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Old 02-05-2017, 06:01 PM
 
Location: Jacksonville, FL
11,145 posts, read 14,129,269 times
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I am gay and have never lived in a small metropolitan area. I have always lived in medium sized metro areas, as well as NYC, which is extra large. If you are gay, would you mind chiming in on what life is like in a small city/metro? Do you plan to stay or leave? Are you happy, depressed or neutral about it? What is your age? Do you want a relationship or are you currently in one?

Apparently there are places that are small, but gay friendly, such as Burlington VT, Ann Arbor MI, Tallahassee FL and Eugene OR. But are gay people actually happy living in these places?
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Old 02-05-2017, 07:01 PM
 
Location: Minneapolis, MN
6,061 posts, read 3,390,242 times
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I lived in a really small town of about 4,000 in rural Texas. There were things I didn't like in that town and 0% of it has to do with being gay. That doesn't mean that all small rural towns are gonna be good for gay people, but in my experience, being gay in a small town was not an issue.

I'm sure in a small metro like Ann Arbor, you will be fine. I base where I wanna live on many thing that have nothing to do with being gay. As long as I can get married, adopt kids and not be told constantly I'm going to hell or denied service, I'm good on the "gay front."
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Old 02-05-2017, 07:09 PM
 
Location: Maryland
4,267 posts, read 5,484,228 times
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Never had a problem myself, but you have to decide what works best for you and what makes you happy.
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Old 02-05-2017, 09:42 PM
 
Location: Chicago
211 posts, read 478,101 times
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I live in the Chicago area (I've lived in the city, but now I'm back in the suburbs). Sometimes I fantasize leaving Chicago for a smaller city like Albuquerque or Tucson.
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Old 02-06-2017, 05:20 AM
 
3,961 posts, read 3,495,663 times
Reputation: 6362
Quote:
Originally Posted by nep321 View Post
I am gay and have never lived in a small metropolitan area. I have always lived in medium sized metro areas, as well as NYC, which is extra large. If you are gay, would you mind chiming in on what life is like in a small city/metro? Do you plan to stay or leave? Are you happy, depressed or neutral about it? What is your age? Do you want a relationship or are you currently in one?

Apparently there are places that are small, but gay friendly, such as Burlington VT, Ann Arbor MI, Tallahassee FL and Eugene OR. But are gay people actually happy living in these places?
As a gay man I somewhat resent this. I suppose you could be trying to generate conversation the way you sometimes do. Being happy or not happy in a place is almost 100% dependent on the given persons attitude. Keep in mind that as a "small metro" Ann Arbor is immediately adjacent to a 4million plus metro area, who's urban area bleeds in it's county. Not many metros of 380k have a core city 15 minutes from Ikea, or 40 minutes from Neiman's and Gucci.

I live in Grand Rapids which is largely considered a smaller somewhat conservative metro. I've never felt uncomfortable being gay, and I absolutely love where I live. I lived in Paducah Kentucky which barely registers as a micropolitan area. Paducah had a surprisingly visible gay community, guys openly holding hands, hopping gay establishments ect. I miss little Paducah, there are a lot of elements that give it so much character.

This underlying narrative you're pushing, questioning if you can be happy and gay in a smaller metro is somewhat disingenuous. I've lived all over the country and met miserable and happy people everywhere. The only thing that separated them was their mindset. If you don't want to like someone, something, some place, you can find endless ways to validate your dislike. The same thing happens in reverse if you do. It has very little to do with the size of the place or if you're gay or not. I don't meet someone and say "Hi my name is Matt, I'm gay. That's all there is to know about me." Why on earth would I look for a place to live that way.
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Old 02-06-2017, 05:36 AM
 
56,656 posts, read 80,952,685 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nep321 View Post
I am gay and have never lived in a small metropolitan area. I have always lived in medium sized metro areas, as well as NYC, which is extra large. If you are gay, would you mind chiming in on what life is like in a small city/metro? Do you plan to stay or leave? Are you happy, depressed or neutral about it? What is your age? Do you want a relationship or are you currently in one?

Apparently there are places that are small, but gay friendly, such as Burlington VT, Ann Arbor MI, Tallahassee FL and Eugene OR. But are gay people actually happy living in these places?
Major college towns, in general, would likely work.
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Old 02-06-2017, 06:11 AM
 
Location: Phoenix
5,648 posts, read 7,451,793 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mjlo View Post
As a gay man I somewhat resent this. I suppose you could be trying to generate conversation the way you sometimes do. Being happy or not happy in a place is almost 100% dependent on the given persons attitude. Keep in mind that as a "small metro" Ann Arbor is immediately adjacent to a 4million plus metro area, who's urban area bleeds in it's county. Not many metros of 380k have a core city 15 minutes from Ikea, or 40 minutes from Neiman's and Gucci.

I live in Grand Rapids which is largely considered a smaller somewhat conservative metro. I've never felt uncomfortable being gay, and I absolutely love where I live. I lived in Paducah Kentucky which barely registers as a micropolitan area. Paducah had a surprisingly visible gay community, guys openly holding hands, hopping gay establishments ect. I miss little Paducah, there are a lot of elements that give it so much character.

This underlying narrative you're pushing, questioning if you can be happy and gay in a smaller metro is somewhat disingenuous. I've lived all over the country and met miserable and happy people everywhere. The only thing that separated them was their mindset. If you don't want to like someone, something, some place, you can find endless ways to validate your dislike. The same thing happens in reverse if you do. It has very little to do with the size of the place or if you're gay or not. I don't meet someone and say "Hi my name is Matt, I'm gay. That's all there is to know about me." Why on earth would I look for a place to live that way.
I want to piggy-back off of your statements. Some of the most accepting, genuine, and gay-friendly people I have ever met have lived/still live in small metros. On the other hand, some of my self-proclaimed accepting friends and acquaintances (both gay and straight) who grew up in smaller metros and subsequently moved to larger metros like Cleveland, the Bay Area, and Seattle have turned into thought police for everything and have become some of the most annoying, pretentious, non-accepting, intolerant, and judgmental people.
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Old 02-06-2017, 06:48 AM
 
21,197 posts, read 30,388,339 times
Reputation: 19627
Quote:
Originally Posted by nep321 View Post
I am gay and have never lived in a small metropolitan area. I have always lived in medium sized metro areas, as well as NYC, which is extra large. If you are gay, would you mind chiming in on what life is like in a small city/metro? Do you plan to stay or leave? Are you happy, depressed or neutral about it? What is your age? Do you want a relationship or are you currently in one?

Apparently there are places that are small, but gay friendly, such as Burlington VT, Ann Arbor MI, Tallahassee FL and Eugene OR. But are gay people actually happy living in these places?
Happy, depressed or neutral can apply to anyone living anywhere. It's not about gay or straight, rather one's attitude and outlook on life in general. I live as a gay man in Sanford FL, population 56K which is a good half hour away from the "gay culture" in Orlando. Sanford has had a somewhat conservative past like many small towns in the US, and like many it's evolving into a somewhat progressive place to live. Our downtown historic district has dozens of very out LGBT residents who live happily with zero issues and are well integrated into the community professionally and socially. I know of similar towns across Central Florida where it's the same...towns like Mount Dora, St Augustine, Melbourne and Gulfport (none of which are the stereotypical college town). Multiply that geography across the US and you're easily looking at a couple of hundred similar towns with lots of happy LGBT citizens. The days of huddling in gay ghettos within big cities or progressive college towns that were islands in a sea of intolerance surrounding them thankfully ended a good 10-15 years ago.
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Old 02-06-2017, 12:27 PM
 
Location: Cbus
1,721 posts, read 1,403,806 times
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It totally depends where in the metro area too.

When I lived in New Jersey I was in the Princeton area which technically is part of the NYC metro. Absolute ground zero for gay people, very few dating options, almost exclusively families with school aged children, very little sense of community, gay or otherwise.

I live in a medium sized metro area now and love it (for many other reasons) but also find it a good place to be gay in in terms of acceptance, dating options and sense of community.
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Old 02-06-2017, 01:59 PM
 
Location: Jacksonville, FL
11,145 posts, read 14,129,269 times
Reputation: 7075
I live in a medium sized metro now, too (Hartford, CT). And I'm gay.
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