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Old 02-12-2017, 11:12 AM
 
3 posts, read 1,967 times
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Iím hoping to get some guidance from all of you. Iím 39 years old, a social worker, and a lesbian. I currently live in the suburbs of a midwestern city. The city is considered liberal for the midwest, but overall the state is still pretty conservative. Here I can be fired, kicked out of my apartment, and cannot adopt, because I am gay. Because of that itís been years since Iíve met an out lesbian under the age of 60. My dating life is nonexistent.

I want to move someplace where I have a good chance at dating and marriage. I know of many of the cities that attract lesbians, but as a social worker, I am not high income. I currently make $50,000, which is very comfortable here. I need a place I can afford, where I can get by, finish paying off my student loans, and save for retirement. I donít have an extravagant lifestyle. Outside of the basics I spend very little money. Meetups and nature are my main forms of entertainment. Bars, shopping, restaurants are not important to me. Iíve considered leaving social work, but I donít know of another career Iím qualified for without another degree, and Iím still paying off one masterís degree.

I do love to be in nature. Currently with the weather here in Missouri I am trapped inside all summer due to the heat and humidity. It literally makes me sick. Winters here are mostly fine, but the last few years the wind often limits my time outside. Iíve lived in the heart of the city before, and am willing to again, but I need access to good trails and green space. My current city is severely lacking.

So those are my three criteria: good for a single, middle aged lesbian for dating, affordable for a social worker, and being outdoors as much as possible. And it would be nice if living a healthy, vegan lifestyle wasnít considered freaky. If I could move to the California coast I would, but I canít afford it.
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Old 02-12-2017, 11:15 AM
 
Location: North State (California)
39,537 posts, read 2,983,837 times
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Maybe inland or Northern California would work? Sacramento & the surrounding towns have plenty of access to nature. I don't know how accepting they are of the lgbt community, as I am not one, but I think it would be ok.
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Old 02-12-2017, 11:39 AM
 
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You might consider Atlanta which has a massive LGBT community and especially high numbers of Lesbians in the very desirable suburbs of Decatur, North Decatur and North Druid Hills. According to City-Data the area has the third largest concentration of Lesbians in the US behind only Northampton MA and Santa Fe NM. The Atlanta metro area is massive and pretty consistently deep blue politically so you don't have that isolated effect versus surrounding areas, and the job market is extremely strong so perhaps finding work even beyond your current occupation could be a good bit easier than most cities. The cost of living is conducive to your salary and you would be able to live comfortably. North Georgia has many outdoor recreation opportunities including the Chattahoochee River, Lake Lanier and the southern tie of the Blue Ridge Mountains all within an hour to hour and a half from the northside suburbs mentioned. Lastly there is a strong presence of vegetarians and vegans, so you wouldn't feel an outcast there either.

Atlanta Outdoors - Plan Outdoor Adventures in Atlanta
https://www.happycow.net/north_ameri...orgia/atlanta/
https://www.happycow.net/north_ameri...orgia/decatur/
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Old 02-12-2017, 11:42 AM
 
Location: TOVCCA
8,452 posts, read 11,437,888 times
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MSW or LCSW? Big difference in employment options. Here are state requirements:

https://socialworklicensemap.com/bec.../lmsw-vs-lcsw/

Maybe you already can sit for a license with your experience?
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Old 02-12-2017, 11:44 AM
 
Location: Los Angeles
4,141 posts, read 918,418 times
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Try Portland, OR. I lived there for 5 years and knew a lot of married, happy lesbians.
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Old 02-12-2017, 11:55 AM
 
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I have my LMSW. I don't do mental health, so a LCSW would be a waste of time and money for me here. Plus a LCSW license from MO would not transfer to another state. If I get one it would be after moving.

I hadn't considered Atlanta, because I thought it was hot and humid, worse than here. I'll look in to it. I have heard it's a good place in general for LGBT, but most of the dating stuff I've read was about people in their 20s.

I've read great things about Portland, but from what I've seen my salary would probably go down. I don't know if I can afford it, but if I could I'd love to go. I've been to Seattle and loved the weather (yes, I like cloudy and rainy).

I've read good things about Sacramento in general, but I haven't found anything that indicates whether or not I'd have a good chance at dating. It does seem accepting to couples.

Here is somewhat accepting to couples, but all the ones I know met their partners someplace else, then moved here. The lesbian dating scene is surprisingly minimal. My last two relationships were with women who insisted the relationship be closeted because they were (rightly) afraid of losing their jobs. That gets old.
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Old 02-12-2017, 01:01 PM
 
Location: Los Angeles
4,141 posts, read 918,418 times
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Sacramento is very accepting of LGBT people. A lot of gays and lesbians moved there from the Bay Area for affordable housing, and midtown is now somewhat of a mini-Castro. I'm gay and have friends throughout the Central Valley and people there are generally friendly and accepting. You may also want to consider Southern California (Riverside) it's more affordable than LA and has a good size community, it's also not too far from Palm Springs. I live in the San Gabriel Valley and it's outrageously expensive. Good Luck
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Old 02-12-2017, 01:31 PM
 
Location: Mid-Atlantic
25,014 posts, read 23,908,277 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by hikerchloe View Post
I hadn't considered Atlanta, because I thought it was hot and humid, worse than here. I'll look in to it. I have heard it's a good place in general for LGBT, but most of the dating stuff I've read was about people in their 20s.
I think it's hot and humid, and I used to live in North Carolina--which is also hot and humid.

Most dating happens when people are in their 20s and 30s.
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Old 02-12-2017, 01:33 PM
 
21,188 posts, read 30,366,193 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by hikerchloe View Post
I hadn't considered Atlanta, because I thought it was hot and humid, worse than here. I'll look in to it. I have heard it's a good place in general for LGBT, but most of the dating stuff I've read was about people in their 20s.
Atlanta can be hot and humid for the worst couple of months of summer (July and August), like pretty much everywhere else in the country. It's not a constant and certainly isn't Florida or Texas like, which makes sense if one looks on a map at where Atlanta is actually located. In terms of age Dekalb County has an average age of 35, and within Decatur proper it's 38. In addition more than a third of all residents are single, so that's hardly an issue either from a numbers perspective.
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Old 02-12-2017, 01:50 PM
 
3 posts, read 1,967 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Gerania View Post
Most dating happens when people are in their 20s and 30s.
Exactly. I would have loved to dated more, but living someplace so conservative, it wasn't happening.

I know lots of places are very accepting of gay people, but finding a place with single lesbians near my age has proven to be more challenging than I expected.
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