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You know, where people are actually accountable to their neighbors, and people look out for one another?
If so, where?
I see you live in Albuquerque in what is probably a newer construction neighborhood where people come/go by car in/out through their garages. We have similar communities here in Florida and it's like that here in many areas as well where people generally don't socialize with their neighbors. In general any area in NM or FL where you have the older, established communities with sidewalks, smaller lots and front doors set closer to the street you'll find much more of a "community feel" and would suggest taking that approach versus classifying by a city.
I don't think you should look for this on a "city" level. Think more in terms of neighborhoods.
I know where we live, we speak to our neighbors often and there are sometimes impromptu B.S. sessions out by someone's mailbox. We live in an older neighborhood where most of the garages are older and used more as "sheds". Our neighborhood is also more of the type that attracts people who don't want the "garage in front suburbia" type of neighborhood.
Maybe parts of the South are friendlier, and have warmer climate that lends itself to more backyard BBQs and such. Not sure where you are presently living.
I share your frustration, though, with the lack of accountability overall in our culture and the "me first" isolation that our society seems to treasure these days.
The more homogenous a place is, the better a community feel
Pgh or somewhere in New England probably.
When there is only one culture its easier to come together IMO
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