'll think you're weird and maybe scary, but they'll leave you alone.

Truly, this can be accomplished anywhere. But, in a small town, they will be relentless. Easier to do in a big city.

Good luck.
Whenever you are around people, just look like you are really busy and short on time. Even act a little frustrated and people will leave you alone.
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Old 09-12-2014, 06:10 AM
 
21,266 posts, read 30,535,410 times
Reputation: 19757
[quote=Duderino;36461033
For DC, however, unfortunately I'd agree. At least in the city itself, there is a strong vibe of aloofness that I've never experienced anywhere else. It almost feels populated with androids, at times.[/QUOTE]

I agree and would attribute it not so much to the people, rather the environment which tends transient and people just seemingly don't strive to make as much effort to get to know one another. I don't agree with the thought process however, especially given the fact that being kind to one another doesn't require much effort or depend upon how long you plan on living there.
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