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Old 05-06-2017, 02:56 PM
 
Location: Appalachian New York, Formerly Louisiana
4,101 posts, read 4,737,517 times
Reputation: 5374

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Parhe View Post
There is still a nice way to say the truth. And the truth isn't very much help with something that I have very little to no control over (I have been working on it long term and have made improvements) and I am very much aware of.

As for friendly people talking behind your back, that's found throughout the US. Kind of like the movie "Mean Girls;" there are "nice people" throughout the nation who will talk bad behind your back, and they aren't exactly rare anywhere.
I know that's everywhere. It's just that people who are nasty tend to be pretty up front about it up here.

As far as a nice way to tell the truth, I know. I'm not somebody who goes around telling people they stink and need a bath. But if somebody asks me, "hey dude do I smell?" I am gonna say yes if it's the answer.

I'm not advocating that people be awful to each other; if you think that then we have a misunderstanding here. What I am saying is that if somebody is a terrible person, I prefer to know it sooner than later. I'd rather they not be polite to me and then pull a personality 180 the next time we meet.
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Old 05-06-2017, 03:32 PM
 
Location: 352
5,122 posts, read 3,885,371 times
Reputation: 3491
Quote:
Originally Posted by CookieSkoon View Post
The south isn't friendlier it has just held itself to a different standard of public interaction.

People are more likely to betray you in the south, in my experience. Smile to your face and talk about you when you aren't around.

People in the north are more genuine. If we have no interest in you, you know it. If we are friendly and chatty, you know it. Nearly no second guessing involved. You get what you see up here and I prefer that. No need to bandy about some fake warmth for show.
All I'll say is "bless your heart" is not an endearing phrase.
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Old 05-06-2017, 04:26 PM
 
Location: Appalachian New York, Formerly Louisiana
4,101 posts, read 4,737,517 times
Reputation: 5374
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jandrew5 View Post
All I'll say is "bless your heart" is not an endearing phrase.
Neither is "Idiot" but one of them is far more obvious to everybody.
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Old 05-06-2017, 05:54 PM
 
29,944 posts, read 27,386,421 times
Reputation: 18522
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jandrew5 View Post
All I'll say is "bless your heart" is not an endearing phrase.
It can be; it's a versatile phrase and the meaning depends on the context. It can certainly be used in a backhanded fashion though, that's for sure.
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Old 05-06-2017, 06:32 PM
 
Location: 352
5,122 posts, read 3,885,371 times
Reputation: 3491
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mutiny77 View Post
It can be; it's a versatile phrase and the meaning depends on the context. It can certainly be used in a backhanded fashion though, that's for sure.
Its definitely used backhanded majority of the time, even if unintentional.
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Old 05-07-2017, 05:38 AM
 
Location: Wonderland
44,840 posts, read 36,186,607 times
Reputation: 63509
Quote:
Originally Posted by CookieSkoon View Post
Polite is fine. I don't think there's a lot of honesty though. I prefer when people are just themselves, warts and all.

If somebody is rude, they'd better be rude. That way everybody knows they are rude. Makes it easier to find the genuinely nice people.

Also it probably shocks people to death but, politeness exists in the north too. As well rudeness in the south. There are always exceptions even to my rule.

I am talking in generalizations here so don't think what I am saying applies to every single person from wherever. In general, however, this has been my experience.

I don't hate the south, I don't even resent it. I am going to be forward about the reality though: the south is simply not nicer. Just different.

It's okay to be criticized, you know.

I hope you noticed that I never said a single negative thing about people from the North or regions outside the South, right? And you know why? Because my southern mama raised me to be more polite than that. If you think that's somehow less than "honest," well, I can't help all that.
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Old 05-07-2017, 05:42 AM
 
Location: Wonderland
44,840 posts, read 36,186,607 times
Reputation: 63509
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jandrew5 View Post
All I'll say is "bless your heart" is not an endearing phrase.
But see, that's not even really true. Sometimes "Bless your heart" IS an endearing phrase. For instance, if my little granddaughter brought me a handful of flowers from the yard, I'd say, "Oh, sweetie, bless your heart!" and I would mean it in a TOTALLY endearing way.

And her mama would know exactly what I meant, too.
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Old 05-07-2017, 05:47 AM
 
7,981 posts, read 3,466,719 times
Reputation: 11231
The south has kept the wages down. They coudn't get away with that everywhere. The south is anti union also. That may have something to do with the low wages...
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Old 05-07-2017, 06:27 AM
 
Location: Floribama
15,024 posts, read 31,400,710 times
Reputation: 13812
Quote:
Originally Posted by CookieSkoon View Post
I know that's everywhere. It's just that people who are nasty tend to be pretty up front about it up here.

As far as a nice way to tell the truth, I know. I'm not somebody who goes around telling people they stink and need a bath. But if somebody asks me, "hey dude do I smell?" I am gonna say yes if it's the answer.

I'm not advocating that people be awful to each other; if you think that then we have a misunderstanding here. What I am saying is that if somebody is a terrible person, I prefer to know it sooner than later. I'd rather they not be polite to me and then pull a personality 180 the next time we meet.
It don't know, being rude to the wrong people down here may just get you an ass whoopin'. It's kinda like car horns, people up north honk at each other all the time and don't think anything of it, but if you honk at someone down here they take it personally and may just pull out a gun.
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Old 05-07-2017, 08:44 AM
 
Location: Norfolk, VA
6,383 posts, read 6,005,983 times
Reputation: 3558
I like both. But I'm from the Midwest. The North is rude, and brutally honest, which I don't mind because a lot of Midwesterners are the same way. The South, I don't find it to be dishonest, but I do find the honesty to be like a backhanded thing. In other words you might not realize what was said until after the fact. You don't get that much up North; if you're slow, then of course you won't know what someone is really saying but if you're perceptive you can pick up on it right away. South just has a different way of communicating.

But the South does hold people to a different standard. You can't just be an a_hole in the South like you can up North. People will remember the fact that you're an a_hole, and a lot of people simply won't deal with you. It can get personal with some people. Up North, you have people whose circle of friends are other a_holes like themselves and they would actually prefer to deal with you if you're that same way. So it skewers your perception of people because those are the only people you're interacting with, and it's no big deal.

The North also self segregates. So you can be around like minded people and never have to deal with anyone else. You can create that life for yourself up North. I'm not so much talking about race, although that does exist, but just your general, overall mindset. Your politics, schools of thought, religion, everything. People are very segregated up North. The South things tend to be different in the larger cities. Everyone seems to get along. Rural South it can go either way, but in general, rural people, in the South, even if they are prejudiced, etc will treat you better than another rural person of your own race up North.

I've been in the South 10, 15 years? Lets say more than 10 less than 15. Some Virginia, some West Virginia. Depending on who you're dealing with it is what you think it is, and it is not what you think it is. It can be varied. I like the larger cities in the South. I do notice that there are a lot of Blacks in rural areas where there may not be up North, so you get more exposure to different perspectives in the larger metropolitan areas in the South than you would in a city like Chicago, Detroit, or New York, up North. The cities down South melt away into their rural counties you don't have the hard, rigid, lines between the city and the country that exist up North. I don't really consider myself to be a Northerner in the classical sense because I'm not from the Northeast. But I guess I do have tendencies, or sentiments, that are Northern, if that means anything. Personally, I think everyone should spend time somewhere other than what they take for granted. Just so that they know for sure, rather than assume. Things are not always what someone else said they would be.
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