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Old 07-07-2017, 07:09 AM
Location: Elgin, IL
726 posts, read 550,249 times
Reputation: 417


Originally Posted by DSMHawk View Post
Obviously this is a personal choice for you and your family, with lots of variables at play...that being said, here was my experience, which shares a lot of similarities.

My wife and I met when we both lived in Washington, DC. We are both from the midwest - Iowa and Wisconsin, so daydreaming about one-day returning to the midwest was something we bonded over as a couple. The desire to be closer to family, to start our own family and the generally high COL in DC eventually pushed us to Chicago...where we lived for 3 years, got married, had a baby...then moved again to Madison...where we bought a house and now live 1 mile from my in-laws (cue ominous music).

One factor that played into our ability to move was that my partner's job is portable - she was able to move twice, keeping the same job + salary.

Bottom line, there are tradeoffs.

Pro: Madison is a smaller, more affordable city than both Chicago and (especially) DC, but still big enough to be considered a city
Pro: Free day-care + other forms of grandparental support
Pro: Madison has an excellent beer scene, good access to outdoors, a focus on active, healthy living, good schools, etc - all things that are important to us.
Pro: The size makes the entire city accessible, easy to get involved in things of interest, etc. I guess easier to be a bigger fish in a smaller pond.

Con: My career took a couple dings - I quit 2 jobs I really enjoyed to get us to Madison, and took a significant paycut to come here. Its going to take a few years to get my career back to where I'm hoping to be.
Con: The in-laws are close - maybe too close!?
Con: We miss city living. We live in Madison, but in a SFH in a neighborhood far less dense than we were used to in Chicago/DC. We sometimes wish we'd stuck it out in DC, raised our family in a condo, etc.
Con: I'm struggling to make friends. As a 30-something with a toddler, I don't have much opportunity to put consistent effort into building and sustaining friendships.

Bottom line, the grass is always greener. I'm happy to be in Madison, because I didn't really love Chicago. I really miss DC, though. But, if we moved back to DC, after 3 years there I'd probably tell you I miss the Midwest again. You probably won't know if its the right move for you until you do it.
Yes sounds like a similar situation for sure. Making friends is REALLY important as I can tell you definitely understand. It's another reason we've been wanting to leave. We're also both from the midwest (I'm from Ohio). Not sure what it is that always makes people want to leave and then come back, hahah. Nashville is a great city for a ton of reasons, which is why so many people are moving here and everything is BOOMING. That said, it's such a transient culture. We've had multiple friend groups, most of which have kind of faded away. We're tired of constantly trying to build friendships in hopes that they will be great people to get to know in the long term, when so many people either move away or just invest elsewhere.
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Old 07-07-2017, 07:50 AM
Location: Saint John, IN
11,043 posts, read 3,980,532 times
Reputation: 13557
We moved to St. John, Indiana last year from Plainfield Illinois. Our property taxes went from $10,500 to $3K! Our schools are better also. We're 35 miles to downtown Chicago. https://www.stjohnin.com/ Another good option would be Munster, Indiana. It is minutes to the expressway or you could take the Metra train from Hammond. Very good schools and excellent park district! Home / Town of Munster, IN

Illinois is just completely out of control with the taxes and lack of fiscal responsibility. Here's an article about what Illinois passed yesterday in regards to the income tax rate hike.

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Old 07-08-2017, 06:58 AM
Status: "Summer!" (set 14 days ago)
Location: Foot of the Rockies
86,980 posts, read 102,527,356 times
Reputation: 33045
Originally Posted by Kluch View Post
Not sure if this post is best placed in this particular forum or not but I'm looking for opinions...

My wife and I live in Nashville currently. It's where we originally met and where we both moved after our college years. It's a great city for many reasons (and growing exponentially) but for a long time we've debated moving back to the midwest where we're both from, namely the chicago suburbs area to be closer to my wife's family. We now have a 2yo and another baby on the way and it would be great to be closer to family for obvious reasons. Also, my wife's family has had some health concerns the past year and I know we would like to be closer to family in the coming years in regards to other possible health concerns that may or may not come up down the road. Add to the fact that after living here for a while now we don't have many close friends, even after being involved in multiple community and church groups. We probably would have moved back a year or two ago but I got a new job that we felt was a really good move and therefore decided to stay and buy a house (because renting was getting too expensive in the market here). Now we're living in a new home and I've got a good job but we feel the need more than ever to be close to family. What makes it more complicated is that my wife's family wants to move down near where we live (much warmer climate) after her dad retires which is in about 7 yrs. However, anything can happen in 7 yrs. Financially things are much better in Tn than in Chicago - another reason living here is easier. Obviously there are a lot of factors here so I'm wondering has anyone else been in a somewhat similar situation? What did you do?
That sounds like us, some 30+ years ago, here in Denver with family elsewhere. It gets better, or it did for us anyway. Kids make a good connection, especially if your wife is a SAHM. I do agree with not staying there because her family wants to move there in 7 years. In re: your last question, we stayed here.
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Old 07-08-2017, 06:49 PM
4,431 posts, read 2,605,246 times
Reputation: 10289
Kluch: I would stay put.

Fir several reasons.

1) if you have an excellent job and can easily afford your home, stay put. If the area is still growing in 7 years, you might be priced out of the market then.

2) if they are planning to move to your area, then stay put. They will be along soon enough and will still have growing years with your kids when they get there.

3) you have read and agree that Illinois is in trouble, I just heard it yesterday on NPR radio about Illinois' insolvency.

Lastly, NEVER move just to be near family ( although that is what they will do), why? It might not work out like you think. I have known many people who have chased family all over tarnation only to be very unhappy, especially if that family has little time to coddle them.

Let your FIL retire, and let Them decide what to do, where to go. Better weather is great for them I am sure.

What you could do, is suggest they pick up a small home down there and you manage it as a rental until they can get there permanently.it will grow in value also if the market does, and if it doesn't suit them they can trade for a new home better suited to them with the proceeds and the proceeds of their Illinois home. If it works well they will have the proceeds from Illinois to live on with a home half paid for in TN if they do a 15 years mortgage, if they can afford it.

If things turn worse health wise, they can always leave Illinois early and retire to TN.

I have moved several places, but have returned "home" where my remaining father is. I have just as few friends here now as I had in a strange place.

Get more involved where you are and open up to other young couples and you should make more friends where you are.

My father told me not to stay here on account of him if I wanted to move elsewhere. But I still see it as my responsibility to look after him and I have been back here for many many years. Makes sense to stay in case he gets I'll, and I can better plan my future where I have known factors here, instead of moving blindly, Even with thorough research and review.plus my 89 year old FIL is here too)

( Our retirement plans are elsewhere).

Best of luck in your decision.
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