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Old 08-14-2016, 11:00 AM
4 posts, read 3,557 times
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Hello all. I am about to turn 40, and currently live in a smallish town in the Midwest. I love lots about it, but it is near impossible to find a date as a lesbian. I would like to get married some day. I had always planned on leaving here, and now it's time.

My two big priorities are someplace where I have a decent chance of meeting other single, middle aged lesbians, and affordability. I am a social worker. I'm not interested in eating out, shopping, bars, or whatnot. I do love to be outside. I've lived in a city for a short stint, and it worked because I was 2 blocks from a 150 acre park. I'm open to moving to a city, but I do need green space where you can get some peace and quiet. Good parks, trees, walking paths, and water are basically a neccesity for me; I walk several miles each day outside (except the summer). Church is important to me, but if someplace is lesbain friendly I'm sure there will be churches that are. Other things I care about (like healthy living, biking) it seems are common in places that are gay/lesbain friendly.

I've read about places like Portland, Denver, Seattle, Boston. My current salary is $50,000 (no benefits), and that allows me to pay my bills without worry and save for retirement. Looking at average salaries online, it looks like it would not go up much (if at all) in places like that, but my rent would. Does anyone have any less obvious suggestions? Or are those workable? Weatherwise the only thing I can't handle is heat; I get sick, so the south is out. Even here I've been inside since the end of May.
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Old 08-14-2016, 11:06 AM
Location: TOVCCA
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Are you an LCSW? Because that's the standard for most big cities.
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Old 08-14-2016, 11:08 AM
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I am not. There's no where here where I can get the supervision I need to get my clinical license. I'm just an LMSW.
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Old 08-14-2016, 11:18 AM
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Seattle and Portland definitely are the two I would suggest. Two best places in the country for hiking options within reasonable time in the metro. They're basically the standard when it comes to green space and much more open to lesbian dating I would imagine. Also the heat there is basically a non-factor because the climate is mostly mild year round. Rarely has major heat waves, but very comfortable summer temperatures averaging 75-80, low humidity.

There is no water component at all in Denver and it is quite isolated and Boston is expensive and good hiking is 2-3 hours away in Vermont, New Hampshire and Maine. I wouldn't think the dating scene in Boston would be that good either. It's a hard place to crack the social scene. Most of all though, Boston is super expensive.
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Old 08-14-2016, 11:49 AM
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Decatur, GA...Atlanta's closest and best suburb, is well-known as a lesbian mecca.
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Old 08-14-2016, 11:59 AM
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Ithaca NY.....
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Old 08-14-2016, 07:06 PM
Location: TOVCCA
8,452 posts, read 11,431,560 times
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Is it the heat you dislike, or Heat with humidity? Have you ever spent time in a dry heat? It's very different, and it cools at night.

Thinking maybe Sacramento, CA. It has amazing parks, 2 rivers, bike trails, it's nickname is "The City of Trees," super-liberal, not skewed to any particular age group, coffee shops and walkable in parts, and it's the state capital, with a lot of government and hospital jobs.
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Old 08-14-2016, 07:46 PM
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Second the recs for Seattle and Portland. Portland in particular is said to have a lower cost of living than Seattle. I have been looking at rents in the same areas and they don't seem to be too totally unreasonable- you can rent an apartment for under 1k, unlike many major cities with a high LGB population.

This article The 21 Most Lesbianish Cities in the US: The Autostraddle Guide | Autostraddle also recommends Northampton MA and some other smallish cities in the northeast, which I think sound like a good fit for what you've described. I am not as familiar with those places so thats why I didn't recommend them first but I would assume they have a lower COL. And in smaller towns I bet you won't find as much of a party scene, so it will be easier to meet someone without having to participate in that.
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Old 08-15-2016, 07:42 AM
Location: Jacksonville, FL
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Northampton, MA is a small lesbian city and the lesbian capital of the world, I believe. Rachel Maddow lives there on the weekends and it's a very fun little city surrounded by lots of nature, mountains and beauty. It would probably be hard to find a decent job though.
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Old 08-15-2016, 11:06 AM
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Greater Columbus. Clintonville neighborhood north of Ohio State has a small town feel, reportedly many Lesbians, and a great park -- Whetstone Park with the excellent Columbus Park of Roses.

Columbus reportedly has one of the largest and most vibrant gay communities in the U.S.


Poll: Columbus ranks 15th in cities with highest gay population | The Columbus Dispatch

Perhaps check with gay community centers in various cities. E.g., Cleveland, which is a cultural center with great theater, classical music venues, and one of the nation's best art museums, if those are interests.

The Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transgender Community Center of Greater Cleveland - HOME

Cleveland's gay community likely is older than in Columbus, and is more integrated into the community, but it has a reputation now as a gay-friendly town.

<<"Cleveland's kind of 'post-gay' in that we don't need the gayborhood and don't necessarily need gay leagues in everything," Nobbe said. "We don't have the numbers for that. But there are other options where you can feel comfortable playing in an otherwise straight league. That's where this region really shows itself to be welcoming.">>



BTW, Public Square, criticized in the above article, has been renovated:



Last edited by WRnative; 08-15-2016 at 11:33 AM..
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