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Old 05-03-2015, 05:52 PM
 
6,611 posts, read 6,930,504 times
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Are there any clubs or sports there you could be involved in? Larger cities have gay sports organizations like soccer, volleyball, softball, rugby, tennis, swimming, running, billiards, bowling, outdoors/camping, etc. There are also social clubs like book clubs, auto clubs, etc. These things are great for making instant friends because you immediately share a common interest. Most sports clubs have divisions for beginners if you haven't played before.
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Old 05-03-2015, 05:55 PM
 
Location: Chicago
297 posts, read 401,389 times
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I vouch for living in a gay mecca (Chicago right now for me but there's quite a few). In my experience -- I find that I can not only be out but also be flamboyant and cute when I want. But also at least here there's like a ton of guys that are in the "I'm a normal person who just happens to be gay" mode so there's plenty of room for that. I've had the absolute worst luck in the dating universe you could possibly imagine but that's not the city's fault--being here I can at least try to meet more guys. And it's a safe place where I feel like I can own and appropriate and grow into who I am and not worry about bigotry/homophobia/etc. I have a double major and God willing will be working on/earning a Masters in the next few years and I seriously doubt that I will ever plan-to-not-live/not live in a very gay friendly area ever again. Barring of course the universe doing crazy stuff #pleasebenicetomeuniverse :-)

OP sounds like a classic Edgewater/Rogers Park/Andersonville/Evanston guy even with the winters b/c there's the lake and nature and the neighborhoods are surprisingly forested. San Diego maybe for the OP? They even have special military nights in Hillcrest.

An interesting thought I really haven't considered/put much thought into--similarities between gay meccas/gayborhoods vis--vis other cities/areas. ie the gay bubble -- Boystown having much more similarities with WeHo/Hillcrest than Wrigleyville/etc. Anybody wanna chime in on that aspect?
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Old 05-03-2015, 06:31 PM
 
Location: Jacksonville, FL
11,145 posts, read 14,132,244 times
Reputation: 7075
Quote:
Originally Posted by Swandaddy View Post
I vouch for living in a gay mecca (Chicago right now for me but there's quite a few). In my experience -- I find that I can not only be out but also be flamboyant and cute when I want. But also at least here there's like a ton of guys that are in the "I'm a normal person who just happens to be gay" mode so there's plenty of room for that. I've had the absolute worst luck in the dating universe you could possibly imagine but that's not the city's fault--being here I can at least try to meet more guys. And it's a safe place where I feel like I can own and appropriate and grow into who I am and not worry about bigotry/homophobia/etc. I have a double major and God willing will be working on/earning a Masters in the next few years and I seriously doubt that I will ever plan-to-not-live/not live in a very gay friendly area ever again. Barring of course the universe doing crazy stuff #pleasebenicetomeuniverse :-)

OP sounds like a classic Edgewater/Rogers Park/Andersonville/Evanston guy even with the winters b/c there's the lake and nature and the neighborhoods are surprisingly forested. San Diego maybe for the OP? They even have special military nights in Hillcrest.

An interesting thought I really haven't considered/put much thought into--similarities between gay meccas/gayborhoods vis--vis other cities/areas. ie the gay bubble -- Boystown having much more similarities with WeHo/Hillcrest than Wrigleyville/etc. Anybody wanna chime in on that aspect?
Well, like I said, I'm not into gay culture or being out, open and obvious in public, etc.

I think that the extra large gay meccas (NYC, LA, Chicago) might be just as challenging for dating as it is in a small city. Too many guys and guys are just too busy with their everyday lives. As I have noted before, when I lived in NYC, it was fairly easy to make friends, but pretty hard to date someone for more than a few dates. I think mid-sized metros might be better.
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Old 05-03-2015, 07:58 PM
 
6,611 posts, read 6,930,504 times
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Originally Posted by nep321 View Post
Well, like I said, I'm not into gay culture or being out, open and obvious in public, etc.

I think that the extra large gay meccas (NYC, LA, Chicago) might be just as challenging for dating as it is in a small city. Too many guys and guys are just too busy with their everyday lives. As I have noted before, when I lived in NYC, it was fairly easy to make friends, but pretty hard to date someone for more than a few dates. I think mid-sized metros might be better.
What do you mean by "out open and obvious in public"? Who is? I think most people are just themselves and not acting in any certain way.
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Old 05-03-2015, 09:31 PM
 
Location: Lakewood OH
21,697 posts, read 23,676,966 times
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Originally Posted by nep321 View Post
Well, Minervah....then why is it that the gay population of CLE metro is literally half of what it is in Columbus metro, even though both metros are about the same size (based on what I see on internet dating sites)? To me, that's a red flag.
No idea, but as I said, if you perceive this is a problem, don't choose Cleveland. Move on and chose a place that suits you better. I don't know how many times I have to say it. My problem with you on this is that you wasted a lot of people's time on the Cleveland forum asking many, many totally non-related questions to the gay scene in Cleveland. You brought up all kinds of arguments and nit-picky comments about Cleveland when people tried to help you with your questions that eventually caused so much annoyance on that usually mellow forum it got your thread shut down.

Now it looks like you are trying to do the same thing here with this question especially. Trying to stir up yet another hornet's nest.

Not going to take the bait. So bye, bye. I am done with this thread. I wish you good luck and good therapy.
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Old 05-03-2015, 10:10 PM
 
Location: Rochester, NY
1,129 posts, read 1,074,907 times
Reputation: 371
Nep:

Why are you low on Pittsburgh, Salt Lake City, Indy, etc? Cleveland does have direct flights to BDL, but United Airlines is severely cutting service, so who knows if they will still fly to Hartford. Still have an interest in the Buffalo/Niagara Falls Area? Would you consider staying in CT?
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Old 05-03-2015, 10:11 PM
 
Location: Hampden, Bawlmer
49 posts, read 49,835 times
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Take up residence in a bath house, many of them rent rooms.
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Old 05-03-2015, 10:42 PM
 
6,611 posts, read 6,930,504 times
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Originally Posted by mr. politically incorrect View Post
Take up residence in a bath house, many of them rent rooms.
My, what a nasty comment. Familiar with bath houses are we?
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Old 05-04-2015, 08:02 AM
PDF
 
11,386 posts, read 10,525,717 times
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Originally Posted by nep321 View Post
We both came to the conclusion that possibly as much as 80% of the native gay population moved out of CT by the time they reached 30 years old or much younger, even.
And you haven't. You could have been out of CT several years ago. Only yourself to blame here.
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Old 05-04-2015, 08:06 AM
 
Location: Jacksonville, FL
11,145 posts, read 14,132,244 times
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Originally Posted by PDF View Post
And you haven't. You could have been out of CT several years ago. Only yourself to blame here.
Well, living here was fine, throughout my 20's. But at this point, it's extremely stagnant, decaying and inactive.

The thing is...most of the gay meccas are places I have zero desire to live in (Chicago, Atlanta, Miami, etc.). Too crowded, too much traffic, too stressful, too big. I would literally be living there just for gay life. I really don't have the energy for a big city anymore.
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