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CA is definitely more "blingy" than the East Coast. At the least, this is true when comparing LA and NYC metros. People in Corona del Mar or Malibu are more outwardly showy than people in Greenwich or East Hampton. It's hard to explain, but I think most people who have lived in both places know what I mean.
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Originally Posted by SeaDoo342
Clearly you haven't visited southern Connecticut.... wayyy too flashy and wealthy for me.
At least people in the wealthy communities around LA (e.g., Malibu, Manhattan Beach, Newport Beach, etc.) are, for the most part, polite, friendly and mild-mannered. The same DEFINITELY cannot be said of people in the wealthy communities in and around NYC, especially those in southern CT. In my experience, southern CT is home to, arguably, the rudest, unfriendliest, most arrogant collection of people in the entire country.
At least people in the wealthy communities around LA (e.g., Malibu, Manhattan Beach, Newport Beach, etc.) are, for the most part, polite, friendly and mild-mannered. The same DEFINITELY cannot be said of people in the wealthy communities in and around NYC, especially those in southern CT. In my experience, southern CT is home to, arguably, the rudest, unfriendliest, most arrogant collection of people in the entire country.
Don't disagree.... however many people in places like Corona try to APPEAR wealthy, whereas in people like southern CT are insanely rich (too rich if you ask me)... all Wall St money...
And usually if you come across a polite, CT housewife, it's all fake... she wants something from you, lol
Really? Who do you know in Manhattan who drives around town in a Ferrari or Bentley? That would be half my old neighborhood in OC.
Rich people in Manhattan take the subway or bus, for the most part. Really rich people get driven. They aren't tooling around town in flashy performance vehicles.
parking issues. Cultural thing. I think parts of NYC are showy, other parts aren't.
My experiences may provide insight from a different perspective…
I’m a Californian native and very proud of that birthright (most Californians are and will hold tight to its ownership). I was born in SoCal in the late 60’s and in the early 70’s my parents moved the family to the Bay Area (which to this day I still refer to as home).
In 1996 I moved to the DC metro area (Northern VA) as a single adult while in my late 20’s. I had always felt drawn to the East. I moved to VA a couple of years prior to the Tech boom so I witnessed firsthand much of Virginia’s virgin lands that had been resting in solitude for 100’s of years vanish in a blink with a land rush. Home builder cookie cutter homes popped up over night (just as I saw the vast amounts of orchards and farmlands in the Bay Area be consumed for the same purpose in the mid 1970’s and continues to this day).
I moved East for the experience, not knowing if I would return to CA. It is now 2016 and I’m still living in VA. I remain in love with her beauty, history and rich culture. However, my heart longs for many aspects of CA. I’m married now and we have one child, and together my husband and I have been discussing the consequences and options of moving back to CA (he too being a Californian, and having lived in the East including NYC).
The DC metro area is a love / hate relationship. The heavy traffic is now rated above that of Los Angeles. The commute into DC from the VA suburbs 30 miles West of the city is an easy 3.75 hours a day (having done this for nine years using public transportation). The cost to commute whether by car, train, metro or bus is very high. If a home owner has a goal to live inside the Beltway (a circle formed around DC that includes parts of VA and MD) you will be looking between $550K - $2.5m easily. While sales tax is relatively low in VA compared to CA (about 6%), the other costs of living is ever increasing and property taxes have been on the rise for the past decade. Public schools in Northern VA and parts of Maryland typically have a GSR of 8-10 which is very good and considered as some of the best and most progressive in the nation outside of Massachusetts. DC public schools are less desirable and have lower GSR ratings.
The people are for the most part transplants. I’ve have found very few VA natives during the twenty years I have lived here. Many professionals work for the military, the U.S. government, for a government contractor, an association or other nonprofit, or high-tech. Through 2000, VA overall typically voted conservative in national elections, while it often votes liberal in its State elections. The South remains conservative, but does not carry the number of votes as that of the north which is heavily populated liberal. Although VA is considered a southern State, the north does not resemble the Southern lifestyle. People are often very busy, work long days, move in a fast-pace, are professionally competitive, well-educated, and are health conscience. Although VA is family-friendly, you’ll find DC has become a single’s town, with resurgence to its neighborhoods and restaurant scene.
I read in some of the previous posts that the writers felt many or most Californians never leave CA, or don’t seem to know much about other parts of the country. Consider these thoughts (but first know that I am a rare breed of Californian having lived in South America for two years, lived in three States and traveled parts of the world all on my own accord (i.e. not due to my profession). Californians are not in a competition with any other state and just plainly love their State (as do many natives about their birth state). California has so much to offer by way of geography, history, diversity and culture that many people don’t find the need to go elsewhere. And, California is a very large State…the distance it takes to drive from San Francisco to San Diego is about the same if you were driving from Portland, ME to Baltimore, MD (crossing through seven States). I will tell you that when I first moved to VA I lived in Alexandria, VA, a heavy traffic area so I quickly relocated 15 miles West and was shocked that few locals new of my new area even though it was only minutes of Dulles International airport.
So, why would I move back to my native California, even with all of its political, financial and education problems (PS, did I tell you I’m a conservative – rare breed indeed!)? I miss the California Pacific coastline, its incredible beaches and the Pacific Northwest storms that blow into the Bay. San Francisco is one of the most beautiful cities in the world, and La Jolla is a true jewel. It’s no secret it’s one of the premier entrepreneur capitals of the world which draws many personality types and the food / produce scene is unlike any other state. VA is difficult to develop long-lasting relationships, yet I still have contact with those from my youth from CA.
Why would I remain in VA? I have come to love this wonderful state almost like my own. The Mid Atlantic, the East and its townships are beautiful and enchanting. VA is exactly as I had romanticized about her during the days of my youth, and she sits on hallowed ground with her civil war history. She is rich in architecture, education and recently in politics if you watch the national elections. Her seasons are breath-taking (in my opinion DC is the most beautiful city in the world during spring and VA follows closely behind). However, be advised…every person I know who has relocated East from the West eventually suffers from acute seasonal allergies and the humidity in the summer months often forces you in doors.
Whether you live in CA or somewhere in the East, isn’t it wonderful we have a large and beautiful country where we can cross State borders without incident to enjoy all aspects of our nation! Good luck in your decision. It’s a tough one for many who are versed living in other places.
Wonderful post. Live in VA now, am from Texas and definitely want to live in the west at some point.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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Quote:
Originally Posted by wander_x
Did you ever feel at "home" in California?
Never, I never "got" the people. There was way too much of a fake nice facade there.
Quote:
Originally Posted by wander_x
Was it a bittersweet move back east?
Yes, because I felt like I had failed.
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Originally Posted by wander_x
Do you miss it or are you happier now?
I miss the climate, but I'm happier now.
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Originally Posted by wander_x
What were your social relationships like in the west vs. east?
In New England they are deep an rich, in the Bay Area they were shallow and fleeting. Though, the best relationships I've made were while living in the Upper Midwest.
*I tried posting this on the CA forum but it didn't gather much response - maybe because most people still live in CA on that forum.
I'd love to hear some personal stories of moving to California from the east coast, living there for long enough to experience it fully and establish a life, and then moving back (not necessarily back to your specific hometown again, but just moving back east after spending time in the west).
We all know the usual culprits: moving back closer family, finding a job in NYC, escaping LA traffic or SF rental prices...but could you expand on that to encompass the overall "culture" or "feel" of the California way of life you experienced vs. the east coast way of life where you were from/went back to.
Did you ever feel at "home" in California?
Was it a bittersweet move back east?
Do you miss it or are you happier now?
What were your social relationships like in the west vs. east?
Do you feel different living on the east coast around people who never left to see the west?
Do you regret it and wish you stayed in CA?
I moved from Connecticut to California, and I lived in both Berkeley (San Francisco Bay) and Redondo Beach (LA), so I had two different California experiences as a result.
I never felt at home in the Bay Area. I always felt like a foreigner. I just wasn't liberal or hipster enough to make many friends, and I do not miss it at all. San Francisco Bay was also a dating dead zone for me.
In Redondo Beach, I did feel at home. I made some really good friends, and I met a couple of cool girls. My social life was really active. I miss it occasionally because my neighborhood was very walkable, and I was a block from the beach, which has great surfing. I miss playing beach soccer with my buddies in LA too.
It wasn't bittersweet moving back to the east for two reasons. First, I spent several years in Southeast Asia between California and moving back east. Second, when I moved back east I moved to Florida, so it was another new adventure. It would have been a real shame to have moved back to Connecticut.
I do not regret leaving San Francisco Bay because it was a bad fit for me. I don't regret leaving LA either because my next destinations were full of good times. I'm at a different stage in life now, so I can't compare because I was a young single guy in California and I'm married with a daughter now in Florida. I would move back to LA for a good job, but otherwise, I'm pretty happy in Tampa Bay.
This thread should really make *all* parties sympathize with pioneers who, having no means by which to flip back (on what is nearly a whim today), traversed the unknown to go to California, knowing full well that they would never return. I wonder if that made the decision somehow easier for them? Scientific studies have shown that when people know a choice is irreversible, they tend to be far more satisfied with the result no matter the circumstances - the finality of saying "this is it; I've made my bed and must sleep in it" helps ease the mind.
I'm in a somewhat different boat - divorce is obliging me to move back to New England from the PNW; there really is no other option at the present time. However, I have absolutely vowed that I will burst out of this cloud of confusion in my life and emerge like a blazing phoenix, to soar to the Bay Area. I love both coasts - New England, in particular, for its rich history, full seasons (amazing winters; you miss the snow in Seattle, even if you see it on the mountains), beautiful (and swimmable) beaches, and hard-bitten populace who wear their hearts on their sleeves.
By contrast, California is a far more superficial place; a land of extremes. I despise the politics (but I don't like them in New England or Seattle, either, so it's a wash) and the way the state is run, but marvel every time I'm there in spite of the flaws. There's a kind of lushness (well, when it actually rains) to the scenery that is unlike any place I've ever been. And I love that you can, in the span of a long day, bounce from beach, to valley, to plains, to high mountains, to enormous redwoods - I don't know if there's that contrast of biomes so closely nestled together anywhere else on Earth. One nice thing about California (and New England, too) in contrast to Seattle is it doesn't feel so friggin' hemmed in. Seattle is like an island, pinned between two mountains ranges and the sea - everyone is on top of each other, and there are too few towns; too little diversity in culture (and I have never seen ANYWHERE [LA and Washington D.C. included] with such wretched, ceaseless gridlock, complicated by a virtually non-existent wide-ranging mass transit system). Both New England and (the populated parts of) California feel more evenly settled - there isn't just a single strip of humanity stacked on top of itself.
I'll miss the winters here in the PNW (they have wicked good rain storms from time to time), but very little else. The me-first narcissism is exhausting... never before in my life have I lived some place where the people were so thoroughly convinced that they were the best slice of humanity anywhere else on earth; God's chosen people. In fact, I have come to regard Seattle - and PNW - living as rather hollow, built around great pronouncements and big ideas, but failing in the execution. It's all hipsters and highrises, but very little else. The mountains are beautiful, but also rather inaccessible to daily living. You wind up feeling like you are living in an aquarium, with great scenery printed on a picture taped to the back side.
Because of the circumstances of my removal, I am hesitant of heading back east... not because I hate New England, but rather due my desperation not to get stuck there. I just want to finish my degree, find a job, and parley that into a career somewhere in central CA. If there's a light at the end of this tunnel... my hope is that it's the warm Pacific Sun.
Last edited by PrincessoftheCape; 07-11-2016 at 07:17 PM..
I just did a 3 year stint in SF and moved back to DC. Just for reference, I grew up in Virginia, Maryland and Northern Florida. After HS I did college in VA and Chicago. After a few more years in Lakeview/Lincoln Park, Chicago > East Village/Union Sq, NYC > Midtown, Atlanta > Noe Valley/Russian Hill, SF > back to DC, specifically Shaw. I enjoyed living in all of them except Atlanta, which I personally made my shortest stint.
Did you ever feel at "home" in California?
Sometimes I did and at others times I didn't. I was comfortable and really enjoyed my stay but I didn't really ever adjust to the culture. I'm a bit of all of these but California (Norcal specifically) is just a bit too PC, liberal, vegan loving, some sort of marathon or hike freak, isolated and I wasn't all that into wine country. Like I said, I enjoyed it but I used to tell alot of my friends that I feel too "mainstream" for SF.
Was it a bittersweet move back east?
Not really, I felt like I was back where I belong. It's super hot right now but for some odd reason I'm enjoying having to adapt myself to each day's differences. Of course SF's consistent weather was a very nice to have but it did sometimes get a bit boring. I really really really enjoyed my first thunderstorm sitting on my balcony and looking out!
Do you miss it or are you happier now?
I'm happier now. I love the urban fabric of DC and the how interchangeable it is with NYC, as in people go back and forth all the time and I do as well for both work and personal, and the ability to quickly go almost anywhere else between Richmond to Boston. My friends and I hopped on the train and took a weekend trip to NYC last weekend and I just booked cheap flights to Punta Cana and Montreal for later in the year.
What were your social relationships like in the west vs. east?
I have really good friends in both coasts and they could be interchangeable as in which coast/city they live in. I will say I am more likely to find more people I "click" with in the DC/NYC area.
Do you feel different living on the east coast around people who never left to see the west?
Well, I've not yet experienced this. I don't know anyone who hasn't been to CA. DC does house a lot of people who travel for both work and personal and the populace is pretty well educated, which probably results in more travel (I think). Also, CA universities and companies have a lot of campuses here.
Do you regret it and wish you stayed in CA?
Nah, I'll definitely return to visit and have a great time with my friends but I don't regret moving here at all.
I grew up in Boston and have nownlived in Los Angeles for almost 9 years. I'm still in LA but plan to move back east as soon as my daughter graduates highschool in two years.
I was fortunate enough to have picked the right area of LA for our family. We moved to Topanga Canyon which is a small town a few miles up from the PCH and all of the gorgeous beaches. The beauty here in California is stunning and never gets old. Standing on the beach and looking out to the horizon and the mountains - it's just spectacular. And when my daughter was still young we could spend hours playing in the sand and searching tide pools and it was just so wonderful. And Topanga is a town that literally runs around the school and the kids. It is completely family and community oriented. It's full or artists and hippies and liberals. I honestly can't even remember the last time I saw a man in a suit. Between the hippie vibe up here and the beach vibe down below, we don't run into a lot of corporate America. Which I love. No one dresses up for school pick up or the grocery store and everybody here wants to participate in and help their community. It was extremely easy to be pulled into the community and find endless families to spend time with and be a part of. So many families here are transplants so people are always looking to connect and to help. Where we live is wildly expensive. Most families would not be able to live up here and so there is very limited diversity which has been a big challenge for me. But the quality and depth of relationships I've made for myself and my child have been so important that it sort of makes up for some of that. And even with all of this wonderful - I want to go back east. Here is why -
Though I have made wobd ful connections with wonderful people and hope to have them in my life always, nothing can compare with the connections I have on the east coast. Part of that has to do with growing up there but part of that has to do with some cultural differences. Like - you HAVE to be nice here. You have to speak calmly and with love all-the-time! If you don't, no one is going to tell you to quiet down or be nicer, they will just politely smile at you and try to move away. I grew up in Boston - in a big family - of yellers! I miss being able to have a difference of opinion where we both get too loud and dismiss each other's arguments! I miss when someone will tell you you're being an ass, instead of quietly thinking it but never saying it.
The Weather!! Yes it's true that I often find myself being amazed at how gosh darn PLEASANT it is here. And easy - you never have to put on layers and layers and find lost gloves and slosh through grimy melting snow piles while frigid air blasts you like little shards of glass. BUT - you almost never have any WEATHER! You don't get that absolutely incredible time in fall when the weather cools down and the leaves start looking different and you get that sort of musty fall scent in the air that brings to mind soccer games and going back to school and cider and sweaters. You never get that moment, that specific moment when the air changes and goes from thick and cool to thin and icy and you know - this is the moment winter has arrived. And you pull out your old favorite jacket and get a new pair of boots and wait for the snow. And then it comes full on and it's freezing and everybody is roasting things and boiling cider and when you walk home in the evenings, so cold and a little wet, and you round the corner and see the lights in your building glowing in the windows, steamy and yellow and the whole neighborhood smells like dinner and snow. And your heart skips a little at how excited you are to get inside and she's the layers and warm up with your family. And then the noreasters come and the blizzards and everyone is throwing little parties with specialty cocktails names after the storm and people are rushing to the grocery store to "stock up" before the storm. And we're all in it together. We're all cold and fighting cabin fever by hanging out together for movies and those roasted dinners.
Suddenly being in the ever pleasant always the same weather starts to work against community. It's starts to ebb away at the cozy feeling of home and community.
The SIZE! Los Angeles is like a enormous never ending city. I live on the westside, if I drive to my friends house on the east side, it is literally the equivalent of driving from Boston to New Hampshire. I'm always struck by that here - if I drove for as long as it takes me to get to my dentist out here, in Boston, I would literally be able to drive to another state. I hate that. And it effects relationships because you simply can not be bothered to drive an hour and forty minutes round trip just to go have a drink with a friend for two hours. And by the way - you can only have one drink - with food! Because you know you have to drive home. You can't take the bus or train and a cab is too much. Uber makes it a little more affordable but your looking at at least $15 each way - at least! And that doesn't include the cost of dinner and drinks and babysitter and the hours of travel. So you lose that day to day feeling with any friends whobdont live within your own community.
In Boston - my friends who live far away are usually not more than 5 miles from me. Here - my kids school, in my own town, is almost ten miles away. Don't ever be fooled into thinking things aren't incredibly far apart here - it's bigger than you think. And for me, that makes life too hard. I don't want Mike's and miles and miles to be part of my daily existence.
So to sum up this Incredibly long winded list
West coast is
Too big
Too pleasant
And too nice.
I do worry that I will miss it when I leave. There is an energy here that is nice to be part of and I do love a lot of things and people here.
But I have to live somewhere that changes and shifts. I've come to realize that when you live in a four season climate, it's like having built in permission to have a four season life. With ebbs and flows. With time outside in the sun and time inside with the shades drawn and the lamps on. You get to have days of low energy on the couch watching movies and connecting with friends. It's harder to have those times of quiet and calm and hibernation when the sun is blaring into your windows and the birds are chirping and the sprinklers going - almost every day of the year.
And I have to be in a community that expects me to tell sometimes or be an ass.
I'm actually planning to move to New York instead of back to Boston....it's like the anti LA.
I better stop now...but I will update in a couple years when I move back east. This is too long for me to go back and edit so hopefully there aren't too many typos!
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