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Old 11-18-2014, 10:17 AM
 
11 posts, read 14,898 times
Reputation: 22

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Hi all!

It is hard to explain our situation and the conditions but my wife and I are having a really tough and hard time figuring out what to do and which route to go.
Lets start with the first things; my wife is here in Phoenix Arizona but originally she is from Ohio.
I have moved from southern Bavaria, Germany on a K1 Visa, got married, whole immigration process, etc. etc.
She is a mother and does have joint legal custody of a 5 year old daughter. Since the first days that I met my wife she always wanted to move out of AZ and PHX. Always. I encouraged her to do so because she seemed to be a much happier and healthier person back in Ohio.
Of Course I want my wife to be happy and healthy. But. The biological dad of her daughter does live in Phoenix as well and has been granted shared parenting time and visitation rights.So far so good. He sad that he won't take us to court if we decide to move out of state. We just need to make sure that her daughter does have her visitation rights, shared parenting time and that we share travel expenses. We all agreed to that equally. No Problems.
The daughter misses her grandma and granddad back in Ohio for sure as well.

The past months my wife and I were prepping to move out of state. We have good friends in TN and PA, close to the OH border where her relatives live. So we would have gotten support.

Last month my wife got a job promotion. More money + stay at home job + benefits. She can move everywhere WITHIN the state of Arizona. What a dilemma for us. Of course she took the job because of the benefits.

Both her and I are dealing with depressed phases because we can't take this environment. I am from the northern Alps and Ive had my own property, horses, forest and water spring back in Germany. I am used to a much much much different environment. It literally makes me depressed. I am into a lot of hobby farming and gardening topics. Permaculture. Etc. Its my passion. Besides that my career is that of a trained IT Business Administrator. Yet at the same time my wife loves her independence and her job. She does have her own little business, too.

My wife said, ok then lets watch out for property up in Flagstaff. Ive prepped and lived with the hopes and goals of moving outta here for quite some time and because of that job now, everything seems to be lost...

My wife does have these issues of saying yes to moving out of state... prepping the move, something happens and then she says NO. And both of us aren't happy about that. Switching back and forth...

Now we feel lost, stuck, desoriented... and I am kind of very confused about this situation... I can't even fall asleep anymore. Its bad.

I don't know what to do...
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Old 11-18-2014, 10:53 AM
 
78 posts, read 102,248 times
Reputation: 81
Ohio/Alps and Phoenix - what a complete contrast.. Can your wife look for an other Job in Ohio or anywhere in the Midwest? Also since you mentioned that it's a work from home job, can she work out of Ohio?

Unfortunately the only way out I see is you and your wife getting jobs in OH or the Midwest and moving there.. Cities like Columbus or Cincinnati will have plenty of IT Administrator jobs for you if you look..
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Old 11-18-2014, 10:56 AM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
43,428 posts, read 41,960,974 times
Reputation: 83432
How long have you been married?
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Old 11-18-2014, 10:57 AM
 
11 posts, read 14,898 times
Reputation: 22
Thank you for your response. No she can't leave Arizona due to company policies. She can live anywhere within the states of AZ. She loves her job. But not the state. I don't like Arizona either due to my background and my life goals... we were looking for jobs in the Midwest, also property is a lot more cheaper than Flagstaff/AZ....
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Old 11-18-2014, 11:53 AM
 
Location: Baton Rouge, Louisiana
173 posts, read 197,602 times
Reputation: 134
Quote:
Originally Posted by RebelK View Post
Hi all!

It is hard to explain our situation and the conditions but my wife and I are having a really tough and hard time figuring out what to do and which route to go.
Lets start with the first things; my wife is here in Phoenix Arizona but originally she is from Ohio.
I have moved from southern Bavaria, Germany on a K1 Visa, got married, whole immigration process, etc. etc.
She is a mother and does have joint legal custody of a 5 year old daughter. Since the first days that I met my wife she always wanted to move out of AZ and PHX. Always. I encouraged her to do so because she seemed to be a much happier and healthier person back in Ohio.
Of Course I want my wife to be happy and healthy. But. The biological dad of her daughter does live in Phoenix as well and has been granted shared parenting time and visitation rights.So far so good. He sad that he won't take us to court if we decide to move out of state. We just need to make sure that her daughter does have her visitation rights, shared parenting time and that we share travel expenses. We all agreed to that equally. No Problems.
The daughter misses her grandma and granddad back in Ohio for sure as well.

The past months my wife and I were prepping to move out of state. We have good friends in TN and PA, close to the OH border where her relatives live. So we would have gotten support.

Last month my wife got a job promotion. More money + stay at home job + benefits. She can move everywhere WITHIN the state of Arizona. What a dilemma for us. Of course she took the job because of the benefits.

Both her and I are dealing with depressed phases because we can't take this environment. I am from the northern Alps and Ive had my own property, horses, forest and water spring back in Germany. I am used to a much much much different environment. It literally makes me depressed. I am into a lot of hobby farming and gardening topics. Permaculture. Etc. Its my passion. Besides that my career is that of a trained IT Business Administrator. Yet at the same time my wife loves her independence and her job. She does have her own little business, too.

My wife said, ok then lets watch out for property up in Flagstaff. Ive prepped and lived with the hopes and goals of moving outta here for quite some time and because of that job now, everything seems to be lost...

My wife does have these issues of saying yes to moving out of state... prepping the move, something happens and then she says NO. And both of us aren't happy about that. Switching back and forth...

Now we feel lost, stuck, desoriented... and I am kind of very confused about this situation... I can't even fall asleep anymore. Its bad.

I don't know what to do...
I really feel for you. I love the cold weather too but here I am stuck in the hot humid South because my husband's family is here and he likes it. Luckily we are planning to move somewhere colder by next spring, but the economy is terrible and i'm afraid I won't find a good job. Try to keep your head up and stay focused on your goals for the future, which is to move somewhere you will both enjoy. Maybe you can find a high paying job in another state, which would help convince her that you will be okay financially if you do decide to move.
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