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Old 11-11-2018, 02:15 PM
 
1,826 posts, read 1,248,326 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mhays25 View Post
It's a "way to have a conversation"? That's a southern thing...it would be considered rude in the Northwest and it's generally not done. For example I don't have the slightest idea whether my closest coworkers are religious. The question would be viewed as prying, with the potential (perceived at least) to influence their opinion of you.

As for whether I'm aware that there's complexity, you're making some big assumptions off a pretty simple post...ironic eh?
So you acknowledge its a Southern thing, so what's your point? Either way, asking what church someone goes to in the South is not considered rude by most and is understood in the South to not mean we expect or want that person to be religious.
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Old 11-11-2018, 02:15 PM
 
Location: Arvada, CO
13,237 posts, read 24,403,441 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by harrishawke View Post
Wanted to get feedback on cost of living, economic opportunity and quality of life from now to the next decade.
I have lived in the Pacific Northwest, and know the entirety of it very well. I visited the Southeast for the first time this past May (only KY and TN though).

The South pretty handily wins the cost of living aspect. There are pockets of cheapness in the Pacific Northwest, but they also come with less economic opportunity....if any.

Quality of life is subjective, but I would say living a normal American suburban life is much more easily obtained and sustained in the South. Attempting to do so anywhere near Seattle is done at a person's own folly; even though the availability of good/well-paying jobs is only exceeded by a few places, what one gets in return for it does not justify (IMO) what it takes to get it. Yeah, it's pretty, but so what?

Seattle jumped the shark in sometime in the last 15 years IMO, so unless you come with:
-a good salary in hand
-a thorough knowledge of what you're getting yourself into cost, traffic, and weather-wise
-or an ability to accept that you're okay with being (or living like you're) poor

I strongly recommend crossing it off your list. I singled out Seattle because it is 65% of what people think the Pacific Northwest is, when that's pretty far from the truth.

IMO Portland doesn't justify its cost either, but it's still boatloads better than Seattle in that regard. Their traffic sucks too.

There are tons of other places to live in the Northwest that are overlooked by the vast majority of the population (even within the NW) for one reason or another. These places are hidden gems IMO, but are not without their problems. Living in these places is a lot hardier (or even isolated) than people expect; so expecting to obtain a typical working professional/suburban type lifestyle isn't as easy/expected/common as you'd might think.

tl;dr: the south wins unless you really want to bust your butt, or are okay with not amounting to as much. Or if you just hate humidity.
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Old 11-11-2018, 02:35 PM
 
Location: Lakewood OH
21,699 posts, read 23,648,620 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Parhe View Post
Being asked what church you go to isn't the same as expecting you to be religious. Same as how being asked what college you go to or what you study is not the same as expecting you to go to college.
I agree. After living in the Midwest for nearly half my life and then in the PNW for the next nearly forty I am now in the Great Lakes Region for four years. When someone here in the Cleveland area first asked me what church I attended I was surprised. No one had asked me that in years. Then I remembered, no one asked me that in the PNW, but on this side of the Cascades it's quite common. It's not a religious thing, it's a social thing. People often go to one another's churches for free lunches and dinners for one thing and no one has to be alone on holidays because whatever denomination, there's a church you can go for a dinner and companionship. No services need be attended. Sure they would like you to join but no one asks you to.

And they do help people out who are in need.

The PNW doesn't typically have that type of community where people feel comfortable about being so open. There's a lot of lip service and cumbaya singing but when it comes to helping a neighbor it doesn't happen on a large scale community level.

Back in my region, asking what church you belong to is kind of like asking what your neighborhood is like, where did you grow up, go to school, who do you know we might know? Now with Society being so mobile that's going to be changing. Pretty soon, though, asking where do you go to church will be a thing of the past. With people moving from place to place, there won't be as many roots to define the people and the neighborhoods.

Any one who takes offense at being asked this question doesn't understand the question.
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Old 11-11-2018, 03:43 PM
 
4,477 posts, read 2,659,202 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Parhe View Post
So you acknowledge its a Southern thing, so what's your point? Either way, asking what church someone goes to in the South is not considered rude by most and is understood in the South to not mean we expect or want that person to be religious.
Sooo...should we refer to the topic of this thread? That should clear things up...the regions are clearly different and I've identified a pretty key way they are, in a way that's important to me.

Minivan, Parhe seems to be acknowledging that religion comes up in casual conversation in the south. Are you going to argue with him about that?
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Old 11-11-2018, 03:46 PM
 
Location: Greenville SC 'Waterfall City'
7,580 posts, read 3,992,169 times
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I've been living in SC most of my 40 years and I have rarely had people bring up religion or invite me to their church. I know a lot of people who grew up in SC who rarely or never go to the church. There is no pressure to go to church here.

I don't know how anybody would know if you went to church or not anyway unless you tell them.

I would think the church invitations are generally for people who recently moved to an area and do not know anybody. One of the easiest ways to meet people quickly is to attend a church.
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Old 11-11-2018, 04:00 PM
 
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So we get to have the religion discussion the first time we meet...great!?
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Old 11-11-2018, 04:07 PM
 
Location: Greenville SC 'Waterfall City'
7,580 posts, read 3,992,169 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mhays25 View Post
So we get to have the religion discussion the first time we meet...great!?
So it makes you angry if somebody invites you to their church?

I'm not saying that anybody would invite you to their church. My point is the church invitations are probably extended more to people who are new to the area and don't know anybody. That doesn't mean every newcomer will get church invitations.

I'm still trying to figure how who is expecting me to go to church simply because I live in the south, as you framed it. What are they going to do about it if they find out I haven't been to church in a long time.
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Old 11-11-2018, 04:11 PM
 
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Angry, no. But it's a prying question, and here in the Northwest it generally won't be asked. And we don't have to have that potentially-awkward discussion.

The fact that some people don't get this illustrates my point perfectly.
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Old 11-11-2018, 04:12 PM
 
Location: Greenville SC 'Waterfall City'
7,580 posts, read 3,992,169 times
Reputation: 2906
I don't think an invitation to go to church is prying.

That's like saying somebody inviting you to a party on Friday night is prying.

You haven't explained how somebody inviting you to church 'awkward' or a 'religious discussion'.
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Old 11-11-2018, 04:42 PM
 
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I'm pretty sure that most people will get it, and that you'll just keep saying the same thing.
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