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Old 05-25-2017, 08:31 PM
 
31 posts, read 43,687 times
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I moved from New England to Colorado two years ago, but it might as well have been yesterday. I don't have any friends. I've tried all the usual tricks for finding friends (work, gym, meetups, volunteering, hobby-based, online, nightlife, mom groups, etc), but I don't seem to click with anyone. I also couldn't find a job in my field, so I ended up taking whatever I could find, and the wage is really low. I still don't feel like this place is 'home', and I often get very sad as a result.

I've read it can take time to adapt to a new city, but as I pass the two year mark I'm starting to wonder if maybe Colorado just isn't the right fit for me. Have you ever moved somewhere, and had it take years and years to finally build a life there? Or, should I cut my losses, and find someplace that's more of an instant fit?

Last edited by intrinsiknergy; 05-25-2017 at 08:40 PM..
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Old 05-25-2017, 08:39 PM
 
Location: Cbus
1,721 posts, read 1,401,953 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by intrinsiknergy View Post
I moved from New England to Colorado two years ago, but it might as well have been yesterday. I don't have any friends. I've tried all the usual tricks for finding friends (work, gym, meetups, volunteering, hobby-based, online, nightlife, mom groups, et), but I don't seem to click with anyone. I also couldn't find a job in my field, so I ended up taking whatever I could find, and the wage is really low. I still don't feel like this place is 'home', and I often get very sad as a result.

I've read it can take time to adapt to a new city, but as I pass the two year mark I'm starting to wonder if maybe Colorado just isn't the right fit for me. Have you ever moved somewhere, and had it take years and years to finally build a life there? Or, should I cut my losses, and find someplace that's more of an instant fit?
What's keeping you in Colorado and why did you leave New England in the first place?

No social network, low wage job and it's making you sad to be there. To me it sounds like you should start looking for jobs elsewhere and get out.
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Old 05-25-2017, 08:41 PM
 
Location: Nashville TN, Cincinnati, OH
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I do not know much about Colorado but it is a really trendy place to move to right now so the competition for jobs could be fierce. I would try to move back home to New England or research a new place to live. Life is too short to be unhappy where you live.
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Old 05-25-2017, 08:50 PM
 
31 posts, read 43,687 times
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I moved here with my son to be closer to my parents. I'm a single mum.
I could move someplace new, but not sure where. I just want to make sure I'm not giving up on CO too early, and I also want to make sure I don't make another mistake and up end exactly in the same situation I'm in now.
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Old 05-25-2017, 09:00 PM
 
Location: Silicon Valley
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I think it's important to consider your son's wishes now. You've already moved him once. If he hates it, too, then it's a no-brainer. If he's got new friends and likes his new school and has settled in, etc., I think that's a different story.

Is it good or bad being close to your folks? That can go either way.
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Old 05-25-2017, 09:07 PM
 
31 posts, read 43,687 times
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Originally Posted by NoMoreSnowForMe View Post
I think it's important to consider your son's wishes now. You've already moved him once. If he hates it, too, then it's a no-brainer. If he's got new friends and likes his new school and has settled in, etc., I think that's a different story.

Is it good or bad being close to your folks? That can go either way.
My son is only 3 yrs old, so he wouldn't really care either way. We have playdates with other kids from time to time, but he doesn't have a school or any particular friends.

My parents are super cool, so being close to them is not an issue. If I move, they will move with us.
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Old 05-25-2017, 10:42 PM
Status: "could've~would've~should've used 'have', not 'of'" (set 19 days ago)
 
Location: A Yankee in northeast TN
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Unless you're staying because you're building towards something such as a good career, earning enough for a nice nest egg, family stability, etc, I think you should cut your losses and move. Take enough time to try to figure out why this didn't feel like a fit and do a ton of research before picking your next place. In a few years your son will be in school and a move will be harder. Don't stay in a place that hasn't made you happy in two years, that's more than enough time to have given it a chance to grow on you.
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Old 05-25-2017, 11:04 PM
 
31 posts, read 43,687 times
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Originally Posted by DubbleT View Post
Unless you're staying because you're building towards something such as a good career, earning enough for a nice nest egg, family stability, etc, I think you should cut your losses and move. Take enough time to try to figure out why this didn't feel like a fit and do a ton of research before picking your next place. In a few years your son will be in school and a move will be harder. Don't stay in a place that hasn't made you happy in two years, that's more than enough time to have given it a chance to grow on you.
The original goal was to build toward something. But, everything has fallen flat since day one. Every time I think I'm taking a step forward, I'm actually just standing in the same place I was before. I do spend a lot of time trying to hone in on why this place feels so isolating to me. Everything looks good on paper, CO has a lot to offer. But, for some reason, I'm not thriving here.
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Old 05-26-2017, 12:30 AM
 
Location: Minneapolis, MN
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Everyone adapts differently. Some never will if the place isn't for them. If you feel you'd be happier back in New England or elsewhere, I'd say just plan to move out. Your kid is 3, he's still young enough that it won't be a huge deal. I wouldn't wanna live somewhere where I don't have many or any friends or feel at home. Life's too short.

Was there anything else that brought you out of New England besides being closer to family? My friend is in a similar boat. She moved to Virginia, wanting to get out of Texas (only other place she lived before was in Kansas but only for a month) and moved in with a long distance friend and her family. Weird situation in my opinion, but thats what she did and now she's telling me she feels she's just living to survive and is not happy anymore, and is moving in with her sister in IRONICALLY, Colorado. Go figure!

But if yer not happy there, I'd say try to find home somewhere else while you still got the chance. Your family will always be there, and if they will move with you even better. But I'd do it before your kid gets older as this is the best time to start a new clean slate.
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Old 05-26-2017, 08:50 AM
 
31 posts, read 43,687 times
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The reasons I moved to CO was to have support from my parents, and it seemed like a much healthier environment to raise a son with all the outdoor activities. Plus the town feels very safe, and has a community feel where people seem to take a little more time for each other. Strangely, none of that has translated for me.
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