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Old 10-31-2018, 10:32 AM
 
Location: Clemson, SC by way of Tyler,TX
4,856 posts, read 2,984,533 times
Reputation: 3399

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Quote:
Originally Posted by KathrynAragon View Post
When I was in college I wanted to live an urban life, the life of a well heeled, well traveled sophisticated urban maverick - think Sex in the City sort of woman. I wanted to live in a loft, decorated in a minimalist style. I wanted to hail taxis or ride the subway rather than the hassle of owning a car. I didn't want a dog, or even kids for that matter. I wanted to hang out in fancy or even not so fancy bars and clubs, I wanted to look out from a tiny patio across the city lights with a martini in one hand and a cigarette in the other.

Now the very idea of that lifestyle makes me shake my head and wonder how I could be the same person who thought she wanted all that. Now I'm living a life that makes my twenty something year old son say "Sorry, Mom, but I don't want a life like yours - I mean, what do you do for fun, work in the yard? Walk the dogs? Paint siding? Go to church? What?"

What I do - and it's actually very satisfying - is first and foremost - live comfortably with plenty of expendable income and free time. I don't have to backpack across Europe - I can fly first class and stay in great hotels. I do like walking my dogs. I actually like working in the yard! (I pay someone else to paint siding, though, and to mow the lawn.) My husband and I love short little trips to wherever, spur of the moment, but we also love sitting out on the patio every evening (not one that overlooks city lights though - one that overlooks a backyard with plenty of trees and windchimes and gardens and bird and squirrel feeders), and we love going to concerts to see bands who all look really, really old to us now but they still sound good! We love trying new recipes together. We love throwing parties for grandkids. We love laying on the living room floor with our dogs. We love sleeping late and drinking a pot of coffee in the morning.

What I'm saying is that to everything there is a season and what we want at one point in our lives we may not want at all down the road. There was a time when I would have loved renting a 400 square foot loft smack dab in the middle of some huge city - but now I want a spacious home with a big yard and with two guest rooms.

I don't think people who want to live in an urban setting with a high COL are stupid. I just think they want different things at this particular stage of their lives than I want, and that's fine.

Did you ever smoke or drink?

Yeah I think life priorities change. I grew up in small/medium town Texas for most of my life and I reached an age where it was "hey if you're gonna do this, it's now or never." So I found a job in DC and it was wonderful. Got a better job in Denver, and it's been wonderful. Greenville, was probably not the best idea for us, but guess what, we can move.

I wanted that lifestyle where I lived close to downtown in a walkable area, shopping and bars near by. Came close in DC, but settled on an outer burb as the price difference just didn't make sense. That's why I brought up Columbus, as I think that city has that, at a reasonable price. And I'd do it, even with a family.

But, I"m flexible and versatile. A suburb close to a major city absolutely works for me.
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Old 10-31-2018, 10:39 AM
 
Location: Mars City
5,091 posts, read 2,143,556 times
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Cost of living is easier to swallow if you make good pay, especially in comparison to others where you live. I know that's stating the obvious, but sometimes we're not paying attention to that distinction.
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Old 10-31-2018, 10:46 AM
 
Location: Youngstown, Oh.
4,896 posts, read 7,657,858 times
Reputation: 4508
Quote:
Originally Posted by MB1562 View Post
That is true, it is subjective, and that was kind of my point. It entirely depends on the kind of life you want to live. I wouldn't be happy living outside the few areas I mentioned above, but that doesn't mean they're bad places. My point was that it wouldn't be worth (for me) giving up the lifestyle that can only be had in a few places just for a bigger house and a car, etc. I'm perfectly okay with paying more for a bedroom with a roommate in a "okay" neighborhood here in the city than my parents pay in their mortgage for a nice house. It all depends on what you want.
Not to beat a dead horse, but you don't have to give up that lifestyle, when moving to some lower COL cities, and I cited Cleveland as an example.


IMO, Cleveland (I only keep mentioning Cleveland because I'm fairly familiar with it) has these:
Quote:
Interesting diversity, urbanity, good public transit, cosmopolitan culture, huge amounts of choice in food, high wages, progressive politics, etc, etc, etc...

But, again, the terms are subjective. For example, visit the urban planning forum some time; for some people, anything outside of Manhattan is not urban.
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Old 10-31-2018, 11:57 AM
 
Location: Clemson, SC by way of Tyler,TX
4,856 posts, read 2,984,533 times
Reputation: 3399
Quote:
Originally Posted by JR_C View Post
Not to beat a dead horse, but you don't have to give up that lifestyle, when moving to some lower COL cities, and I cited Cleveland as an example.


IMO, Cleveland (I only keep mentioning Cleveland because I'm fairly familiar with it) has these:



But, again, the terms are subjective. For example, visit the urban planning forum some time; for some people, anything outside of Manhattan is not urban.
It's ego, some won't move to Jersey City because it's not in Manhattan. And JC has a better view.
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Old 10-31-2018, 12:04 PM
 
Location: New York, NY
1,179 posts, read 659,607 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JR_C View Post
Not to beat a dead horse, but you don't have to give up that lifestyle, when moving to some lower COL cities, and I cited Cleveland as an example.


IMO, Cleveland (I only keep mentioning Cleveland because I'm fairly familiar with it) has these:



But, again, the terms are subjective. For example, visit the urban planning forum some time; for some people, anything outside of Manhattan is not urban.
Cleveland does not offer the same lifestyle as a New York, Philly, Chicago, or LA. It just isn't on the same level. A urban-lite version? Maybe, but it's still a vastly different and (to me) vastly inferior experience. It's just a preference I have. Again, doesn't mean Cleveland or other smaller cities are bad, but just not what I'm looking for in life. The only places you really get that experience is BosWash, Miami, Chicago, LA, and San Francisco. Arguably a few others, but that's about it.
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Old 10-31-2018, 12:11 PM
 
Location: Clemson, SC by way of Tyler,TX
4,856 posts, read 2,984,533 times
Reputation: 3399
Quote:
Originally Posted by MB1562 View Post
Cleveland does not offer the same lifestyle as a New York, Philly, Chicago, or LA. It just isn't on the same level. A urban-lite version? Maybe, but it's still a vastly different and (to me) vastly inferior experience. It's just a preference I have. Again, doesn't mean Cleveland or other smaller cities are bad, but just not what I'm looking for in life. The only places you really get that experience is BosWash, Miami, Chicago, LA, and San Francisco. Arguably a few others, but that's about it.
I think Seattle is appealing to the urbanites and hipsters as well. Maybe Portland?
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Old 10-31-2018, 12:33 PM
 
Location: New York, NY
1,179 posts, read 659,607 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Gaylord_Focker View Post
I think Seattle is appealing to the urbanites and hipsters as well. Maybe Portland?
Neither are to me, but I understand why they would to others.

Last edited by JMT; 10-31-2018 at 06:15 PM..
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Old 10-31-2018, 02:10 PM
 
Location: Baltimore - Richmond
501 posts, read 331,165 times
Reputation: 808
Quote:
Originally Posted by Duderino View Post
You're oversimplifying this quite a bit, here. Firstly, not all "low cost of living" cities are the same and it is very possible for many folks to obtain what they're really looking for in a smaller metro area without being forced to put up with increasingly exorbitant housing costs and soul-crushing traffic congestion.

I think we can all reasonably agree that moving from Washington, DC to, say, Richmond, Virginia is not the same as moving to a "third world country." For many people, the Richmonds of the world are a perfectly satisfying urban alternative without the obscene costs involved. And for the certain things that Richmond may be lacking compared to a large metro area, it's a perfectly satisfying arrangement to make a periodic roadtrip to the "big city" to take part in such activities/amenities.

You're certainly entitled to personally disagree, but for most people, cost-of-living will always be top of mind.
Native of DC living in Richmond here. Nail on the head. I haven't once felt like I was missing anything living here. It may have something to do with me being raised in an urban 'BosWash' city. Richmond is more urban in built form than most larger cities in the country. It offers plenty to do in the way of outdoor recreation, restaurants, bars etc and has a strong economy and job scene. If I want to take a trip to DC, I'm walking distance from the Amtrak station where I can get on, eat and get off at Union Station. Plus its just nice to be able to walk into a restaurant and be seated within seconds without reservation or waiting outside for 40 min. I think there is a level of infatuation with the idea of living in a major city when you aren't from one. I think the poster above did an excellent job describing this idea with the sex in the city reference. People view large cities as this sort of friends episode on repeat. But that isn't the reality of the average person living in these towns. On the flip side, there are also people who are from big cities who aren't open to even trying out a smaller city because all they know is the big city. They may have visited smaller cities before but don't take into account that visiting a smaller city, or any city for that matter, is not the same as living there. When visiting a city for leisure you most likely wont have to deal with rush hour commute or other things that go into living in a city day to day so you don't get the feel of what makes that city special. I've lived in big cities from DC to Philly to Baltimore etc and Richmond is near the top of my list. Also, I think people look at wages in a weird way. They look at wage stats and assume that no one in these 'low wage' towns makes any money. It's weird. There are people working at Walmart in DC and there are doctors in Missippi. If you are a hard worker and are good at what you do you can make good money anywhere. I suppose those people are afraid of losing their job and not being able to find another? Sounds like poor interview skills to me. I'm also a Millennial and my salary is higher than my brother's is in DC, just to shake up the stereotypes.

Edit: I think we have to stop viewing the entire 'Bos-Wash' corridor as high wage, high cost of living, because it's not. Philadelphia, for example, is an affordable city in the 'Bos-Wash' corridor. It's really just metro New York, metro Boston and metro DC that are high cost of living areas.

Last edited by mpier015; 10-31-2018 at 02:24 PM..
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Old 10-31-2018, 02:19 PM
 
1,704 posts, read 1,366,118 times
Reputation: 1748
Quote:
Originally Posted by Duderino View Post
You're oversimplifying this quite a bit, here. Firstly, not all "low cost of living" cities are the same and it is very possible for many folks to obtain what they're really looking for in a smaller metro area without being forced to put up with increasingly exorbitant housing costs and soul-crushing traffic congestion.

I think we can all reasonably agree that moving from Washington, DC to, say, Richmond, Virginia is not the same as moving to a "third world country." For many people, the Richmonds of the world are a perfectly satisfying urban alternative without the obscene costs involved. And for the certain things that Richmond may be lacking compared to a large metro area, it's a perfectly satisfying arrangement to make a periodic roadtrip to the "big city" to take part in such activities/amenities.

You're certainly entitled to personally disagree, but for most people, cost-of-living will always be top of mind.
I grew up in NoVa, went to Richmond for college, lived in Richmond briefly after graduating before moving back to the DC area. Richmond is a nice place and it's sort of your typical small-to-mid-size metro area but for me, I found it to be very different from DC. Some people on here get upset at that, I'm not saying Richmond resembles some town in Alabama but it is very different from NoVa imo but not in a bad way.

It just really comes down to what a person wants, what they like, their job, etc.
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Old 10-31-2018, 02:25 PM
 
Location: Lakewood OH
21,699 posts, read 23,664,674 times
Reputation: 35449
Quote:
Originally Posted by KathrynAragon View Post
Depending on what people prefer in the way of a lifestyle, sometimes they can have both.
Yes, that would explain my situation perfectly.
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