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Old 11-12-2015, 01:22 PM
 
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*I tried posting this on the CA forum but it didn't gather much response - maybe because most people still live in CA on that forum.

I'd love to hear some personal stories of moving to California from the east coast, living there for long enough to experience it fully and establish a life, and then moving back (not necessarily back to your specific hometown again, but just moving back east after spending time in the west).

We all know the usual culprits: moving back closer family, finding a job in NYC, escaping LA traffic or SF rental prices...but could you expand on that to encompass the overall "culture" or "feel" of the California way of life you experienced vs. the east coast way of life where you were from/went back to.

Did you ever feel at "home" in California?
Was it a bittersweet move back east?
Do you miss it or are you happier now?
What were your social relationships like in the west vs. east?
Do you feel different living on the east coast around people who never left to see the west?
Do you regret it and wish you stayed in CA?
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Old 11-12-2015, 02:38 PM
 
Location: Jacksonville, FL
11,145 posts, read 14,113,945 times
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I can't speak from personal experience, but most people I know that were originally from Connecticut and moved to CA and back usually said that their motive was climate/weather/scenery related. They said that they missed the greenery of back east and missed things like thunderstorms, snow and four seasons. Some of them have also said that they felt that CA was a little too superficial, where as people back east are more normal. They also complained that the beaches in CA were just too cold, even in the summer. Atlantic water is cold too, but it's much more pleasant to swim in during the summer.
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Old 11-12-2015, 02:42 PM
 
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Did you ever feel at "home" in California? Yes. very much so. Demographically california has changed so much in just the last 20 -30 years I dont feel that way now when I go back to visit, but I havent lived there in a long time


Was it a bittersweet move back east? yes

Do you miss it or are you happier now? I dont miss it now but I did at first, I really loved the way california was when I lived there as a child, its probably the most beautiful state but one of worst run states in the nation though. California is now alot of very rich people and a ton of poor people and very hard to be in the middle. I dont think I would miss much because I couldnt afford to live in anything comparable like I could have in the south with the housing prices in california. Maryland is expensive ,too expensive and I want to relocate and the south offers way,way more house for your money.

I like the weather in the south too, warm and four seasons, not a fan of humidity and california is great in that regard but I like the rainy evenings in the south the humidity brings. san diego would be perfect but I would miss the rainy evenings

What were your social relationships like in the west vs. east? I actually moved south after california and I actually liked the people in california alot more, I thought the south was very polite but fake, I now dont care whether its fake or not, politeness has its virtues. I loved the people in california. I just wish the state was run better

Do you feel different living on the east coast around people who never left to see the west? no.most americans are very provincial anyways, including californians. most californians know nothing about the rest of the country but new york because of television, same with alot of americans about the rest of the country. People know what the media tells them unless they travel alot

Do you regret it and wish you stayed in CA? maybe in the past, not now. The city in california I lived in has been so transformed by immigration and so different and alot more crime and gangs, california could be heaven but the liberals there and the politicians have turned alot of it into a mess. I loved swimming in our pool every day and the california way of life, but you can find alot of that in florida and arizona and warm weather states as well. I still think california is pretty amazing though, just wish the politics were better
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Old 11-12-2015, 04:29 PM
 
155 posts, read 163,617 times
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You probably saw my post in the CA thread..but here's my thoughts...


Well..I'm still here in CA, but probably leaving down the road. Below are a couple things that make me want to move. Certainly not bashing CA, I love it here for many reasons, but for the sake of me and my family I think its in our best interest to head elsewhere. I certainly could make a long list of pros! If I was rich, it'd be hard to convince to leave.

1) My eye is always on retirement (I'm still years away) and the COL issues/housing prices are simply not in our favor. I can move elsewhere, get similar pay, and buy a house 2x bigger for 1/2 the cost. That leads to a better quality of life all around. I'll have a much nicer house, in a prime location, while saving more money. With that said too, better investment opportunities elsewhere in purchasing additional property to rent out. Simply not feasible in CA since the market is so hot.
2) Weather, of course the weather here is attractive when its not so hot, but I do like diversity in weather so I look forward to 4 seasons, cold/snow included.
3) CA politics, lots of crazy stuff going on, some of which I certainly want to get away from before they affect me personally
4) Ties in with some of the above (COL/politics) but of course but of course taxes here are higher than most places.
4) Less crowds in touristic places/less traffic, I'm certainly not moving for this but it will be a welcome change to not have to deal with that
5) Closer to family. Wherever I go will be closer than here, which is about as far as you can go in the lower 48.
6) Broad generalization here, but I don't find the location I'm at now welcoming/family oriented in the sense that I appreciate. I'm sure it is, but its not my style. Have my eye on other places that I think will fit.
7) I like adventure/travel, I look at moving as an extended vacation, enjoy the surrounding area for a few years and move on if it doesn't meet all your expectations. Life is too short to stay tied down if you aren't happy. With that said, I do everything financially sound as possible to come out on top and not lose a lot of money when moving.


Did you ever feel at "home" in California?
Yes, I've enjoyed my time here for the most part

Was it a bittersweet move back east?
N/A...yet...with that said I've moved around enough to always appreciate what I had even if at the time I was ready to get out of the place.

Do you miss it or are you happier now?
N/A, hoping to be happier of course

What were your social relationships like in the west vs. east? Much more luck back east personally, will have to see if I can develop a network again.

Do you feel different living on the east coast around people who never left to see the west?
In a way I'm sure that will be in the back of my head, but we're all people in the end. I've lived in Europe for quite a few years and most people here have never visited yet alone live there. Most people can't relate/appreciate the little nuances that come with that experience. I miss interacting with more 'worldly people' for sure. I can't imagine a move within the USA to be nearly as daunting.

Do you regret it and wish you stayed in CA?
I doubt it, though I'll be checking my house value in 10, 20, 30 years and maybe I'll change my mind? Still, I don't think its worth the risk/COL/lifestyle associations that come with staying here.
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Old 11-13-2015, 03:22 PM
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Couldn't afford it. Simple as that. But I'm more of an East coast person anyway.
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Old 11-14-2015, 10:48 PM
 
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Did you ever feel at "home" in California?

No, I felt even more like a fish out of water. Actually I realized that on the east coast, I was still a fish in the water, at least somewhat, which I didn't realize until after I left.

Was it a bittersweet move back east?
Still not sure on a city, bouncing between parents', friends, and overseas. I don't feel settled, I will move to a new place. Thinking about NW actually but really uncertain.

Do you miss it or are you happier now?
I feel like I'm in a slow recovery from trauma. In some ways like I wasted the last few years. I moved to take some risks to better my life, but now I realize my ideal life was pretty close (not exactly) what I had in Philly.

What were your social relationships like in the west vs. east?
I think the close friends I made in the west are truer, more long term ones, but I'd say 90% of them desperately want to leave, but haven't figured out yet b/c of job, relationships, or school. Also almost all of us were really financially struggling and coming up with ways to beat that brought us together. I can only assume that's part of why we are close, though I hope it's not only reason.

Do you feel different living on the east coast around people who never left to see the west?
Not so much. I think I appreciate the east more.

Do you regret it and wish you stayed in CA?
Hells no! I'll visit friends for a few days, but doubt I'll ever live there again.
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Old 11-15-2015, 10:59 PM
 
73 posts, read 81,272 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by newbern100 View Post
most americans are very provincial anyways, including californians. most californians know nothing about the rest of the country but new york because of television, same with alot of americans about the rest of the country.
I completely agree but didn't realize that about CA until you just said it. When I moved I was expecting to meet so many transplants (which I have), but have also met an equal or larger number of natives, most of which have lived in the same area their entire lives with no real plans/desire to move elsewhere, which is exactly the same as pretty much all of my friends back east.

I guess I can understand if you grow up somewhere that has everything you need, but it's interesting to me to not want to get out and live elsewhere to expand your horizons and see new things. So I guess no matter if I live here or go back, being one of the people who makes big moves/changes means always being in the minority and therefore a bit more unsettled...
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Old 11-15-2015, 11:05 PM
 
73 posts, read 81,272 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by OpenMind11 View Post
I like adventure/travel, I look at moving as an extended vacation, enjoy the surrounding area for a few years and move on if it doesn't meet all your expectations. Life is too short to stay tied down if you aren't happy. With that said, I do everything financially sound as possible to come out on top and not lose a lot of money when moving.
Thanks, I definitely appreciate this mentality.

Quote:
Originally Posted by OpenMind11 View Post
Broad generalization here, but I don't find the location I'm at now welcoming/family oriented in the sense that I appreciate. I'm sure it is, but its not my style. Have my eye on other places that I think will fit.
Could you elaborate on this? I think I know what you mean, but I'd love to hear your thoughts on it.
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Old 11-16-2015, 11:19 AM
 
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I can't remember the exact thought/mindset I had when I wrote that but basically I grew up in the country in a environment where we knew a large number of our neighbors and everyone was fairly friendly with everyone when in out and about. Where I'm at now is a much larger city with lots of diversity, which is great, but like anything lots of pros/cons go with that. I happen to live in an pretty diverse neighborhood with people from all over, while I love that, people tend to stay in their own culture group and its quite difficult to break-in.

I'm looking for an area that somewhat resembles the smaller town lifestyle I'm fond of, but within a city. I'm sure it could be found here, but I can't afford those areas! I'm thinking of relocating to the mid-west (I'm not from there) as it seems like it may be a fit based off my research. Basically looking for a slower pace (in many aspects, QOL, COL, etc) where family is the core of the community, where its easier to make friends (which is important given I have a young family).
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Old 11-16-2015, 11:40 AM
 
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I lived in NYC, then moved to Orange County, then moved back to NYC.

I liked Orange County, but I like NYC more. I'm an urbanist at heart. Plus (and I know I'm weird here) I like moody weather, and it never rained in Newport Beach. Plus I have more family in the Northeast than in CA, and I have family in Europe.

I do miss CA sometimes, like when we have crap weather in the winter. But most of the time I'm happy with my decision. And I visit CA all the time anyways, for work and leisure.
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