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Old 05-26-2017, 09:31 AM
 
Location: Denver, CO
760 posts, read 588,716 times
Reputation: 1482

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What you are experiencing is very common with what I've heard from people here. So many people are moving here, and the place seems to be changing drastically by the second. Sadly, it's no longer a good place to raise a kid and start a family. People are just coming for the experience, only to bail after a few years. I also think Colorado suffers from paradise syndrome, where people become blind sighted by the Rockies, or the weather, and tend to over look the other negative aspects.

I am single without a kid, so my experience is probably a lot different...but I definitely feel where you are coming from. Making friends here is hard. It seems like every time you make a connection, they are moving away in 4-6 months. The only things keeping me here myself are my job, and my hobbies. My typical week is 2 days out climbing, 2 days out mountain biking, and then usually a night or two of dispersed camping. If it were not for those things, I would not have anything to stay for. So like many other Millennials, once I get burned out, I'll probably leave as well.
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Old 05-26-2017, 09:34 AM
 
5,612 posts, read 6,087,367 times
Reputation: 4184
They say it takes 2 yrs to adjust. I would suggest moving elsewhere.

I lived in Memphis for over 5 years and could never adjust to the people and the culture it took 3 weeks for me to say what did I do. The city was way too small and people where too narrow.

Then I ran from Memphis to Chicago it took maybe 6 months for me to adjust and start making friends. Once again 2 years for me to figure the city out.

I moved back to St Louis 3 years ago and was so afraid of the city being the same as it was 20 years ago when I left but it wasn't. I made new friends within 6 months and it took about 2 years for me to relearn the city again because so much had changed.

My advice for you is to not invest anymore time then you have to. Leave before your children get older and may experience issues adjusting. If you are unhappy they will be unhappy.
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Old 05-26-2017, 01:46 PM
 
31 posts, read 43,651 times
Reputation: 45
Quote:
Originally Posted by mjtinmemphis View Post

If you are unhappy they will be unhappy.
I've started to recognize this. Originally, the move was mostly for my son's benefit, but now I'm starting to think he wouldn't want his mom feeling isolated, lonely and displaced for the rest of my life either.
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Old 05-26-2017, 01:50 PM
 
31 posts, read 43,651 times
Reputation: 45
Quote:
Originally Posted by MN_Ski View Post
What you are experiencing is very common with what I've heard from people here. So many people are moving here, and the place seems to be changing drastically by the second. Sadly, it's no longer a good place to raise a kid and start a family. People are just coming for the experience, only to bail after a few years. I also think Colorado suffers from paradise syndrome, where people become blind sighted by the Rockies, or the weather, and tend to over look the other negative aspects.
Unfortunately, I was never one of those people who was drawn to the Rocky Mountains. I purely came here because my parents had been living here in their retirement for the past 15 years, and I desperately needed their support especially when my son was just a baby. Don't get me wrong, it's beautiful here. I love the open space. But, my main motivators in life are not rock climbing, mountain biking, hiking, etc. I enjoy those activities from time to time, but would not consider staying solely for those experiences. However, I had thought the culture would grow on me, and I would adapt over time.

Also, being bombarded with native attitudes towards transplants doesn't help me to feel like it's my home too.
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Old 05-26-2017, 03:28 PM
 
Location: 3219'03.7"N 10643'55.9"W
8,114 posts, read 17,321,756 times
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I am reading a book that speaks to this condition, it's called "The Complacent Class" by Tyler Cowen. He argues that because of changes in societal values that we have become more risk averse when it comes to mobility, both with moving from region to region, and within the home itself. He argues that we drawn into our homes more and more because we have every conceivable delivery service and technological form of entertainment that keeps us there. He argues that this, in turn, leads to passivity and that we wait for entertainment to be delivered, which pacifies that contentment by keeping us in the home more than ever before. So, if you look at a move from this lens, you might be more likely than ever before to keep to yourself, in your home. It's a theory that I think has a lot of bearing. If one maintains this posture, then adapting to a new region or state might be more difficult than it has ever been.


I think this is a very engaging examination, authored by Cowen.


How Complacent Are You? Take the Quiz! - Tyler Cowen


Take it. I, myself, scored in the striver category, though I thought I would do better than that.


By the way, it took me about 4 years to adjust to another region, a move similar to your own, from New Jersey to New Mexico in my case. Then I moved halfway back to Missouri, which was tougher. Now I am back in New Mexico again, and hope to be able to stay here until my kids graduate high school. Then it's off to the next adventure.
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Old 05-28-2017, 10:54 AM
 
Location: Kennedy Heights, Ohio. USA
1,819 posts, read 1,493,187 times
Reputation: 1424
Welcome to the future where many in society have no need to connect to one another on a personal level anymore due to one's ability connect to others online with the simple click of a mouse. Transplants from another region to most other regions in this day and age will have a harder time making friends and finding a community feel where newcomers will feel welcome. A good segment of today's population were raised in an environment where one did not need to leave the home to find entertainment and social fulfillment due to technology. People do not feel the need to make friends or form social connections when they already have social networks online and no shortage of ways to amuse and entertain themselves in the comfort of their home.

Good luck wherever you go. Technology has just plain changed the way society interacts with one another. Some places may buck the trend but eventually the trend will reach those places too eventually. People are generally either suspicious, paranoid or just plain disinterested with newcomers and strangers nowadays. People's social network today will be generally be with people whom they have had childhood bonds ,common memories and experiences with.

Maybe a place with a high number of transients would be a place to relocate to due to the shared mindsets, commonalities and aspirations.
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Old 05-29-2017, 07:09 AM
 
Location: City of North Las Vegas, NV
11,290 posts, read 7,876,170 times
Reputation: 3018
Here's a great site which can help you, go to meetup.com and enter your location and interest such as hiking, wine drinkers, singles or whatever else you can think of and join them in a group. It usually costs nothing and you meet many nice people with similar interests. When I first moved here in Nevada, I discovered it and met lots of people who were also hikers. More than ten years later, most of my friends are still hikers. Believe me it works especially if you love the outdoors. Outdoors people I would say are nicer in the way that nature opens them up.

Furthermore, if this can happen in Las Vegas where everyone moves from somewhere else, I am sure in can happen easier in Colorado. Good luck.
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