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Old 02-01-2012, 07:16 AM
 
1 posts, read 4,223 times
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This is still a valid question. I like Fort Lauderdale for its large gay population. However, FL itself has some work to do to become more accepting.
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Old 02-03-2012, 05:28 AM
 
11,449 posts, read 10,625,155 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by caphillsea77 View Post
I'm gay and I say anywhere I damn well please. If my company offered me the right salary to relocate to Omaha, OKC, Salt Lake City, Anchorage, Tucson, or Des Moines, I would certainly consider it given the right conditions. Many gays do indeed live comfortably in those cities. And many gays have experienced violent homphobia in Boston and New York. Cest la vie.

Honestly as a gay man, I would not be comfortable living in the Castro/SF, South End/Boston, Chelsea/NYC, or West Hollywood. I like living in the world instead. That's just the kinda guy I am, and I identify as Brian, not THE GAY MAN.
Amen!

As a gay man myself I have long lamented the fact that the gay population in general has lobbied so hard for individual rights and acceptance yet many still continue to flock to gay ghettos and isolate themselves from society at-large. In my opinion it's more difficult to become accepted if you're not living among those you're seeking acceptance from, and it sure makes it easier for stereotypes and homophobic attitudes to continue as a result.
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Old 02-03-2012, 10:15 AM
 
Location: Norcross, GA. (Metro Atlanta)
2,962 posts, read 3,117,197 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kyle19125 View Post
Amen!

As a gay man myself I have long lamented the fact that the gay population in general has lobbied so hard for individual rights and acceptance yet many still continue to flock to gay ghettos and isolate themselves from society at-large. In my opinion it's more difficult to become accepted if you're not living among those you're seeking acceptance from, and it sure makes it easier for stereotypes and homophobic attitudes to continue as a result.
This is a very good point. A guy earlier in this post said that he should live anywhere he pleases and I couldn't agree more with him! As a straight male, I fully support gay rights and believe that they should be able to live as freely as the next straight man.

Nothing wrong with having "gay ghettos" though. I love how you guys clean up the place! (this could be considered a stereotype, but it is a positive one that I've seen occur in many cities)
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Old 02-03-2012, 11:29 AM
 
Location: Norwalk, CT
5,341 posts, read 4,033,042 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kyle19125 View Post
Amen!

As a gay man myself I have long lamented the fact that the gay population in general has lobbied so hard for individual rights and acceptance yet many still continue to flock to gay ghettos and isolate themselves from society at-large. In my opinion it's more difficult to become accepted if you're not living among those you're seeking acceptance from, and it sure makes it easier for stereotypes and homophobic attitudes to continue as a result.
Totally true. There is whole world out there, whether your gay or straight. Personally, I can't stand living in urban gay centers, and I am gay myself. I'd rather live a suburban/rural lifestyle. Sure, maybe more people would frown upon it if they knew, but I am generally in the closet, except with some close friends and family, so I don't care.
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Old 02-03-2012, 12:29 PM
 
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I live just to the north of Chicago's main gay neighborhood. I honestly love having Boystown to my south. I have tons of straight friends, my neighbors are straight and I work in a job with straight people. It's not a big deal to any of them (as it obviously shouldn't be).

I have a lot of gay friends though, and it really does make it nicer having my friensd living in a centralized area where I can easily walk or train/bus to them. I like having the bars nearby, etc.

I think by far the #1 reason why people live in gay "ghettos" isn't about hiding there or living there because your life isn't accepted elsewhere, it's just based on numbers alone. Gay people make up only a fraction of society. If I lived in a town of 5,000 people or a conservative city with no real gay community, my prospects on finding someone to date and love would be much more confined. In a town of 5,000 people there might only be a few people that are out and open and single to choose from. This gets even worse because the fact there aren't many to begin with prompts many gay people to move to larger cities where they can more easily find and hang out with other gay people. The more people move to these larger cities, the more the circle feeds on itself of people leaving. Certainly not ALL by any means, there are probably hundreds of thousands of gay people living in small and rural environments because they love it.

Overall though, that's why these gay centers exist now. It's an easy way to find other people and develop a friend/relationship base. Then many people will move away from it once their basis is set while they're younger and they don't need it as much. That's why you'll see so many young people in the gay ghettos.

It's also easier for many gay people to live their lives in cities because they're much less likely to have children. As you move through your 20's and 30's and into your 40's, many people will have families and move to the suburbs. Gays don't have that urge to move because of children. Also having two adults in jobs with no children to raise is another reason gays in relationships tend to have much higher disposable incomes than families with children. If I look at my gay friends in relationships and my married friends, the gay friends are going on international trips multiple times a year, going to cities in the USA, having big parties, etc. It's easier to afford to live in the nice parts of the city without children to worry about.

I have multiple straight friends who lived near the gay areas of Chicago (they're some of the most popular areas for all people in the city - and gays were some of the first people that moved in to gentrify the area back in the 80's) and one by one them all cry and wail as they pick up and move to the burbs because of their kids. Then they come back to visit every once in awhile and go off the deep end partying and hanging out screaming about how much they miss Chicago and how jealous they are. Some of my girlfriends will even go "god, you have it so good being gay, why couldn't I have been gay. Men at your feet, living in the city, no worries, partying, etc.". I mean seriously....everyone is free to live your life as you please. It's not like anything is FORCED on them.

Although I have really noticed as I age that there's a HUGE amount of pressure on many people to get married and have kids. To that degree I understand that it can actually be very liberating and free to be a gay person in your 30's and 40's. You never have to stop or slow down. Life is one solid path and you get to steer it. Growing up I 100% would have been straight if ever given the decision. Once I hit my early 30's though, I'm astonishingly happy I'm gay and don't think I would change it.
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Old 02-03-2012, 12:32 PM
 
7,433 posts, read 4,823,350 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Chicago60614 View Post
I live just to the north of Chicago's main gay neighborhood. I honestly love having Boystown to my south. I have tons of straight friends, my neighbors are straight and I work in a job with straight people. It's not a big deal to any of them (as it obviously shouldn't be).

I have a lot of gay friends though, and it really does make it nicer having my friensd living in a centralized area where I can easily walk or train/bus to them. I like having the bars nearby, etc.

I think by far the #1 reason why people live in gay "ghettos" isn't about hiding there or living there because your life isn't accepted elsewhere, it's just based on numbers alone. Gay people make up only a fraction of society. If I lived in a town of 5,000 people or a conservative city with no real gay community, my prospects on finding someone to date and love would be much more confined. In a town of 5,000 people there might only be a few people that are out and open and single to choose from. This gets even worse because the fact there aren't many to begin with prompts many gay people to move to larger cities where they can more easily find and hang out with other gay people. The more people move to these larger cities, the more the circle feeds on itself of people leaving. Certainly not ALL by any means, there are probably hundreds of thousands of gay people living in small and rural environments because they love it.

Overall though, that's why these gay centers exist now. It's an easy way to find other people and develop a friend/relationship base. Then many people will move away from it once their basis is set while they're younger and they don't need it as much. That's why you'll see so many young people in the gay ghettos.

It's also easier for many gay people to live their lives in cities because they're much less likely to have children. As you move through your 20's and 30's and into your 40's, many people will have families and move to the suburbs. Gays don't have that urge to move because of children. Also having two adults in jobs with no children to raise is another reason gays in relationships tend to have much higher disposable incomes than families with children. If I look at my gay friends in relationships and my married friends, the gay friends are going on international trips multiple times a year, going to cities in the USA, having big parties, etc. It's easier to afford to live in the nice parts of the city without children to worry about.
Exactly
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Old 02-03-2012, 01:36 PM
 
Location: Massachusetts
4,209 posts, read 5,863,243 times
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Live where you damn well please. It can be a big city, a small town or just about anywhere. If the place meets your needs, and your able to support yourself there. Then live anywhere you want. You pay taxes to live in this country. Many times its more than our straight couterparts for less benefits. Most of us do not have children in school for one thing. So live where you want. A place that is affordable where your life will be the most productive and meaningful for you.
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Old 02-03-2012, 02:17 PM
 
8,867 posts, read 12,505,151 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kyle19125 View Post
Amen!

As a gay man myself I have long lamented the fact that the gay population in general has lobbied so hard for individual rights and acceptance yet many still continue to flock to gay ghettos and isolate themselves from society at-large. In my opinion it's more difficult to become accepted if you're not living among those you're seeking acceptance from, and it sure makes it easier for stereotypes and homophobic attitudes to continue as a result.
No one in 2012 is moving to the gay ghetto to isolate themselves. They're moving there for the exact opposite reason, so they don't feel isolated.

It's hard to find good dating material when none exists around you. It's easier when you're in a kick ass fun neighborhood (almost all gay ghettos I've seen are some of the best areas of the city) where you're surrounded by people who are open to gays or are gay themselves and available to date and share their love. You can live around all the peace loving and open minded straight people you want, but it's not going to help you with your love life or find a partner. That's where the gay ghetto comes in very helpful. Strength in numbers. There's a reason gay people in tiny towns don't stick around, and it's not just cause they feel judged or that people don't accept them.

One of the reasons I moved to Chicago was to be closer to an area that had what I'm looking for in life as a gay person. I certainly wasn't moving here to run away from anything or to isolate myself with a bunch of gay people. I'm not isolated at all.
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Old 02-03-2012, 06:14 PM
 
Location: Norwalk, CT
5,341 posts, read 4,033,042 times
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I'm gay and lived in both New York City and suburban CT and in the end I prefer to live in suburban CT. Strangely, I have been able to connect with many more gay men here than I did in NYC. I've met better quality men here too, and more attractive ones, believe it or not. As a gay man, I see no reason to move back to a gay mecca. It's pointless, unless you're into the scene (bars, clubs, parades, etc). None of that interests me, though. All I'm intersted in is building relationships and dating, and some occasional fun lol.
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Old 07-03-2012, 10:36 PM
 
7 posts, read 6,104 times
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Ghettos serve a purpose. It was a way to concentrate power. Look at NYC and SF in the 70's. Major power centers, and change originated there. These days are different, with everyone spreading out. I think it's hard to have an impact if you are 2 percent of a population. One big reason to move to a mecca. Another is just being safe and left alone. Sometimes, it is where the criminals go look for targets, but there is some safety in numbers. It makes life better to have social outlets, a network. I say ghettos are good. No one is a token in a ghetto.
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