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^ Thank you. You guys are giving great advice, and exactly what I wanted to hear. I can't help but feel guilty when I have so much pressure from my parents who I have always gotten along with and we have a great relationship.
That is a ridiculous statement from your mom. She is being very immature and selfish. She sees your little boy plenty now that what she said makes absolutely no sense. I think you should trust your own good judgement and do what is best for you and your family. Your obligations now are to your wife and son; mama is no longer #1 and she needs to realize that. Heaven forbid she should cause friction between you and your family. When you married, you left your mom and dad and took a wife. She is now #1.
Julian, I'd stay in St.Louis. The following points have been made, but I feel like they should be summed up and then I'll add one more.
You are building the foundation of your career and it should be strong. Jumping from place to place and job to job doesn't look good. Even if you have a very good reason, 90% of the time you won't get a chance to tell the story.
The job you have now has better benefits. Companies are cutting benefits to try to save as much of their money as they can. You need to start off with the best benefit package you can get in the hopes that it still good after they are done. Your wife and son depend on it.
The job you have is also an open ended position. THey are paying you well, so they must see something in you that they like. You will learn just as much, if not more, than you will at the VA. The VA job is an internsip that will end in two years. The VA may get completely restructured by the next administration and who knows what will happen.
It seems a long way off, but your son is going to start school in about 4 years. You guys will need to make friends so that he can learn from your example. He will become much more rounded socially if you stay in the city. (Again with the foundations ;-) )
What does your wife say? Her vote has to carry more weight than your mother's. If you allow your mother to use your son to manipulate you, it will drive a wedge between you and your wife. That wedge will forever weaken (you guessed it) the foundation of your marriage. Your parents and her parents should be offering their advice but they should be advising you to do what is best for the three of you, not what will make them happy at your expense.
I wish you luck in dealing with this difficult decision. I've been on both sides (the person with the controlling parent and the spouse of a controlled child.) and neither is comfortable.
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