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Old 02-16-2017, 11:13 PM
 
Location: Seattle
56 posts, read 32,530 times
Reputation: 19

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Hi I am in many ways a very unstereotypical black man with a bachelor's degree and I was honestly wondering where a black man like me would fit in best in the United States. Currently living in Washington state and to be honest I am planning on getting out as fast as I can. It seems like in the northwest as soon as you get outside of Seattle or Portland you are in redneck territory. On top of that I don't think these "progressives" are as open minded as one would think and they seem to have very seriously in stone ways of thinking about black men. An educated brother who isn't on the government plantation and is ambitious seems to boggle their mind.

I'm seems like there are enough black men out here that choose a life that is glamorized by the media that in addition to being a ridiculously small percentage of blacks out here that I am fighting a losing battle for the most part.

As far as dating I don't know if I would describe it racism but I have been told I am very good looking plenty of times, but time and time again it seems a woman out here would rather be with a broke, socially awkward white man before even considering being with a brother. I mean there are the overweight fat white women with kids that are always looking and forward at that but that's never been my cup of tea. Seems like most of the good looking black women would rather date a white man out here too.

I'm not trying to come off racist and I have been raised in private schools and a predominately white environment my entire life so it feels a little weird even asking this. My logic is simple, If so many women state "no black men" on their profiles, even in real life they say that they " just don't find them attractive". And this being the majority of good looking white women out here which again is the majority, am I better off looking somewhere else? I'm not saying it's all women out here because some attractive women do approach me and I have had girlfriends out here but it does seem like I am fighting some culturralt forces out here and I have to put in like 5X the effort than I would if I lived in a more suited area.

If so where could this be? I've considered the Cleveland Pittsburgh area but I would love any suggestions if anyone had the time. I don't really care about crime. Lived in or around rougher areas my entire life just don't want to live in a somalia
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Old 02-17-2017, 09:32 AM
 
26,160 posts, read 15,360,013 times
Reputation: 17235
Welcome

Where I live we have a couple black families in the neighbourhood and Ya know what,I love them both...... They are sweet people...........

I would say go whereever your heart tells you you belong,you have just as much right to go anywhere as anyone does!!! (Im tired of ppl cutting certain groups down -- ANY GROUP CAN BE BAD)


Good luck my friend!
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Old 02-17-2017, 09:34 AM
 
17,643 posts, read 36,119,821 times
Reputation: 10159
You've posted in the wrong forum here. I've asked a moderator to move your post to where it belongs and will get the most responses to your questions. Good luck!
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Old 02-17-2017, 09:56 AM
 
Location: Seattle
56 posts, read 32,530 times
Reputation: 19
Thanks!I tried to edit it but I'm really bad with it and on a phone.
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Old 02-17-2017, 09:59 AM
 
2,729 posts, read 5,149,602 times
Reputation: 1938
Quote:
Originally Posted by Snagers234 View Post
Hi I am in many ways a very unstereotypical black man with a bachelor's degree and I was honestly wondering where a black man like me would fit in best in the United States. Currently living in Washington state and to be honest I am planning on getting out as fast as I can. It seems like in the northwest as soon as you get outside of Seattle or Portland you are in redneck territory. On top of that I don't think these "progressives" are as open minded as one would think and they seem to have very seriously in stone ways of thinking about black men. An educated brother who isn't on the government plantation and is ambitious seems to boggle their mind.

I'm seems like there are enough black men out here that choose a life that is glamorized by the media that in addition to being a ridiculously small percentage of blacks out here that I am fighting a losing battle for the most part.

As far as dating I don't know if I would describe it racism but I have been told I am very good looking plenty of times, but time and time again it seems a woman out here would rather be with a broke, socially awkward white man before even considering being with a brother. I mean there are the overweight fat white women with kids that are always looking and forward at that but that's never been my cup of tea. Seems like most of the good looking black women would rather date a white man out here too.

I'm not trying to come off racist and I have been raised in private schools and a predominately white environment my entire life so it feels a little weird even asking this. My logic is simple, If so many women state "no black men" on their profiles, even in real life they say that they " just don't find them attractive". And this being the majority of good looking white women out here which again is the majority, am I better off looking somewhere else? I'm not saying it's all women out here because some attractive women do approach me and I have had girlfriends out here but it does seem like I am fighting some culturralt forces out here and I have to put in like 5X the effort than I would if I lived in a more suited area.

If so where could this be? I've considered the Cleveland Pittsburgh area but I would love any suggestions if anyone had the time. I don't really care about crime. Lived in or around rougher areas my entire life just don't want to live in a somalia

There's plenty of that in the suburbs of Portland and Seattle too.
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Old 02-17-2017, 12:49 PM
 
Location: Seattle
56 posts, read 32,530 times
Reputation: 19
Yeah, Ive seen my fair share of that. Don't even get me started. I used to go to EWU a couple years ago and eastern Washington is a completely different animal.
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Old 02-17-2017, 01:10 PM
 
Location: Seattle
565 posts, read 564,050 times
Reputation: 516
What about Tacoma? It's more diverse, and less socially awkward. Nice melting pot, many mixed people. Also consider Los Angeles. There is something for everyone there, lots of options.
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Old 02-17-2017, 03:12 PM
 
Location: Olympia, Washington
1,258 posts, read 700,074 times
Reputation: 1123
Quote:
Originally Posted by blaserbrad View Post
What about Tacoma? It's more diverse, and less socially awkward. Nice melting pot, many mixed people. Also consider Los Angeles. There is something for everyone there, lots of options.
Tacoma isn't much more diverse than Seattle. Latest demographics from Wikipedia:

Quote:
Largest racial groups in Seattle: The 2010 Census indicates that the largest racial group in Seattle is White (69% of the city's population). The next largest group is Asian (14%), followed by Black or African American (8%).
Quote:
In Tacoma 66.27% of the population is Caucasian. In Tacoma 10.55% of the population is African American. In Tacoma 8.67% of the population is Asian.
Have you visited any of those places you mentioned OP? I'd do that before committing to any kind of move. I moved out here (Olympia, Wa) from NYC. Also lived in NJ for a couple years. It's definitely a lot different here than there in terms of demographics but if you think you'd be escaping racism entirely you'd be wrong sadly. Also not to doubt you OP but what are the "rough areas" out here? I've never seen anything bad. People seem to always talk about how bad Tacoma is but I've been there several times and always found it rather nice. If you want to see some "rough areas" east coast cities have that but if you had a choice I'm not sure why you would want to live in that type of environment if you didn't have to. I've lived in a couple bad areas in NYC and it's not something I'd ever want to go back to.

Last edited by fluffydelusions; 02-17-2017 at 03:26 PM..
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Old 02-17-2017, 04:00 PM
 
Location: Seattle
56 posts, read 32,530 times
Reputation: 19
I was raised in Tacoma. It's not the best option. But if I have to choose Tacoma I might as well move to a different part of the country while I get further in my career. My problem with Tacoma is the the drug and ghetto culture that permeates it. Also these are not the blacks you want to be around that live in Tacoma. The demographics don't tell the entire story here. Most people assume I'm selling something if they didn't know me growing up or from church.
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Old 02-17-2017, 04:52 PM
 
Location: Olympia, Washington
1,258 posts, read 700,074 times
Reputation: 1123
Quote:
Originally Posted by Snagers234 View Post
Most people assume I'm selling something if they didn't know me growing up or from church.
That stereotype exists outside of Tacoma and is a lot worse in many other parts of the country. Sames goes for drugs and gangs obviously. How about this list:

2016 10 Best Cities for African Americans | Livability

The only place I've been on that list is Springfield, Mass which I went to back in the early 90's. Couldn't even tell you what it's like now.
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