U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > U.S. Forums > General U.S.
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 09-23-2019, 09:22 PM
 
Location: New Jersey
1,041 posts, read 465,769 times
Reputation: 477

Advertisements

Quote:
Originally Posted by popwar View Post
I'm about to turn 31. Still living with my dad. Ive lived out of state for short times, and came back. I'm still trying to find a good job in my field that I love going to everyday and where I am financially stable long term. Its hard for him to let me leave because he still sees me as his little boy and doesn't want to let go.
Yes, it can be hard to find the perfect job, but you loved your parents to death and the way he loves you means it's hard for you to just leave. Even ACoNs (abbreviation for "a child of narcissists") like me live at home for long, because they feel "afraid" to let go of their parents. My parents would not want me living with them forever, but they wouldn't mind me living there past 23 to save money. My brother is 25 and lives at home, because his major took 6 years to complete since it was a Doctorate. With me, my degree will be a 4 year degree and people in my family may or may not look down upon me if I live at home at 25.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 09-24-2019, 09:36 AM
 
9,879 posts, read 13,741,741 times
Reputation: 6025
Quote:
Originally Posted by potanta View Post
Yes, it can be hard to find the perfect job, but you loved your parents to death and the way he loves you means it's hard for you to just leave. Even ACoNs (abbreviation for "a child of narcissists") like me live at home for long, because they feel "afraid" to let go of their parents. My parents would not want me living with them forever, but they wouldn't mind me living there past 23 to save money. My brother is 25 and lives at home, because his major took 6 years to complete since it was a Doctorate. With me, my degree will be a 4 year degree and people in my family may or may not look down upon me if I live at home at 25.
Who cares what others think?


If you are living @ home to save money to move out, why would anyone look down on that? If you were being a absolute mooch, then yeah, but if you work and pay your bills ... no.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-24-2019, 10:53 AM
 
Location: Kansas City North
124 posts, read 60,625 times
Reputation: 225
Love has nothing to do with it for the most part.

I'm 22 and I still live with my parents. I'm in pharmacy school and it's expensive so that's a nice perk and the commute is good. It's also the Asian culture especially Vietnamese. Parents are more clingy and helicopter and don't want their children to move out assuming they are old fashioned. Love is a bigger part but more on the love from the PARENTS less so the children. I have no reason to move out unless I wanted the "independent living experience" but it's not worth it to me, may be worth it to others. More people I would wage that move out do it in cheaper cities like here in Kansas City because you can work a blue-collar job and be able to afford your rent which is not the case in coastal cities for the most part without barely squeezing by.

I've found in American culture, the parents want their children out as soon as possible OR make them pay rent at a certain age. But to stay on topic, there are a lot of factors that keep children with their parents and love is a minor one if we're talking about the child's love for their parents.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-25-2019, 09:04 AM
 
Location: San Diego, CA
1,345 posts, read 581,411 times
Reputation: 2021
Do you any of you that live(d) at home pay rent? I moved back in with my mom after moving back home after college and I was charged rent. While she didnít gouge me, it wasnít a token amount either. It was close enough to what I could get a studio for so it only lasted a few months.

My Dad charged my sister rent when she stayed with him for a year of grad school, as did my father in law with my wife after college before moving out here for grad school.

I have no doubt in my mind that either of my parents, or my wifeís, wouldíve taken us all in rent free if the situation called for it, but I truly believe they set us up better as functioning adults by not letting us live at home rent free as adults. That last statement in no way shape or form means those that do donít become well adjusted functioning adults, but we all know those who canít let go, parents and children.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-25-2019, 09:15 AM
Status: "Hard work is never easy" (set 20 days ago)
 
Location: Florida/Tennessee
3,313 posts, read 4,500,365 times
Reputation: 1902
Only independent people can choose dependency.

In rural areas where I live it's pretty common for the kids to live on family property. If they work nearby or they're involved in the family business, they stay. All four of my kids left home after their (3) college education or (1) military service. 1 lives nearby, 1 lives a 100 miles away, the other 2 are out of state.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-25-2019, 12:20 PM
 
Location: New Jersey
1,041 posts, read 465,769 times
Reputation: 477
Quote:
Originally Posted by VietInKC View Post
Love has nothing to do with it for the most part.

I'm 22 and I still live with my parents. I'm in pharmacy school and it's expensive so that's a nice perk and the commute is good. It's also the Asian culture especially Vietnamese. Parents are more clingy and helicopter and don't want their children to move out assuming they are old fashioned. Love is a bigger part but more on the love from the PARENTS less so the children. I have no reason to move out unless I wanted the "independent living experience" but it's not worth it to me, may be worth it to others. More people I would wage that move out do it in cheaper cities like here in Kansas City because you can work a blue-collar job and be able to afford your rent which is not the case in coastal cities for the most part without barely squeezing by.

I've found in American culture, the parents want their children out as soon as possible OR make them pay rent at a certain age. But to stay on topic, there are a lot of factors that keep children with their parents and love is a minor one if we're talking about the child's love for their parents.
With strict Asian parents if they are, I'd recommend moving out. Don't suffer yourself. I'd get some crappy apartment and call it a place of my own rather than dealing with horrible personalities at home. My parents are not the type to want me out, but I need to get out, because I hated living with them. If my parents were different people, I could have stayed home and mooched off them a little longer, but I also never liked my state, so I have desire to move.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-25-2019, 12:23 PM
 
Location: New Jersey
1,041 posts, read 465,769 times
Reputation: 477
Quote:
Originally Posted by TacoSoup View Post
Do you any of you that live(d) at home pay rent? I moved back in with my mom after moving back home after college and I was charged rent. While she didnít gouge me, it wasnít a token amount either. It was close enough to what I could get a studio for so it only lasted a few months.

My Dad charged my sister rent when she stayed with him for a year of grad school, as did my father in law with my wife after college before moving out here for grad school.

I have no doubt in my mind that either of my parents, or my wifeís, wouldíve taken us all in rent free if the situation called for it, but I truly believe they set us up better as functioning adults by not letting us live at home rent free as adults. That last statement in no way shape or form means those that do donít become well adjusted functioning adults, but we all know those who canít let go, parents and children.
No my parents are not the traditional American parents who charged their kids rent as adults.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-25-2019, 12:25 PM
 
Location: New Jersey
1,041 posts, read 465,769 times
Reputation: 477
Quote:
Originally Posted by VietInKC View Post
Love has nothing to do with it for the most part.

I'm 22 and I still live with my parents. I'm in pharmacy school and it's expensive so that's a nice perk and the commute is good. It's also the Asian culture especially Vietnamese. Parents are more clingy and helicopter and don't want their children to move out assuming they are old fashioned. Love is a bigger part but more on the love from the PARENTS less so the children. I have no reason to move out unless I wanted the "independent living experience" but it's not worth it to me, may be worth it to others. More people I would wage that move out do it in cheaper cities like here in Kansas City because you can work a blue-collar job and be able to afford your rent which is not the case in coastal cities for the most part without barely squeezing by.

I've found in American culture, the parents want their children out as soon as possible OR make them pay rent at a certain age. But to stay on topic, there are a lot of factors that keep children with their parents and love is a minor one if we're talking about the child's love for their parents.
PS Pharmacy is a dying field and it's not worth the 6 years. My brother graduated at 24 and is going to move out at 26 and he never liked our parents. That's why I picked a 4 year degree so I can find a way out asap.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-25-2019, 12:37 PM
 
Location: Kansas City North
124 posts, read 60,625 times
Reputation: 225
Quote:
Originally Posted by TacoSoup View Post
Do you any of you that live(d) at home pay rent? I moved back in with my mom after moving back home after college and I was charged rent. While she didnít gouge me, it wasnít a token amount either. It was close enough to what I could get a studio for so it only lasted a few months.

My Dad charged my sister rent when she stayed with him for a year of grad school, as did my father in law with my wife after college before moving out here for grad school.

I have no doubt in my mind that either of my parents, or my wifeís, wouldíve taken us all in rent free if the situation called for it, but I truly believe they set us up better as functioning adults by not letting us live at home rent free as adults. That last statement in no way shape or form means those that do donít become well adjusted functioning adults, but we all know those who canít let go, parents and children.
Well I know for a fact my parents would not charge me rent ever no matter how long. They are Asian, but they aren't as strict as some Asian parents that you may know because the culture generally WANTS the children to stay at home. Having them pay rent would be a deterrent. American culture promotes independence so having the child pay rent is a way to promote that independence and maturity. In my thinking, only have the child pay rent if they are in the work force but not in college.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-25-2019, 12:48 PM
 
Location: Kansas City North
124 posts, read 60,625 times
Reputation: 225
Quote:
Originally Posted by potanta View Post
PS Pharmacy is a dying field and it's not worth the 6 years. My brother graduated at 24 and is going to move out at 26 and he never liked our parents. That's why I picked a 4 year degree so I can find a way out asap.
I know Pharmacy is experiencing hard times and saturation but pretty much all fields I would think are experiencing these hard times as well bar computer sciences, biotech, technology, engineering, what have you. I don't mind my parents so I'm in a different situation.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply

Quick Reply
Message:


Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > U.S. Forums > General U.S.
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

© 2005-2019, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top