U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > U.S. Forums > General U.S.
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 10-19-2015, 09:05 PM
 
539 posts, read 404,592 times
Reputation: 630

Advertisements

New York and LA are less family focused. Its not frowned upon or irregular to be in your 30s and not married with kids.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 10-21-2015, 11:59 AM
 
1,495 posts, read 1,517,198 times
Reputation: 619
Man I am in the exact same "life stage" if you will (mid 20's, no wife gf or kids and like to party on a bit more scaled back than in college but none the less still like to party). Its that awkward place where you don't want to be at the college bar with $1 Fireball shots on Thirsty Thursdays until 4am, but you also don't want to be at Ruths Chris either for a dinner than head home either.

IMO (and this depends on what your style is) I would avoid the hipster cities. Hipsters can be much more exclusive and cliquish than the former fraternity and sorority folks, especially once we all graduate and don't have our crew of fraternity brothers around but we still want to have a good time in a bit more of a refined way than we did in college (I was in a fraternity). Hipsters just from my experience, tend to be much more "adult" than they may come off as and in some cases, can be very snobby to someone who still wants to hold on to their adolescence a bit longer.

Also what is the point of not holding on to your adolescence if you can do your job well and don't have a wife and kids? Sure the 6am Thirsty Thursday nights or toga parties may need to be a thing of the past, but other than that, there is really no reason to feel like you have to be all "grown up" unless you have said wife and kids or it has a negative impact on your job (which it wont), thats the next life stage and there is no need to move on until those things come into play. So find a cool, laid back, not-snobby city, replace thirsty Thursdays with happy hour and Saturday Day Drinking by the pool, and enjoy!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-21-2015, 12:33 PM
 
1,998 posts, read 2,931,684 times
Reputation: 2150
Is it really true that most Americans, or at least those outside the larger cities like New York, LA or Chicago "frown upon" those who don't get married or have kids by 30 or later? Why are people so judgmental? How does my decision to not be a family person negatively affect anyone else, and why do they care? (I'm speaking hypothetically here. I actually am married and maybe could have a child soon, although I wasn't married by the time I hit 30. I just don't at all hold anything against those who don't want kids.)
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-21-2015, 12:54 PM
 
Location: New Orleans
2,322 posts, read 2,312,516 times
Reputation: 1572
Quote:
Originally Posted by stateofnature View Post
Is it really true that most Americans, or at least those outside the larger cities like New York, LA or Chicago "frown upon" those who don't get married or have kids by 30 or later? Why are people so judgmental? How does my decision to not be a family person negatively affect anyone else, and why do they care? (I'm speaking hypothetically here. I actually am married and maybe could have a child soon, although I wasn't married by the time I hit 30. I just don't at all hold anything against those who don't want kids.)
Kinda...I think a lot of people hold value in having a family and a house and the security that comes with it. That security for a lot of people=success. Especially, if you grew up that way.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-21-2015, 01:08 PM
 
Location: The middle of nowhere
8,962 posts, read 4,103,404 times
Reputation: 7651
Quote:
Originally Posted by stateofnature View Post
Is it really true that most Americans, or at least those outside the larger cities like New York, LA or Chicago "frown upon" those who don't get married or have kids by 30 or later? Why are people so judgmental? How does my decision to not be a family person negatively affect anyone else, and why do they care? (I'm speaking hypothetically here. I actually am married and maybe could have a child soon, although I wasn't married by the time I hit 30.)
That's more of an issue in religious/evangelical circles. Here in OKC, which is one of the most conservative places in the nation, if you are an evangelical Christian it's unusual and even raises eyebrows to not be married by age 22, let alone 30. In non-religious circles though there are no issues with still being single later, especially among the younger generation.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-22-2015, 08:18 AM
 
1,495 posts, read 1,517,198 times
Reputation: 619
Quote:
Originally Posted by stateofnature View Post
Is it really true that most Americans, or at least those outside the larger cities like New York, LA or Chicago "frown upon" those who don't get married or have kids by 30 or later? Why are people so judgmental? How does my decision to not be a family person negatively affect anyone else, and why do they care? (I'm speaking hypothetically here. I actually am married and maybe could have a child soon, although I wasn't married by the time I hit 30. I just don't at all hold anything against those who don't want kids.)
I live in SC and I wouldn't say it is frowned upon here but it is just not the norm. It's not necessarily that people look down upon someone who is not married by 30 (at least what I have seen). Now I mean family pressures can be a different story but I feel like that is really with anyone anywhere to a degree.

IMO I think that it is also something more internal with folks who are wishing to get married by 30 and are not. At 30, many of your friends have tied the knot or are about to and those friends are naturally going to move on to another stage of life than the one who is single including doing more things with other couples, stuff with kids if they have them, etc. A single person at that age, even if it is not intended, is left out of those things. Personally as a single 27 year old, I have experienced this with many of my very good friends which most are either married, engaged, or about to be engaged, and they actually invite me to stuff all the time but I end up playing like 7th wheel and its kind of miserable (even for a guy).

Being 27, I can't say I am depressed or anything at all because I still have 3 years to 30 and at least here, there are still plenty of single women my age or a little younger, but I do have to say if I do make it to 30 or much past, without at least a serious gf, I will feel pretty bad about it, not because of the fear of being judged, but because I will have far fewer options, and fewer friends to go out with or play wing man with.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-22-2015, 01:28 PM
 
Location: Tennessee
23,568 posts, read 17,544,804 times
Reputation: 27627
Maybe Las Vegas?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-22-2015, 03:05 PM
 
4,060 posts, read 4,462,157 times
Reputation: 2855
Quote:
Originally Posted by bawac34618 View Post
The hipster subculture is full of people like the OP though. People in their twenties who want to hold onto their adolescence for as long as they can. That's why they say Portland is where young people go to retire.
As much fun as it is to pick on hipsters, they were hardly the first generation/cohort in history with this mindset of not wanting to grow up "too fast."
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-23-2015, 07:25 PM
 
2 posts, read 1,774 times
Reputation: 10
My fear of college towns is actually with fraternities. I went to an SEC school and fraternities had a monopoly on everything related to partying and social life. Even jobs for bartender required you to practically be a fraternity brother or else you would not get hired at all. I also find that people in Greek Life that exists in college towns (not so much in other types of places) are very judgmental of someone wanting to party past college age. That and frat bros are not going to take too kindly to a handsome 26 year old guy getting attention from sorority sisters.

I honestly want to find places where there are others like me, out of college but still want to party, get drunk, and enjoy the casual sex. As much as I would love to party with college kids, I understand that American college kids are very cliquish and hate it when anyone past college age tried to party with them.

To whoever recommended Scotsdale, thank you!

I must ask though guys, what about Charleston?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-26-2015, 12:46 PM
 
1,495 posts, read 1,517,198 times
Reputation: 619
Quote:
Originally Posted by postgradbrad View Post
My fear of college towns is actually with fraternities. I went to an SEC school and fraternities had a monopoly on everything related to partying and social life. Even jobs for bartender required you to practically be a fraternity brother or else you would not get hired at all. I also find that people in Greek Life that exists in college towns (not so much in other types of places) are very judgmental of someone wanting to party past college age. That and frat bros are not going to take too kindly to a handsome 26 year old guy getting attention from sorority sisters.

I honestly want to find places where there are others like me, out of college but still want to party, get drunk, and enjoy the casual sex. As much as I would love to party with college kids, I understand that American college kids are very cliquish and hate it when anyone past college age tried to party with them.

To whoever recommended Scotsdale, thank you!

I must ask though guys, what about Charleston?
Charleston was going to be another suggestion it is a great post grad city but you do have the former frat scene there. Charleston has a much larger college scene than people think and downtown is pretty much all college kids and tourists but it is an awesome city though and plenty of post grads in a very much party atmosphere.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > U.S. Forums > General U.S.
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2019, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top