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Old 02-13-2017, 06:16 PM
 
Location: Jacksonville, FL
11,145 posts, read 14,135,139 times
Reputation: 7075

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Well despite so many people claiming that the days of gay enclaves are over, I beg to differ. Look at Columbus. Look at New Haven. The majority of the gays in these cities live in a total bubble in the urban core of the city and NEVER venture beyond their bubble. They only care about dating and hanging out with guys who also live in the inner urban core and that's it. And it's super expensive to live in these neighborhoods, too. So, I disagree with others on here saying that the days of gay enclaves are over.
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Old 02-13-2017, 07:07 PM
 
Location: South Park, San Diego
4,947 posts, read 7,605,059 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PerseusVeil View Post
The dynamic of a metro area would be a lot more important than an arbitrary cut off number. Additionally knowing how cliquey the gay community in a city is also helps.

For example, I know quite a few people my age (mid-20s) who rarely go to bars that aren't in Boystown. It's kinda sad, really. To them the better part of the city isn't on their radar, let alone anywhere in the suburbs. Although I will say the suburbs aren't on my radar either. I go to Evanston occasionally, but that's about it.

Anyway, being in a bigger city is nice. Chicago has two gayborhoods and gay bars spread throughout various other neighborhoods, but smaller cities can be fine depending on certain criteria.
I thought that young gay men hardly went to bars any more, busy online on their smartphones perusing a 100 guys an hour looking for one just a little bit hotter than the last, and often enough so caught up with seeking perfection that no one real person ever truly measures up enough to commit, even for a fling; I only slightly jest. Most of the gay bars in my large city have closed down, a couple of holdouts remain and (I guess) one or two clubs. It is a good thing to know that a few guys (and gals) still like to socialize and meet someone face to face.

I find it to be a little sad, a safe place to find and hang out with "your people" was always a big part of the gay world when I was a young adult. Still, all the really cool bars are now almost always a mixed crowd, in just another hip urban neighborhood, not necessarily a gayborhood, with guys like us spreading out throughput the metro core into those places that meet the hip urban description.

But I still strongly prefer a denser, vibrant environment, regardless of the overall metro population. I am certain their are plenty of mid to smaller size metros that still mostly fit this description. Of course, I've been with my husband for 31 years so what we are looking for when we go out is just a pub or restaurant full of fun, friendly and interesting people, our days of dancing on a bar with our shirts off are long since over haha.
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Old 02-13-2017, 08:48 PM
 
Location: St. Louis
2,480 posts, read 2,228,908 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by T. Damon View Post
I thought that young gay men hardly went to bars any more, busy online on their smartphones perusing a 100 guys an hour looking for one just a little bit hotter than the last, and often enough so caught up with seeking perfection that no one real person ever truly measures up enough to commit, even for a fling; I only slightly jest.
They do that from inside the club if they can't see anyone they like with their own eyes

Quote:
Most of the gay bars in my large city have closed down, a couple of holdouts remain and (I guess) one or two clubs. It is a good thing to know that a few guys (and gals) still like to socialize and meet someone face to face.

I find it to be a little sad, a safe place to find and hang out with "your people" was always a big part of the gay world when I was a young adult. Still, all the really cool bars are now almost always a mixed crowd, in just another hip urban neighborhood, not necessarily a gayborhood, with guys like us spreading out throughput the metro core into those places that meet the hip urban description.

But I still strongly prefer a denser, vibrant environment, regardless of the overall metro population. I am certain their are plenty of mid to smaller size metros that still mostly fit this description. Of course, I've been with my husband for 31 years so what we are looking for when we go out is just a pub or restaurant full of fun, friendly and interesting people, our days of dancing on a bar with our shirts off are long since over haha.
Definitely more than just a few holdouts in Chicago. There's around 20 bars in and around Boystown alone. A couple of the bars even opened second locations in Andersonville, although those crowds are more mixed than what you'll get in Boystown.

People in Boystown will complain about the number of drunk straight girls, but the bars in Boystown definitely weren't nearly as mixed as what I've seen in places like WeHo or even some of the bars in Andersonville.
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Old 02-13-2017, 08:59 PM
 
Location: Jacksonville, FL
11,145 posts, read 14,135,139 times
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Personally, I cannot stand gay culture and the gay scene in general. I have not been to a gay bar since June 2015. Also, the city of Hartford now only has one dedicated gay bar left. It's only a matter of time before that one closes down, too.
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Old 02-13-2017, 09:04 PM
 
Location: Cbus
1,721 posts, read 1,405,048 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Pine to Vine View Post
Yes I'm gay. I'm married, older and moved to Philly. Not because of the gay scene, but because it offers the urban amenities we prefer.

There are posters in this thread who have indicated they are happy in municipalities of all sizes. The op seems to have launched this thread to validate his preconceived beliefs about this matter, and is unable to accept data that contradicts them.
I would say young, single gay men overall tend to prefer large urban areas with lots of other gay people. Of course there are exceptions. But if you ask most college educated, single gay men in their early 20's if they rather live in a large metro area with a substantial gay scene or a place like Joplin, Missouri or Texarkana, Arkansas they are going to choose the large metro area. Of course, like you mentioned part of that is for the urban amenities that have absolutely nothing to do with LGBT issues but the other part is the notion of tolerance and a viable dating pool.



Quote:
Originally Posted by nep321 View Post
I lived in Cbus and thought that the gay population really wasn't that large at all, despite being 2 million people. Within months, I knew just about everyone and things got stale fast.
It's one of the gayest cities in the country proportion wise. I've lived here since 2012 and definitely don't know everyone or even close (and I go out regularly) but to each is own, no city is for everyone and glad you found a city more suited to you.
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Old 02-13-2017, 09:05 PM
 
Location: St. Louis
2,480 posts, read 2,228,908 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nep321 View Post
True. It's a pros and cons thing. In general, I prefer small town living, but hate that there's very few other gays. And I'm not so crazy about big city living, but it's nice to have more gay options. So in other words, I guess it doesn't matter.
Quote:
Originally Posted by nep321 View Post
Personally, I cannot stand gay culture and the gay scene in general. I have not been to a gay bar since June 2015. Also, the city of Hartford now only has one dedicated gay bar left. It's only a matter of time before that one closes down, too.
You want more gay options, but you cannot stand gay culture or the gay scene in general. That's not contradictory at all.
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Old 02-13-2017, 10:04 PM
 
Location: Jacksonville, FL
11,145 posts, read 14,135,139 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PerseusVeil View Post
You want more gay options, but you cannot stand gay culture or the gay scene in general. That's not contradictory at all.
Options, meaning dating options. Not bars and gay events.
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Old 02-14-2017, 12:42 AM
 
Location: Florida
2,233 posts, read 1,514,026 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nep321 View Post
Options, meaning dating options. Not bars and gay events.
Why would someone want to date you when you have such a condescending attitude towards the lgbt community?
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Old 02-14-2017, 07:00 AM
 
Location: Tennessee
23,614 posts, read 17,598,460 times
Reputation: 27693
Quote:
Originally Posted by Buckeye614 View Post
I would say young, single gay men overall tend to prefer large urban areas with lots of other gay people. Of course there are exceptions. But if you ask most college educated, single gay men in their early 20's if they rather live in a large metro area with a substantial gay scene or a place like Joplin, Missouri or Texarkana, Arkansas they are going to choose the large metro area. Of course, like you mentioned part of that is for the urban amenities that have absolutely nothing to do with LGBT issues but the other part is the notion of tolerance and a viable dating pool.

It's one of the gayest cities in the country proportion wise. I've lived here since 2012 and definitely don't know everyone or even close (and I go out regularly) but to each is own, no city is for everyone and glad you found a city more suited to you.
Part of the deal with that though is that large urban areas generally have more to do and more amenities of all types that smaller towns and rural areas. Young people, straight or gay, are increasingly preferring urban living to small towns and rural areas.

When I lived in Indianapolis, you had numerous nice gyms in the suburbs and the city to accommodate a wide range of budgets and tastes. If you were a YMCA member, you could go to any metro Y for a change of scenery. Don't like the Y or want something higher end? There's an option in that market too. Want to pay $10/month? There are those options as well. Where I am now, there is one decent gym in the entire town, our YMCA, and because it is virtually the only option, it gets more crowded during rush hour than any of the Indy gyms I went to.

Especially during the winter, there is just far more to do in a major metro. Even though I'm in TN, it's not reliably warm or dry during the winter, which limits the great outdoor activities the area has. We have few indoor activities - sports, plays, concerts, etc., and anything you want to do like that is going to be a several hour drive to anywhere. I can't even imagine how frustrating it would get to be in the middle of nowhere Minnesota or something in the winter. At least in Chicago there's tons of stuff going on at all times of the year.

Larger towns will have a larger dating pool and many are going to be more LGBT friendly, but LGBT friendliness doesn't drive all decisions.
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Old 02-14-2017, 02:26 PM
 
Location: Center City
6,864 posts, read 7,811,377 times
Reputation: 9492
Quote:
Originally Posted by Buckeye614 View Post
I would say young, single gay men overall tend to prefer large urban areas with lots of other gay people. Of course there are exceptions. But if you ask most college educated, single gay men in their early 20's if they rather live in a large metro area with a substantial gay scene or a place like Joplin, Missouri or Texarkana, Arkansas they are going to choose the large metro area. Of course, like you mentioned part of that is for the urban amenities that have absolutely nothing to do with LGBT issues but the other part is the notion of tolerance and a viable dating pool.
I agree with what you say. But this thread is not about the preferences of young, degreed, single, gay men in their early 20s. Besides this small subset of people, this thread is also looking for insights and experiences of lesbians, bisexual people and transgender people along with gay men older than say, 23.

Regardless, the op doesn't seem terribly interested in the views of anyone but his own.
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