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Old 12-23-2014, 03:20 AM
 
4 posts, read 6,209 times
Reputation: 11

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Hello! I'm sure this topic has been posted before, but I'm looking for some different perspectives here. The question: what do you think is the best U.S. city for an openly gay 25-year-old single professional?

I'm originally from Providence, RI, and although I don't want to rule out my native New England, I'm curious to know what other parts of the country are best for gay men? For me, it isn't just about a good "scene."

Thank you in advance for your input, it's very well appreciated. :-)

-S.
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Old 12-23-2014, 05:11 AM
 
3,955 posts, read 3,487,388 times
Reputation: 6331
As an openly gay single male professional who's lived in a lot of places in this country I say it's all about attitude. There are almost no places I'd say wouldn't be good, except for obvious rural places and that really has more to do with a lack of other like minded individuals because there just aren't many gays to connect with. The problem I have with threads like these is that they categorize some places as "it", while marginalizing other places as unworthy. How can other places ever become attractive to sub-cultures like gays if people like us don't stick around to help make them that way. However not wanting to split hairs I think you're looking for the typical albeit cliche "gay trendy" list. Without further ado:

Obviously your native New England is well regarded, below is the list of every stereotypical gay friendly city.

"The mother ships where gayness was invented, tested, and perfected"
San Francisco
LA
New York

"The hipster bearded muscle haven"
Chicago
Portland OR
Twin Cities

"The 40k millionare, everyones trying to look like a catalog model cities"
Houston
Dallas
Phoenix
Tampa/Orlando
(most sunbelt cities)

"The social justice, hippy gay cities"
Every cliche midwestern college town
and Denver, and Seattle, and Ashville.

The up and coming gay havens
Milwaukee, Louisville, Grand Rapids ect...

The Rust Belt chic gay cities (OMG this neighborhood has so much potential!)
Cleveland, Buffalo, Pittsburgh
(honorable mention to Detroit)

The cowboy gay cities (they don't care if you're gay just put a big rimmed hat on)
Insert Oklahoman and or Panhandle metro area here.

Point is don't move somewhere just because you're gay I'm sure there are TONS of other awesome things about you. Move somewhere that fits you for a multitude of reasons. If there is a city that suits you and it does not have a suitable gay culture, be part of the change. Make it what you want. Also places will surprise you. When I moved to Grand Rapids I was blown away by how much I liked it, from what I expected. The same holds true for Louisville when I moved here. So many awesome places you can miss out on, if you have such narrow search criteria. However if it is important to you, noone can hold that against you either.
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Old 12-23-2014, 09:29 PM
 
Location: Reseda (heart of the SFV)
273 posts, read 269,282 times
Reputation: 381
San Francisco, California
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Old 12-23-2014, 09:54 PM
 
Location: Jacksonville, FL
11,145 posts, read 14,113,945 times
Reputation: 7075
Quote:
Originally Posted by mjlo View Post
As an openly gay single male professional who's lived in a lot of places in this country I say it's all about attitude. There are almost no places I'd say wouldn't be good, except for obvious rural places and that really has more to do with a lack of other like minded individuals because there just aren't many gays to connect with. The problem I have with threads like these is that they categorize some places as "it", while marginalizing other places as unworthy. How can other places ever become attractive to sub-cultures like gays if people like us don't stick around to help make them that way. However not wanting to split hairs I think you're looking for the typical albeit cliche "gay trendy" list. Without further ado:

Obviously your native New England is well regarded, below is the list of every stereotypical gay friendly city.

"The mother ships where gayness was invented, tested, and perfected"
San Francisco
LA
New York

"The hipster bearded muscle haven"
Chicago
Portland OR
Twin Cities

"The 40k millionare, everyones trying to look like a catalog model cities"
Houston
Dallas
Phoenix
Tampa/Orlando
(most sunbelt cities)

"The social justice, hippy gay cities"
Every cliche midwestern college town
and Denver, and Seattle, and Ashville.

The up and coming gay havens
Milwaukee, Louisville, Grand Rapids ect...

The Rust Belt chic gay cities (OMG this neighborhood has so much potential!)
Cleveland, Buffalo, Pittsburgh
(honorable mention to Detroit)

The cowboy gay cities (they don't care if you're gay just put a big rimmed hat on)
Insert Oklahoman and or Panhandle metro area here.

Point is don't move somewhere just because you're gay I'm sure there are TONS of other awesome things about you. Move somewhere that fits you for a multitude of reasons. If there is a city that suits you and it does not have a suitable gay culture, be part of the change. Make it what you want. Also places will surprise you. When I moved to Grand Rapids I was blown away by how much I liked it, from what I expected. The same holds true for Louisville when I moved here. So many awesome places you can miss out on, if you have such narrow search criteria. However if it is important to you, noone can hold that against you either.
This is actually an excellent post. I'm 30, gay and professional myself. I'm from the Hartford, CT area and started my life/career in NYC. I had a great gay social life there, but the city life just wasn't for me, so I moved back to CT and would never return to NYC. You really have to do what's best for YOU, within reason of course. I wouldn't recommend any young gay guy to move to some rural or lightly populated area, because you'll just be miserable.

If you do like big city life, then go for it. Go to NYC. Go to LA. Go to Chicago. Or wherever. If you prefer smaller cities that are more similar to Providence, then maybe try something like Grand Rapids or Indianapolis or Columbus.

Personally, I've come to despise gay culture in general. It shouldn't define who you are or what you have to like. And if you follow that philosophy, you are more likely to end up living around other like-minded gay guys. Too many young gay men make that mistake and think they have to live in NYC or Boston or LA or wherever. It's sad. I've seen some guys who were "normal" end up becoming very "gay cultured" later on. They lost their natural masculinity and demeanor and interests in favor of "being part of the crowd." Please don't take that route. Be yourself. Go for what you want.

Also, from my experience gay life in big cities is exhausting and demoralizing. It's very competitive and it isn't any easier to find a boyfriend at all. Everyone expects perfection and just waits for the next best thing.

Last edited by nep321; 12-23-2014 at 10:14 PM..
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Old 12-23-2014, 10:06 PM
 
5 posts, read 5,460 times
Reputation: 13
Atlanta
San Fran
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Old 12-23-2014, 10:39 PM
 
Location: St. Louis
2,483 posts, read 2,223,013 times
Reputation: 2353
Quote:
Originally Posted by urbanite25 View Post
Hello! I'm sure this topic has been posted before, but I'm looking for some different perspectives here. The question: what do you think is the best U.S. city for an openly gay 25-year-old single professional?

I'm originally from Providence, RI, and although I don't want to rule out my native New England, I'm curious to know what other parts of the country are best for gay men? For me, it isn't just about a good "scene."

Thank you in advance for your input, it's very well appreciated. :-)

-S.
I mean, you can find a city in every region of the country that would be fine. Is there anything in particular that you're looking for?
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Old 12-23-2014, 10:41 PM
 
Location: St. Louis
2,483 posts, read 2,223,013 times
Reputation: 2353
Quote:
Originally Posted by mjlo View Post
"The hipster bearded muscle haven"
Chicago
Not really. Not in the 20 something bars in Boystown anyway. Lots of twinks and gay bros in tanks, maybe with a little scruff, but not really a bearded hipster haven.
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Old 12-23-2014, 10:45 PM
 
1,640 posts, read 2,046,833 times
Reputation: 2543
I grew up in North Providence, and I live in Long Beach, CA, which is, arguably, one of the most open, tolerant, diverse, integrated, accepting cities in the entire nation. Long Beach has a vibrant gay scene and hosts one of the largest gay pride parades in the country. It's a pretty laid-back town, and that goes for the gay scene as well. LA is right next door for more employment opportunities, big city amenities, and an even larger, although highly compartmentalized, gay scene concentrated in West Hollywood and spanning outward to Silver Lake, Pasadena, etc. However, after West Hollywood, Long Beach is probably the biggest LGBT population center in the LA basin. I don't think you could go wrong.
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Old 12-23-2014, 10:52 PM
 
Location: Pittsburgh
3,144 posts, read 2,825,168 times
Reputation: 2858
Quote:
Originally Posted by mjlo View Post
As an openly gay single male professional who's lived in a lot of places in this country I say it's all about attitude. There are almost no places I'd say wouldn't be good, except for obvious rural places and that really has more to do with a lack of other like minded individuals because there just aren't many gays to connect with. The problem I have with threads like these is that they categorize some places as "it", while marginalizing other places as unworthy. How can other places ever become attractive to sub-cultures like gays if people like us don't stick around to help make them that way. However not wanting to split hairs I think you're looking for the typical albeit cliche "gay trendy" list. Without further ado:

Obviously your native New England is well regarded, below is the list of every stereotypical gay friendly city.

"The mother ships where gayness was invented, tested, and perfected"
San Francisco
LA
New York

"The hipster bearded muscle haven"
Chicago
Portland OR
Twin Cities

"The 40k millionare, everyones trying to look like a catalog model cities"
Houston
Dallas
Phoenix
Tampa/Orlando
(most sunbelt cities)

"The social justice, hippy gay cities"
Every cliche midwestern college town
and Denver, and Seattle, and Ashville.

The up and coming gay havens
Milwaukee, Louisville, Grand Rapids ect...

The Rust Belt chic gay cities (OMG this neighborhood has so much potential!)
Cleveland, Buffalo, Pittsburgh
(honorable mention to Detroit)

The cowboy gay cities (they don't care if you're gay just put a big rimmed hat on)
Insert Oklahoman and or Panhandle metro area here.

Point is don't move somewhere just because you're gay I'm sure there are TONS of other awesome things about you. Move somewhere that fits you for a multitude of reasons. If there is a city that suits you and it does not have a suitable gay culture, be part of the change. Make it what you want. Also places will surprise you. When I moved to Grand Rapids I was blown away by how much I liked it, from what I expected. The same holds true for Louisville when I moved here. So many awesome places you can miss out on, if you have such narrow search criteria. However if it is important to you, noone can hold that against you either.
I'm laughing. Great post with comments. Though, it could also be used for straight people too. The cities that should also be considered are Atlanta, New Orleans, and Savannah. Careerwise, Atlanta.
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Old 12-23-2014, 10:53 PM
 
Location: Pittsburgh
3,144 posts, read 2,825,168 times
Reputation: 2858
Quote:
Originally Posted by PerseusVeil View Post
Not really. Not in the 20 something bars in Boystown anyway. Lots of twinks and gay bros in tanks, maybe with a little scruff, but not really a bearded hipster haven.
I've never thought of Chicago as hipster. Which is a good thing.
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