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Have you ever visited a city once or maybe several times before finally moving there, building up an expectation of what life would be, and eventually finding that living there was totally different than what you expected after all your visits?
Yes. Memphis Tennessee. Growing up in St. Louis, I thought they would have a lot more in common than they do. Memphis was so disappointing.
Chicago, lived up to its reputation for the first five years. Living in the Hyde Park neighborhood on the city's south side was a dream due to the university and the over all diversity of the area. When I moved to the northside W. Lakeview neighborhood it was like a step back in time with the nasty racial climate.
Charlotte was small but I met so many cool people who where laid back and just flat out good people. Same can be said about the Raleigh/Durham area.
Every city is different. Some places offer a better experience visiting. Other cities offer a good experience for living. Some doesn't offer anything at all.
Kinda neat to visit, old west mining city with red dust everywhere, split by a railroad, surrounded by cliffs, hills and deep-cut washes, strange formations, mustangs, prairie dogs, absolutly no roaches (thanks to said dogs), and an exposed K-T bounbary.
Sounds like a neat place to live? Think again.
It may be for some but not me. Its so cold most folks dont own an A/C, they just pop the windows in the summer. Consequently, it snows 'til the end of May. The water has Uranium in it. For some reason, the glonnies coming off the rez all go to Gallup to drink (no alcohol sold on the rez), and turn up in some rather interesting places, most infamously, in washes. For some reason one particular road (US 491, the former US 666) near the end of town gets flooded with an anomalous amount of traffic. Its like bumper-to-bumper something out of Manhattan.There isn't even that many houses out that way! Most of all, it is remote, usually something I like, but not in this case. You have to drive 170 miles to Albuquerque to get anything done. The only real amenity is Wal-Mart. If you live there, prepare to live in a city locked in the '70s. Also watch for deadly mineshafts.
Tucson, AZ. Loved visiting my relatives there and taking vacations, etc. Moved there, and the beauty was great, as was the sunshine. And it's not a bad city, but things you don't realize when just visiting:
1) public schools are terrible
2) you spend almost as much time avoiding the outdoors in the summer as you do in the winter in Chicago. And it's when your kids are out of school
3) there is a huge resistance to growth, retarding the infrastructure development to the point of pure frustration
I'd still potentially retire there, but family living is far superior in the midwest.
Tucson, AZ. Loved visiting my relatives there and taking vacations, etc. Moved there, and the beauty was great, as was the sunshine. And it's not a bad city, but things you don't realize when just visiting:
1) public schools are terrible
2) you spend almost as much time avoiding the outdoors in the summer as you do in the winter in Chicago. And it's when your kids are out of school
3) there is a huge resistance to growth, retarding the infrastructure development to the point of pure frustration
I'd still potentially retire there, but family living is far superior in the midwest.
I'm from Tucson originally (I grew up near the university), and I can see how the beautiful mountains, the distinctive floura, and the laid-back, free-spirited vibe of the city could seduce someone coming from the Midwest or the East Coast, yet between the bad economy (lack of a diverse economy), the poor schools, the traffic, and the harsh summers, it's not an easy place to live. There's also a bit of a problem with property crime, mostly car break-ins. All my friends from high school have moved away since graduating. It just doesn't have much to offer those of us in that transitional stage of our lives between college and retirement.
While my childhood was spent bored and in my sweltering house (my family didn't have air conditioning--we a swamp cooler, which is essentially a fan placed behind a wet pad), Tucson was an amazing place to be a teenager. There was always some interesting cultural event going on near the university. I had permissive parents, and I was free to do whatever I'd want. I'd go hiking and/or Mexico every weekend. My friends and I would also make pretty regular trips to to San Diego, Orange County, and LA.
I was happy I grew up there, but I wouldn't move back.
After Tucson, I lived in Minneapolis (Uptown one year and Northeast for two). I moved there blindly without visiting first. It had less trees but more cultural amenities than I imaged. The winters also weren't as bad as I though they'd be.
From Minneapolis I moved to Chicago (I lived in East Rogers Park for a year and Andersonville for six years), which I did visit before moving there. I'd say the novelty of living in a big city wore off faster than expected. I went to beach less often than expected. Getting around the city was more difficult than expected. In terms of positives, there was a stronger community feel than I first assumed. Andersonville was really close-knit, as are most Chicago neighborhoods. Everyone knows each other; people are politically involved (despite the city's corruption); there's always a block party or neighborhood festival in the summer.
From Chicago I moved to Syracuse. I lived of the Northside near Lodi and Butternut if anyone knows the area. I did visit before moving there. As a whole, the city was a lot more diverse than what I gathered from my first impression, but it was the most racist and homophobic city I've ever lived. That's not really what one would expect from a "blue state" in the Northeast, but most of the Northeast isn't Boston, Manhattan, and DC. I was in Syracuse for two years. The food there was better than expected. When I visited, I thought it was just pizza and wings, but they have a great farmers market, fantastic small grocery stores, and the best bakeries of any city I've ever been (Philly is a close second).
From Syracuse, I moved to Baltimore (I live in Charles Village). Baltimore is less diverse than what I gathered from my first impression, and it's lacking the vibrant immigrant communities that I had grown accustomed to seeing in other cities where I've lived. I'm not saying there aren't immigrants in Baltimore (the neighborhoods near Fells Point, for instance, are very diverse and immigrant-friendly); it's just nothing like Minneapolis and Chicago, or even Syracuse. The gay community in Baltimore is surprisingly small given the city's size. Syracuse has the same number of gay bars. Most of us queens, I guess, live in DC. Speaking of which, I also thought I'd enjoy Washington more often. I thought living here would be the best of both worlds: low cost of living, yet I could enjoy DC's culture, shopping, an neighborhoods whenever I'd please. Surprisingly, I only make my way down there a few times a year. I literally go to New York City more often. I've been in Baltimore for a little over two years.
Last edited by Dawn.Davenport; 12-22-2015 at 04:34 PM..
I'm from Tucson originally (I grew up near the university), and I can see how the beautiful mountains, the distinctive floura, and the laid-back, free-spirited vibe of the city could seduce someone coming from the Midwest or the East Coast, yet between the bad economy (lack of a diverse economy), the poor schools, the traffic, and the harsh summers, it's not an easy place to live. There's also a bit of a problem with property crime, mostly car break-ins. All my friends from high school have moved away since graduating. It just doesn't have much to offer those of us in that transitional stage of our lives between college and retirement.
While my childhood was spent bored and in my sweltering house (my family didn't have air conditioning--we a swamp cooler, which is essentially a fan placed behind a wet pad), Tucson was an amazing place to be a teenager. There was always some interesting cultural event going on near the university. I had permissive parents, and I was free to do whatever I'd want. I'd go hiking and/or Mexico every weekend. My friends and I would also make pretty regular trips to to San Diego, Orange County, and LA.
I was happy I grew up there, but I wouldn't move back.
After Tucson, I lived in Minneapolis (Uptown one year and Northeast for two). I moved there blindly without visiting first. It had less trees but more cultural amenities than I imaged. The winters also weren't as bad as I though they'd be.
From Minneapolis I moved to Chicago (I lived in East Rogers Park for a year and Andersonville for six years), which I did visit before moving there. I'd say the novelty of living in a big city wore off faster than expected. I went to beach less often than expected. Getting around the city was more difficult than expected. In terms of positives, there was a stronger community feel than I first assumed. Andersonville was really close-knit, as are most Chicago neighborhoods. Everyone knows each other; people are politically involved (despite the city's corruption); there's always a block party or neighborhood festival in the summer.
From Chicago I moved to Syracuse. I lived of the Northside near Lodi and Butternut if anyone knows the area. I did visit before moving there. As a whole, the city was a lot more diverse than what I gathered from my first impression, but it was the most racist and homophobic city I've ever lived. That's not really what one would expect from a "blue state" in the Northeast, but most of the Northeast isn't Boston, Manhattan, and DC. I was in Syracuse for two years. The food there was better than expected. When I visited, I thought it was just pizza and wings, but they have a great farmers market, fantastic small grocery stores, and the best bakeries of any city I've ever been (Philly is a close second).
From Syracuse, I moved to Baltimore (I live in Charles Village). Baltimore is less diverse than what I gathered from my first impression, and it's lacking the vibrant immigrant communities that I had grown accustomed to seeing in other cities where I've lived. I'm not saying there aren't immigrants in Baltimore (the neighborhoods near Fells Point, for instance, are very diverse and immigrant-friendly); it's just nothing like Minneapolis and Chicago, or even Syracuse. The gay community in Baltimore is surprisingly small given the city's size. Syracuse has the same number of gay bars. Most of us queens, I guess, live in DC. Speaking of which, I also thought I'd enjoy Washington more often. I thought living here would be the best of both worlds: low cost of living, yet I could enjoy DC's culture, shopping, an neighborhoods whenever I'd please. Surprisingly, I only make my way down there a few times a year. I literally go to New York City more often. I've been in Baltimore for a little over two years.
Interesting.....While I know Syracuse has some issues, I think the area of town may have had something to do with it, as there are other parts of the city that have some of the highest percentages of same sex households in Upstate NY. Not perfect, but those in the LGBTQ community can find suitable areas within the city/area(Hawley-Green, Westcott and the Sunnycrest Park area of Eastwood). As for the racism, it is an American city.....I'll leave it at that, as that manifests itself in various ways across the country. With that said, things like interracial couples and nice neighborhoods that are diverse and integrated(the East Side east of Syracuse University and around/south of East Genesee St./Salt Springs Rd., South Valley(south of Seneca Turnpike), parts of Strathmore, Elmwood(south of Glenwood), Court-Woodlawn, parts of Eastwood) are not uncommon. This isn't to undermind your experience though.
I also kind of think of Syracuse's North Side as being similar to South Philly in terms of demographics(a currently very diverse area of the city with a long time, but diminished Italian population and that gets a lot of refugees/immigrants from SE Asia, E and W Africa and a long time African American community in parts that has grown over the years). Both have strong Catholic presence historically and other ethnic groups generally of that religious background.
Last edited by ckhthankgod; 12-23-2015 at 07:42 PM..
When anyone comes with an expectation of how much their life will change simply by moving to a different location, it won't live up to standards, period. Maybe a few people can break this rule but most people, even if they move, don't change their lifestyles.
For an example, if I have this expectation when I visited Los Angeles that there are tons of famous people and that I will rub elbows with the famous on the regular, I would most certainly be let down if I moved to Los Angeles. Many people, in a similar capacity, view NYC as the place to "make it" in the business world and climb the ladder. Again, another expectation that would not live up to standards. I know people who move to Colorado and Washington and Oregon expecting to always be outdoors and be able to live a very active lifestyle, only to find out that traffic, rising rents, and having a full-time job prevents them from doing this as much as they expected and they are disappointed.
The reality is if you move to a place expecting to have a bigchange in YOUR (emphasis on your) lifestyle it won't live up to standards. I don't think any place can provide such a big change as American cities are rather standardized in terms of what they offer (maybe being on an ocean or near mountains is different, but if you work a full-time job, how often are you going to be able to enjoy this?) except people have some "dream" they wish to fulfill in the new place only to be let down because they get back into what they used to do, with maybe a few people managing to break this routine. I think only something drastic like living in Miami and moving to the bush in Alaska would provide big enough changes that are probably realistic: expect everything to be different. Otherwise, most places are similar in most capacities.
I think the key here is to try and visit any potential city at different times of the year. Seattle, for example, is completely different in July than it is in December. Though this is my hometown, and I still love it, the smart person will experience both sides and make a judgement. Of course, this isn't always true...places like L.A./San Diego could look great all year, but Phoenix or Tucson might have a completely different feel due to seasonal change. Same is true just about anywhere east of the Rockies, with perhaps the exception of the gulf coast, and Florida's east coast.
I'm from Tucson originally (I grew up near the university), and I can see how the beautiful mountains, the distinctive floura, and the laid-back, free-spirited vibe of the city could seduce someone coming from the Midwest or the East Coast, yet between the bad economy (lack of a diverse economy), the poor schools, the traffic, and the harsh summers, it's not an easy place to live. There's also a bit of a problem with property crime, mostly car break-ins. All my friends from high school have moved away since graduating. It just doesn't have much to offer those of us in that transitional stage of our lives between college and retirement.
While my childhood was spent bored and in my sweltering house (my family didn't have air conditioning--we a swamp cooler, which is essentially a fan placed behind a wet pad), Tucson was an amazing place to be a teenager. There was always some interesting cultural event going on near the university. I had permissive parents, and I was free to do whatever I'd want. I'd go hiking and/or Mexico every weekend. My friends and I would also make pretty regular trips to to San Diego, Orange County, and LA.
I was happy I grew up there, but I wouldn't move back.
After Tucson, I lived in Minneapolis (Uptown one year and Northeast for two). I moved there blindly without visiting first. It had less trees but more cultural amenities than I imaged. The winters also weren't as bad as I though they'd be.
From Minneapolis I moved to Chicago (I lived in East Rogers Park for a year and Andersonville for six years), which I did visit before moving there. I'd say the novelty of living in a big city wore off faster than expected. I went to beach less often than expected. Getting around the city was more difficult than expected. In terms of positives, there was a stronger community feel than I first assumed. Andersonville was really close-knit, as are most Chicago neighborhoods. Everyone knows each other; people are politically involved (despite the city's corruption); there's always a block party or neighborhood festival in the summer.
From Chicago I moved to Syracuse. I lived of the Northside near Lodi and Butternut if anyone knows the area. I did visit before moving there. As a whole, the city was a lot more diverse than what I gathered from my first impression, but it was the most racist and homophobic city I've ever lived. That's not really what one would expect from a "blue state" in the Northeast, but most of the Northeast isn't Boston, Manhattan, and DC. I was in Syracuse for two years. The food there was better than expected. When I visited, I thought it was just pizza and wings, but they have a great farmers market, fantastic small grocery stores, and the best bakeries of any city I've ever been (Philly is a close second).
From Syracuse, I moved to Baltimore (I live in Charles Village). Baltimore is less diverse than what I gathered from my first impression, and it's lacking the vibrant immigrant communities that I had grown accustomed to seeing in other cities where I've lived. I'm not saying there aren't immigrants in Baltimore (the neighborhoods near Fells Point, for instance, are very diverse and immigrant-friendly); it's just nothing like Minneapolis and Chicago, or even Syracuse. The gay community in Baltimore is surprisingly small given the city's size. Syracuse has the same number of gay bars. Most of us queens, I guess, live in DC. Speaking of which, I also thought I'd enjoy Washington more often. I thought living here would be the best of both worlds: low cost of living, yet I could enjoy DC's culture, shopping, an neighborhoods whenever I'd please. Surprisingly, I only make my way down there a few times a year. I literally go to New York City more often. I've been in Baltimore for a little over two years.
Fascinating story of your migration around the country. You've seen a lot. I can only claim two on your list, Tucson and Chicago. And Tucson is sandwiched between two long stints in Illinois. Your description of Tucson is consistent with what my relatives experiences. I had several cousins who grew up on the older east side, went to Palo Verde High School, and of those 5 cousins, 3 still live in town - ranging from 50-56 years old. The youngest one has lived all over the city with his family, loves it, but understands the city's limitations and faults. He has expressed to me that he'd love to leave for the midwest, but it's not realistic.
ALL cities are completely different visiting VS living. That's just common sense. It's as simple as knowing what the local TV channels are, or as complicated as who the major political players / movers and shakers are, etc.
Why people expect otherwise is boyond me. And yet, they do. "I always loved visiting. But when I moved it just wasn't what I thought it was ... Sigh."
RULE: Never move anywhere simply because "it's a nice place to visit." And wherever you move, abandon ALL (all!) preconceived notions before you get there.
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