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View Poll Results: Where do I go?
Stay there! You are happy there, there is more to do, and you are only an hour and a half from your family! 14 82.35%
Go home! Your family is miserable without you. If you don't like it there, suck it up! 0 0%
Check out the job for the training, and make a decision based on the job 2 11.76%
Don't even look at the job, you don't want to move back, so forget it! 1 5.88%
Voters: 17. You may not vote on this poll

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Old 04-09-2008, 02:29 PM
 
51 posts, read 55,832 times
Reputation: 13

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* I am 23. My wife is 21. Our son is 10 months old.
* I accepted a position in St. Louis, Missouri only 7 months ago.
* I like my job; and for my experience level, it is very good pay
* A job is coming open soon back in the rural area with the US Dept. of Veterans Affairs (read: VA hospital). It is a 2 year "internship" (paid at about 45-50k per year, I currently make around 42k). There may or may not be a job waiting for me at the end of it, if I could even get it (i interned there for free before, so I do have a leg up). So, I could be making $52k in 2 years, lose my job, and be forced to take a job back in the rural area working at some school on computers for $35k (less than I'm making 11 months out of college, right now). Or, I will have to move back.
* I am getting a lot of people telling me "Stay there! There's nothing going on here. I wish I had the guts to leave like you did!"
* I am having a couple of family members saying that its good training so I should at least look in to it. My mom says she is afraid that her grandson will grow up without knowing her (they see him just about every weekend or every other weekend, including staying the night, and when we go home (1.5 hours home) or when they come here to visit). I'm afraid she is just trying to guilt me in to something I don't want to do.

So, for the sake of my family (mostly my parents, who I never expected would give this much pressure to come home after only 7 months), do I move back and be miserable? Or do I stay where my wife and I love so my son can grow up and be at their grandparents more frequently?

Please help, this has been a roller coaster ride for me. Being very close with my family, it has been hard to bicker back and forth with my mom about this.
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Old 04-09-2008, 02:41 PM
 
Location: ITP
2,133 posts, read 5,953,016 times
Reputation: 1373
If the internship will really give you a leg up on your resume and open more doors in the future than if you hadn't done it, then grin and bear it for 2 years. But if you're worried about the pay, then stay in your current job and wait it out. You can eventually make $50K within the next 3 years. Also, it makes no sense moving to a place where you would be miserable unless the financial benefit is huge.
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Old 04-09-2008, 03:58 PM
 
51 posts, read 55,832 times
Reputation: 13
^ Thanks s-t-w. That's how I feel too. It doesn't make a ton of sense, especially after I found out I'd probably only start at a few thousand more per year, but benefits would cost me $200 more per month!
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Old 04-09-2008, 04:01 PM
 
Location: The Rock!
2,370 posts, read 7,362,963 times
Reputation: 838
I would say stay because leaving after only 7 months will look bad on your resume and it will take about 10 years of sticking it out in one place to make up for that.
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Old 04-09-2008, 05:49 PM
 
Location: Southeast Missouri
5,812 posts, read 17,786,824 times
Reputation: 3372
It sounds like a big risk for a little more money. I understand wanting the training, but you're also risking your job. If you like where you live now, I'd suggest staying there.

And I live in a rural area. And they're right, when you're 21-23, there's nothing to do, unless you like to sit around and talk or watch TV.

My sis lives about an hour-and-a-half away from us. It's tough, but it's livable. And if you absolutely need to be with your family, the trip isn't really that long.

If you don't mind me asking, what is your job?
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Old 04-09-2008, 08:36 PM
 
51 posts, read 55,832 times
Reputation: 13
I work in IT in St. Louis. I live in the Illinois suburbs. Thanks for the advice guys, you are all making the decision that I have wanted to make for months!
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Old 04-09-2008, 08:41 PM
 
1,517 posts, read 6,406,322 times
Reputation: 521
Also, once you 'go back' you won't likely ever leave again, even if a better opportunity finds you. Your mom needs to somehow understand that she's still lucky...she doesn't have to get on a plane to visit her grandchild and you could essentially see your parents every weekend if you wanted. Establish yourself where you are; get more comfortable with your nuclear family unit. If you're this torn now, things will only get worse once you move back. Sounds like you have a pretty good set up anyway. Good luck!
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Old 04-09-2008, 08:51 PM
 
Location: Denver, CO
5,610 posts, read 22,079,136 times
Reputation: 5414
Without knowing anything about you other than what you've said on this forum, I would suggest stay right where you are in St Louis at your current job, unless if you are absolutely thrilled with the prospect of living in a rural area so much that you're going crazy. Especially considering that you're only 11 months out of graduation and 7 months at the job, I would stay and continue to build up your skills and credentials. I believe in the long run being located in a major metropolitan area such as Saint Louis (which isn't the most booming city out there, but there are still plenty of jobs and opportunities) will be better career wise than living in a small town. Don't move just because you *might* be making a couple thousand bucks more-- if you are able to climb up to ladder over the next few years at your current employer you should be able to increase your salary over time. Also, the fact that you have an 10 month old son, I think it's better to stay where your family is-- having that support structure near by. I am a big proponent of settling down in a place and establishing roots, becoming a part of the community; if you keep moving around from place to place, it's hard to do that.
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Old 04-09-2008, 10:50 PM
 
51 posts, read 55,832 times
Reputation: 13
^ I think you missed a couple of things...My family is in the rural area, that's where I'm from...but I hate it there!
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Old 04-09-2008, 10:58 PM
 
Location: Denver, CO
5,610 posts, read 22,079,136 times
Reputation: 5414
Quote:
Originally Posted by Julian B View Post
^ I think you missed a couple of things...My family is in the rural area, that's where I'm from...but I hate it there!
Oh... ok, sorry. I still think you should stay in St Louis, since it sounds like you're pretty happy there as it is. As they say, if it ain't broke, don't fix it. Being 1.5 hours from your family is nothing-- that's an easy drive to make on the weekend. When you're living in the city full time, taking trips out to the country on the weekends can be a lot of fun; no need to be "stuck" somewhere you hate. You only have one life to live-- do what feels right, not what you feel you're "supposed" to do, or what your family wants you to do. YOU have to be the one to take charge!
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