Cliquish and non-cliquish cities (live in, suburbs, friendly)
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I find the cliquey mentality so strange after university... Don't most people move to different parts of the country at least several times anyway?
10 cities and counting. I have hated every single one of this list of cliquish southwestern cities, except Reno and Carson City.
Usually people end up moving back to places where they understand the people. For those of us from the far west coast we usually go back. However, Reno, Tahoe, and Mammoth Lakes are fine since they are full of Californians. It is the Midwesterners and Texans who are the snobs. They drive us crazy with their arrogant, know it all attitude, and lack of genuine good hearted personalities that you'd find in a native Los Angelan or Seattlite.
Las Vegas
Henderson
Boulder City
Flagstaff
Phoenix
Scottsdale
Albuquerque
Santa Fe
Palm Springs, sort of OK since a combination of west coast natives and Midwesterners
Most cliquish: I guess Seattle takes the cake, what with their "Seattle Freeze," but Southern California comes pretty close. I've lived there all my life, and still feel like I'm a newcomer. I guess it's because all my extended family lives in Hong Kong or the UK. In Southern California, it's basically expected that you have a strong, large, supportive extended family nearby. If you don't, oh well, you're on your own. People aren't hostile, but they sure don't want to talk to people outside their family.
Least cliquish: Biloxi, MS, and Slidell, LA. Felt more at home there, just for 10 weeks, than I have living all my life in Southern California.
I find the cliquey mentality so strange after university... Don't most people move to different parts of the country at least several times anyway?
Not hardly. People move home after college these days or if they do relocate they have one foot in their hometown. The first chance they get they're back or they're back with the first setback.
Unfortunately, San Diego is incredibly cliquish. Strange for a huge coastal city on an international border, but it is.
Everyone in their designated, pre-gamed, pre-arranged social group, all the time, in pretty much every neighborhood, even the "hip" ones. People are always polite and friendly, but there is very little real socializing/mingling/mixing going on, anywhere.
Los Angeles is the complete opposite. Much more like a European (or even Canadian) city. People venturing out by themselves, making connections, seeking out, etc.
This is such a good thread. Phoenix/Scottsdale is def cliqueish. Unlesd u made college friends, work w similar aged ppl, or have an extended family, it’s really hard to fit in. Ppl are always out in groups and not very open to socialize w ppl who r out solo.
I found NYC/Brooklyn and Miami much more open and easier to be adopted into groups when out solo.
Unfortunately, San Diego is incredibly cliquish. Strange for a huge coastal city on an international border, but it is.
Everyone in their designated, pre-gamed, pre-arranged social group, all the time, in pretty much every neighborhood, even the "hip" ones. People are always polite and friendly, but there is very little real socializing/mingling/mixing going on, anywhere.
Los Angeles is the complete opposite. Much more like a European (or even Canadian) city. People venturing out by themselves, making connections, seeking out, etc.
Europeans are like 1000x more “we stick to our own” than Americans are
Seattle is insular to the point where cherished but underground institutions go out of business and they blame the transplants who they thought they were cooler than for this phenomenon.
Seattle *does* have an ATT lounge where you can watch parks and rec like it's 2011 again though. it's in the hippest part of town. Does anyone else hate drumpf? Ugh, if you don't, that's harassment. Viva la resistance. Abolish the police! Arrest anyone who disagrees with me!
Do you live in Seattle?
If so, can you explain more about this insularity? I'm truly curious because, despite other flaws (I agree with cliquish), insularity isn't an issue I've had with Seattleites. Maybe I missed something.
Partially agree with Denver. It's getting more cliquish with all the new transplants coming from major cities, but it is still pretty easy to make friends. You just need to get involved with activities or hobbies that have a community.
Minneapolis is definitively near the top. Not only is it a very sticky city (not many people leave/come it), but the culture and the long winters cause people to stay within their tight circles. Most people have the same friends since high school, and once they all keep married, they basically fall off the face of the earth. And I know it's common everywhere, but it's more abundant. It also feels more cliquish because of the Minnesota Nice. You can go to a bar, start talking to someone, they will give you their number and say how excited they are to hangout sometime, only to never hear from them again. They go through the motions of being nice to you, but it's just that, to be nice. You have to try very very hard to break into a clique, it can be an emotional roller coaster ride, but eventually (months or years later), they finally start to consider you...and of course once your in, you have friends for life. It's a weird enviroment.
I think you maybe talking the suburbs of Minneapolis, if you live in the city, you can meet people from all different backgrounds and culture. The native Minnesotans are some of the most friendly people I have met.
Duluth has been fairly hard to break into, but our family is finally getting there. I would call it fairly cliquey. This is self evident as the city has seen very stagnant populations for the better part of 30 years. It seems like once you are in however, everyone wants to help or give you things. Many of my new friends are very handy and helpful.
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