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Old 10-18-2017, 10:13 AM
 
1,826 posts, read 1,248,326 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Warszawa View Post
It happens everywhere in the United States honestly, altho maybe not on the same rate as in Seattle. Northeast is the same way, lots of people flaking or not wanting to develop personal relationships, it's annoying. In Russia people are not friendly but when they are friendly it is sincere.
I've never had that happen in Texas. I have had people be nice to you, regardless of whether they hate you or not, but that is called being polite. Never had people cancel, however, after putting in the effort to make plans, at least for reasons I consider fake or a stretch.
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Old 10-18-2017, 10:18 AM
 
Location: Zurich, Switzerland/ Piedmont, CA
32,320 posts, read 55,123,408 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by l1995 View Post
It's because Russians are white, simple as that

Only nonwhite immigrants are looked down on
The solution according to my nonwhite immigrant parents was/is to work and study so hard that it becomes impossible to deny you.
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Old 10-18-2017, 01:04 PM
 
528 posts, read 451,772 times
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Don't worry, Americans don't know what a "Bulgaria" is so they won't discriminate against you for being Bulgarian. Molya
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Old 10-19-2017, 04:47 AM
 
92 posts, read 46,778 times
Reputation: 60
Quote:
Originally Posted by Warszawa View Post
It happens everywhere in the United States honestly, altho maybe not on the same rate as in Seattle. Northeast is the same way, lots of people flaking or not wanting to develop personal relationships, it's annoying. In Russia people are not friendly but when they are friendly it is sincere.
How can you develop close personal relationships in a cold, reserved culture like Russia? To me it seems impossible as I am also a bit shy and been hurt so many times, yet I am always trying to act openly friendly with new people, yet when they are too reserved or even cold I feel dumb for putting any effort. Who has the time to put an enormous effort into being friendly to and trying to melt an ice block of a person? And believe it or not if I buy lots of frozen pizzas and some random stranger asks me "Are you gonna eat all that?" to me this wouldn't bother me, I will feel acknowledged by a fellow human being. Things like that tell me I am not alone here in this new place where I cam knowing no one. But no such things happen in Slavic or most European countries (maybe Italy, Spain and Portugal are the ones where this might happen, Idk). It's very alienating to go to live alone in a Slavic or Germanic culture, you basically have only yourself and often even if you put an effort, people are too reserved to show effort back at developing any kind of close relationship. No more Slavic or Germanic societies for me (except New World ones as English is also a Germanic language per se).

Are people from Minneapolis/St Paul, Cleveland OH and Milwaukee WI friendly?

I already applied for the DV lottery, wish me luck guys!
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Old 10-19-2017, 04:59 AM
 
Location: Boston, MA
11,720 posts, read 8,294,722 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by eriko88 View Post
I am from Bulgaria. This apparently is not cool for Central Europeans, but Western Europeans start acting cold to me once they hear it. Is Canada easier to start from scratch due to it being more social-ist lol? Similar culture and language. I have passed a TOEFL, but need a renewal for Canada. I have a CAE and an American uni degree.
People on this side of the Atlantic won't care if you are from Eastern Europe.
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Old 10-19-2017, 04:32 PM
 
88 posts, read 68,045 times
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It's most likely the weather. Europe lacks sunshine compared to even the least sunny parts of the US. 200+ days of sunshine in most areas and summers that last from April to October beats only 120 days of sunshine and 9 months of chilly rain, at least in Northern Europe. The Sunbelt is even better.
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Old 10-19-2017, 05:38 PM
 
Location: Alexandria, VA, USA
948 posts, read 537,587 times
Reputation: 2181
Quote:
Originally Posted by eriko88 View Post
How can you develop close personal relationships in a cold, reserved culture like Russia? To me it seems impossible as I am also a bit shy and been hurt so many times, yet I am always trying to act openly friendly with new people, yet when they are too reserved or even cold I feel dumb for putting any effort. Who has the time to put an enormous effort into being friendly to and trying to melt an ice block of a person? And believe it or not if I buy lots of frozen pizzas and some random stranger asks me "Are you gonna eat all that?" to me this wouldn't bother me, I will feel acknowledged by a fellow human being. Things like that tell me I am not alone here in this new place where I cam knowing no one. But no such things happen in Slavic or most European countries (maybe Italy, Spain and Portugal are the ones where this might happen, Idk). It's very alienating to go to live alone in a Slavic or Germanic culture, you basically have only yourself and often even if you put an effort, people are too reserved to show effort back at developing any kind of close relationship. No more Slavic or Germanic societies for me (except New World ones as English is also a Germanic language per se).

Are people from Minneapolis/St Paul, Cleveland OH and Milwaukee WI friendly?

I already applied for the DV lottery, wish me luck guys!
In the US, it is better to know people through indirect associations such as work or church, volunteering. Do not try so hard to make friends, they will come to you if you act naturally. Just get involved with something meaningful, and things will happen! Good luck in winning the lottery!
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Old 10-19-2017, 07:05 PM
 
2,289 posts, read 1,293,708 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by evening sun View Post

Plus Americans can be friendly but it is not a deep friendship, when they say drop by sometime, they do not mean stop in soon, it is just a figure of speech. Life is not like the tv shows.
An observer studied different cultures and wrote a book comparing them:

1. She described more reserved nations as coconuts-tough on the outside, sweet on the inside. Initially, strangers will encounter people who are reserved. Eventually, gradually, it may be possible to start a friendship with an otherwise reserved person.

2. She described some nations as peaches-soft on the outside, tough on the inside. A stranger may encounter an initial friendliness, but it will likely take considerable time to develop friendships.

In either culture, there is no shortcut to friendship. And yes, people in a peach culture do develop genuine friendships.
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Old 10-20-2017, 07:30 AM
 
92 posts, read 46,778 times
Reputation: 60
Quote:
Originally Posted by SMF575 View Post
It's most likely the weather. Europe lacks sunshine compared to even the least sunny parts of the US. 200+ days of sunshine in most areas and summers that last from April to October beats only 120 days of sunshine and 9 months of chilly rain, at least in Northern Europe. The Sunbelt is even better.
I saw some maps and wow! I didn't realize that Europe is so bad concerning sunshine hours. You must be right as the most friendly of Europeans are from those countries that are equal to US in sunshine - Bulgaria, Greece, Italy, Spain and Portugal. Romania is the outlier. I am surprised that even Central Europe and France have less sunshine than the US and even parts of Canada! That explains a lot I think as I was dx vitamin D deficient in the UK and was depressed while there.

As my own well-being depends on sunlight, I think I will focus on only the sunniest countries in Europe and the US for vacations, travels and relocation from now on. So far I've been to the less fortunate sun-wise parts of Europe when abroad - UK, Northern France (Paris), Germany, the Netherlands, Belgium, Czech Republic, Hungary and Slovakia. Out of all these Hungarians were the least dour in my experience and the most friendly despite me not knowing even a single word of their language and they don't knowing good English. UK people were polite if not overly friendly, but about the rest I will not say anything as mom taught me if you don't have anything positive to say to not say anything at all.
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Old 10-20-2017, 08:05 AM
 
Location: NYntarctica
11,434 posts, read 6,394,116 times
Reputation: 4340
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tim Randal Walker View Post
An observer studied different cultures and wrote a book comparing them:

1. She described more reserved nations as coconuts-tough on the outside, sweet on the inside. Initially, strangers will encounter people who are reserved. Eventually, gradually, it may be possible to start a friendship with an otherwise reserved person.

2. She described some nations as peaches-soft on the outside, tough on the inside. A stranger may encounter an initial friendliness, but it will likely take considerable time to develop friendships.

In either culture, there is no shortcut to friendship. And yes, people in a peach culture do develop genuine friendships.
US is definite Peach culture
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