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I feel kind of stupid saying this and even asking this, since there are many reasons for it, but I wanted to share my perspective and hope someone could offer feedback or their own experience.
So I spent my high school, college, and 2 years afterwards in the state of Georgia. Went to high school in Gainesville, college at UGA, and worked in Atlanta for a couple of years afterwards. To sum up my story, I struggled a great deal socially and didn't make a lot of good friends, thought something was literally wrong with me.
My years at UGA were socially miserable for the most part with some good highlights here and there. I made some friends but especially when it came to kids from the Atlanta area who ran the social scene there, I was an outcast. Even though I was socially outgoing, I was regularly shut down and many times just kind of ignored. I don't recall ever belonging to any big social groups and at best had light friendships which could count as acquaintances.
Even in Atlanta, I faced similar issues but made some friends. What I found funny was I made friends with transplants from the north, California, and other southern states but never had any traction with people from the local Atlanta area. It always felt like a "what can you do for me" type of situation. Even now I find it funny that my friends from Greek Life went to schools like FSU, Alabama, and Ohio St but hardly any of them went to UGA lol.
Then as soon as I moved to NYC, it is like, what happened....
I immediately made a ton of new friends, get invited to social events every week, and find it easy to connect with others in their 20s. I have friends from northeastern schools who are so welcoming and genuinely want to hang out when they get the time while when I was in Georgia, I failed despite having the same approach.
Even though I am a white guy, I feel like in Georgia I was always on the outside looking in and disrespected but in NYC it is a different story. I actually feel like I am a part of a social group around my age now and like I actually belong.
Anyways, long story but anyone ever gone through something like that?
My fear is I might have to move back to Atlanta for a little bit due to a family situation so helps to know what went wrong.
Yeah I mean larger cities have bigger social scenes and typically a younger population so it makes sense as to why you made friends in NY. I found it easy to make friends in both NY and ATL. Just have to be willing to talk to people and not be awkward.
I know what you mean, and I kind of experienced the same thing going to school out-of-state (I'm from Chicagoland but went to college in Ohio, since I felt I needed to broaden my horizons and not be near my parents). The Ohio kids who made up the vast majority of the student body just seemed to connect on a level that I didn't. I don't think it was that they were unfriendly, though; they just had similar experiences (the same politicians and legal battles, the same state culture, in many cases being from the same cities and knowing one another's high schools) and I wasn't privy to that. I would guess since NYC is more transient and cosmopolitan-minded, the communities there don't feel so insular to you.
Yeah I mean larger cities have bigger social scenes and typically a younger population so it makes sense as to why you made friends in NY. I found it easy to make friends in both NY and ATL. Just have to be willing to talk to people and not be awkward.
You must be a rich frat boy if you made friends easily in Atlanta lol.
I don't think anything is "destined" I think that things just happen lol It's easy to see things as destined when you're looking from the inside out, but life is much more than ourselves.
I feel kind of stupid saying this and even asking this, since there are many reasons for it, but I wanted to share my perspective and hope someone could offer feedback or their own experience.
So I spent my high school, college, and 2 years afterwards in the state of Georgia. Went to high school in Gainesville, college at UGA, and worked in Atlanta for a couple of years afterwards. To sum up my story, I struggled a great deal socially and didn't make a lot of good friends, thought something was literally wrong with me.
My years at UGA were socially miserable for the most part with some good highlights here and there. I made some friends but especially when it came to kids from the Atlanta area who ran the social scene there, I was an outcast. Even though I was socially outgoing, I was regularly shut down and many times just kind of ignored. I don't recall ever belonging to any big social groups and at best had light friendships which could count as acquaintances.
Even in Atlanta, I faced similar issues but made some friends. What I found funny was I made friends with transplants from the north, California, and other southern states but never had any traction with people from the local Atlanta area. It always felt like a "what can you do for me" type of situation. Even now I find it funny that my friends from Greek Life went to schools like FSU, Alabama, and Ohio St but hardly any of them went to UGA lol.
Then as soon as I moved to NYC, it is like, what happened....
I immediately made a ton of new friends, get invited to social events every week, and find it easy to connect with others in their 20s. I have friends from northeastern schools who are so welcoming and genuinely want to hang out when they get the time while when I was in Georgia, I failed despite having the same approach.
Even though I am a white guy, I feel like in Georgia I was always on the outside looking in and disrespected but in NYC it is a different story. I actually feel like I am a part of a social group around my age now and like I actually belong.
Anyways, long story but anyone ever gone through something like that?
My fear is I might have to move back to Atlanta for a little bit due to a family situation so helps to know what went wrong.
I currently live in the exurban nebula between Atlanta and Athens, having moved here from the Pittsburgh area right in the middle of high school. Making friends in high school was a futile endeavor because everybody else already had all the friends they needed. Some of the redneck kids gave me **** for being from the North, and some of the black kids gave me **** for being white. Most people just ignored me.
As for the University of Georgia, it definitely is cliquish, especially since Greek life dominates the campus. Many of the people in the extracurricular clubs tend to stick together, especially the religious clubs, and even moreso the people in each specific religious club who came from the same suburb of Atlanta. The lasting friendships I developed during my college years were a couple of awkward people themselves, one of whom never went to college, and the other who introduced me to other members of his family whom I also befriended, plus two of their future spouses.
Otherwise, trying to get to know anybody from the clubs and the group projects was a waste of time. I made a ****load of mediocre "friends" who were superficially nice, but seldom followed through with anything, and occasionally talked behind my back. I threw them all away near the end of my time in college, and then they wondered why I stopped coming around. These days, I'd rather be alone than deal with insincere people who can't follow through.
I guess this is all a roundabout way of saying that, no, it's not just you.
I currently live in the exurban nebula between Atlanta and Athens, having moved here from the Pittsburgh area right in the middle of high school. Making friends in high school was a futile endeavor because everybody else already had all the friends they needed. Some of the redneck kids gave me **** for being from the North, and some of the black kids gave me **** for being white. Most people just ignored me.
As for the University of Georgia, it definitely is cliquish, especially since Greek life dominates the campus. Many of the people in the extracurricular clubs tend to stick together, especially the religious clubs, and even moreso the people in each specific religious club who came from the same suburb of Atlanta. The lasting friendships I developed during my college years were a couple of awkward people themselves, one of whom never went to college, and the other who introduced me to other members of his family whom I also befriended, plus two of their future spouses.
Otherwise, trying to get to know anybody from the clubs and the group projects was a waste of time. I made a ****load of mediocre "friends" who were superficially nice, but seldom followed through with anything, and occasionally talked behind my back. I threw them all away near the end of my time in college, and then they wondered why I stopped coming around. These days, I'd rather be alone than deal with insincere people who can't follow through.
I guess this is all a roundabout way of saying that, no, it's not just you.
I thought so right...
The worst kinds of kids were the ones trying to put on a good moral act, that is what really caught me blind. Kids involved in student orientation, religious organizations, and other morally good groups were often the fakest and most two-faced kids out there. As much hate as Greek Life gets, you occasionally found friendly people in fraternities and at times even sororities but even that was rare.
Throughout my time at UGA I did feel like social life was a futile effort though and never got why. I mean I made some good friends but for the most part, it is like everyone was tightly knit into their social groups and any chance of talking to them led to hostility.
Kids from the Atlanta suburbs were extra feisty and closed off from outsiders as I found, it was like high school to the max.
I found the South to have generally more of a rigid cast system than my native Northeast or the Midwest, where i went to college.
It's easy to blame the south here but I disagree. I've met amazing people from other southern states and even other parts of Georgia. They had that human genuinely wanting to know you element to them but there was something off about certain parts of Atlanta that I cannot put my finger on.
Kids there just gave off the vibe of being more like what we would envision Californians to be like, the whole shallow and vain attitude towards anyone that isn't popular. I wonder if the rise of the film industry in Atlanta led to people in certain parts of the city being stuck up and full of themselves.
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