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Moving can give one different opportunities to explore different parts of themselves, but at the end of the day,a new city does not and can not “change” you.
But it can change your outlook.
I moved and got stuck in a place I hated. I hated the politics, the racial tensions, the violent crime, but mostly the hot sticky weather that kept me trapped indoors for six months of the year. I was miserable and it showed.
Then I moved to a place more suited to my wants, and I'm so much happier and relaxed and I enjoy things more now, and that show too.
Quote:
Originally Posted by sad_hotline
Are people actually that different from region to region in the US?
Go to the current events forum and read the thread about a student being punished for calling a teacher ma'am. I think you'll see that there can be some pretty big cultural differences in various parts of the country.
Firstly I read "Did moving to states change your life" and I thought, hmm, that'd be interesting to read stories of people from Europe/Asia/Australia, but apparently I couldn't be more wrong
My move in 2012
I think the biggest and most life-changing move was when I went from my hometown of Tampa FL to the Quad Cities (IL/IA) back in 2012. Before that, I had never truly lived on my own - even though I went away to college in Atlanta from 2005-2010, it wasn't entirely on my own dime. I wasn't very confident in myself back then and didn't get out much, which unfortunately lead me into making not-so-smart dating decisions. During the second half of 2012, I had needed a new job ASAP. I was contacted by a recruiter for a contract job in East Moline, IL, then subsequently had a really good phone interview with the hiring manager and was offered the job. Completely sight unseen, I thought the situation was a little sketchy, so of course I did my research before accepting...everything checked out okay. So I accepted the offer, and a few weeks later I packed up everything that could fit into my car and made my way north.
It was a little unnerving, as I was leaving behind my girlfriend and everyone I knew to go to a place I had never been. After the first 6 months, I realized it was arguably the best thing that ever happened to me. The job itself was going really well and my confidence grew as I began to handle adulting like a champ. Plus I began to realize how toxic my girlfriend was at the time, which eventually led to me dumping her sorry ***. I fully discovered my love of road trips and travel, a key thing that's been with me ever since. I also made a lot of really awesome friends, one of which has become a best friend and we've traveled quite a bit together. Ultimately this place became the jump-off point for me really getting to know myself. Additionally, I realized how much I actually enjoy winter and can't stand Tampa's perpetual summers.
Move in 2014
Unfortunately, although things were great in the Quad Cities and I liked my job, there were layoffs looming on the horizon for us contract engineers. I landed a new position in the small town of Lawrenceburg, TN. I thought "well, the people here are really nice and Tennessee is a cool state...why not??". Yeah well....isolated small town TN is not so cool lol. I was bored with the place within the first few months, but I stuck around for 3 years for my career. The positive of it was that it was a cheap home base for me to GTFO of town on the weekends. I just couldn't relate to the locals - nothing personal against them, but the people in my age group in that town were all settled down with kids and were homebodies, whereas I like to get out and do stuff plus had no desire for a family life. The big positive is that I met some cool people on my weekend getaways, including really good friends in Charlotte and an amazing girlfriend from Knoxville. If I had stayed in the midwest, I might have never met them. My trips to East TN and West NC made my love of mountains grow, realizing even further how boring my hometown's scenery was.
Move in 2017
After the company I worked for in Lawerenceburg royally pissed me off during my 3rd year, I was ready to jump out of that sinking ship. I landed a job here in Greensboro, NC, and my girlfriend moved with me. We're really happy here, have plenty to see and do locally and throughout the state, and we love the general mindsets of the people we meet here. Do we plan on staying here permanently? Nope, we really don't want to stay in the same city/region forever. But we're enjoying this place for now .
Quote:
Originally Posted by sad_hotline
So I ask you, did moving change your life all that much? Was it worth it to you? Did your 'lifestyle' follow you, or did your location change who you are? Are people actually that different from region to region in the US?
TL;DR version: Absolutely yes to the first two questions, in the best ways possible. The only negative experience was the move in 2014 to rural TN mentioned above....not doing that crap again. To the 3rd question, my lifestyle from Tampa did not follow me. My confidence grew tremendously, I discovered my true love of travel, and I developed much more diverse hobbies. And yes to the 4th question; there are so many factors that change people regionally.
I see a lot of people on the forums who have decided that it is the place they currently live that is the problem when it sounds much more like the person and the situation that is the real problem and a change of scenery really isn't the answer.
Generally the problem with moving is that the older you get (and by that I mean beyond high school/college age) the harder it is to meet other people. The venues to meet people narrow down a bit. Frequently I see people on the forum who lived somewhere surrounded by family and life-long friends and when they move somewhere new and the excitement wears off, they find themselves on the lonely side.
So it takes a plan and it takes going out to meet new people, whether it is in a hobby, a church, a social group.
My family moved around a lot (I lived on both coasts) so it was something I already understood. As an adult I have lived primarily in one state where I wanted to stay put.
I could not agree more! I'm 53 years old and my fatherly instinct kicks in a lot on here, lol. I've seen just what you said. In my life AND on C-D, many, if not most, of those who aren't happy where they are geographically and seem so dissatisfied seems to have more to do with something that's missing in them, unrealistic expectations, or an unsettling season in life than the city they're in. It's really important for those who are so eager to move over and over to be totally honest with themselves about this sort of thing. It's an expensive and time consuming way to be chasing a carrot on a string, searching for a utopia that doesn't exist.
Little Rock to Charlotte NC - Excellent. I loved living in Charlotte and wish I would have never left.
Charlotte NC to Oklahoma City - One of the worst decisions I ever made. OKC isn't a good fit for me. I don't like the climate, the geography, or the culture.
This is a really interesting thread. I've lived in Charlotte NC, Orlando FL, Columbus OH, and Cape Cod MA. I like all of them in different ways and to different degrees. My home base has (and probably always will be) Charlotte. In all of my extensive travels and places I've lived, I love it the most. Charlotte has everything we could want in where we live. Plus, it's home!!! ORLANDO. Lived there temporarily for a year in the late 2000's. Really liked it a lot. 2nd only to Charlotte in terms of how much my family and I loved living there. LOTS of misconceptions of Orlando here on C-D. It's much more than Disney and Universal. North of the FL Turnpike, it's like any other nice metro area. Lots of nice neighborhoods, parks, greenways, lakes. Though we loved all of the theme parks, there's so, so much more to do than that........COLUMBUS. Lived there for about year as a kid in the early 1970's due to my dad's job. I really liked it. I remember it distinctly. I've visited quite a few times since becoming an adult over the decades. People are very friendly. A real underrated city and metro, IMO. Surprisingly cloudy in the Winter........CAPE COD. This is where my wife and I are at the moment. Have been here since July 2017 helping care for my mother-in-law who is battling Parkinson's Disease. We still have our home in metro Charlotte and I go down every 6 weeks or so to take care of things there. We will be here until things change. It's nice here. Pretty, love the history. Great non-chain eateries. We get to Boston as often as we want, being we're a tad over an hour away. It's been nice being here, but we wouldn't want to stay for good. VERY expensive and we miss our 4 young adult kids (22-27), granddaughter (2), other family, and other things as well........Every move we made had its place in the season of our lives that we were at at that time. So, in all, they were all good moves. BUT, knowing we still had our Carolina home was very comforting. Anyway, that's my story. Thanks for posting such a good thread!
I've moved multiple times and had different experiences.
There's been some positives/some negatives everywhere and I think that it is the same no matter where one lives. Just a matter of finding the place where the positives overwhelm the negatives.
Move from Upstate NY to Charleston, SC-Oh, no! WTF did I do? :: Ended up running back as fast as I could after a year. Hilarious thing about this is that about 20 years later, my younger brother did the same exact thing!
Move from Upstate NY to Louisiana-It was a job transfer/promotion. On the good side, we were amazed to see our houseplants turn into giant mutants when they were grown outside down there...
Move from Louisiana to Michigan-Much better. I really enjoyed Michigan, definitely one of my favorite places to live.
Move from MI to Kentucky-Job transfer. Not too bad I guess though I missed Michigan terribly.
Move from Kentucky to Tennessee-Job had went overseas and it was the recession so ended up taking a job in Tennessee. Couldn't stand it and immediately went to work on a targeted job search for Cleveland, Erie, or Detroit.
Move from Tennessee to Pennsylvania-I was excited and it really felt like coming home in a sense. It felt great being back up north again. Erie is pretty close to both DH's and my families.
I moved from Tennessee to Indiana in 2014. Major life changing move for the better. I went from a state with a crappy economy to one with a great economy. That job in Indiana opened up many more doors for when I moved back to Tennessee later.
Little Rock to Charlotte NC - Excellent. I loved living in Charlotte and wish I would have never left.
Charlotte NC to Oklahoma City - One of the worst decisions I ever made. OKC isn't a good fit for me. I don't like the climate, the geography, or the culture.
OKC isn't all that bad actually. But I'd say it's worse than my hometown Montgomery, AL. The people there didn't seem friendly towards an Asian guy like me. Don't get me wrong, though, I've met far more friendly ones just like down here in Texas. In fact, it felt like Texas not overrun by transplants. So it's a good thing. But the racism seem to be alive there especially out in the outskirts of OKC or in rural Eastern Oklahoma. The diversity is something Oklahoma is seriously lacking. But hey, it's just me.
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: Ended up running back as fast as I could after a year. Hilarious thing about this is that about 20 years later, my younger brother did the same exact thing!
