U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > U.S. Forums > General U.S.
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
 
Old 06-13-2008, 01:24 AM
 
Location: SF Bay Area
14,330 posts, read 19,549,496 times
Reputation: 18436

Advertisements

Father's Day is this Sunday. It is a great day for each to honor their fathers or their memory. I am a father and fortunate to have a wife and kids who make a special effort to make that day special for me. This is a tribute however to my father who is 82 and has taken a turn, possibly the home stretch towards his mortality. I don't know how many years he has left, so I make each day special.

The evening before a was to start kindergarten in 1965, in a small Illinois town near Chicago, my father took me to the elementary school that I would be attending. The parking lot was empty of course and so was the playground. Autumn was in the air and sun was not long in disappearing. We walked to the window of the classroom and he lifted me up so I could get a clear view. I saw desks, tables, and plenty of toys, and stuff on the walls that peaked my interest. "What was this place?", I thought. "Why am I going to be here?" He told me that this was the beginning of a "long journey." "A very important journey", he reiterated. Although 5, I realized the importance of the moment and felt deeply that this was a very special occasion. He drove me back home but I never forgot what he said, and he was indeed correct. It was the beginning of my respect for school and the beginning of my journey.

19 years later, there we sat together in a Milwaukee airport. The airport was not crowded. I was to take a commuter plane to Chicago, where I would catch a flight to Pittsburgh. I was leaving home to take my first job after college. I didn't want to leave, but I could not find a job locally, and this was an opportunity of a lifetime. We sat there quietly, reflecting on the sad moment. I was leaving home. When the boarding announcement came, we both stood up, and I grabbed my violin, and we walked towards the plane. My dad and I hugged, and he told me to "be yourself and remember that there is noone like you." He had a devastatingly sad look, one that I had only seen when his father died 7 years prior. Not one to cry, his eyes seemed watery from a distance as I waved goodbye to him. I was choked up. As I boarded the plane, I thought back to that moment 19 years previously when he told me about the journey. I was devastated to leave and headed to the back of the plane. As I looked out of the window, I could see my dad looking at the plane. He could no longer hold back the tears, and I lost it. I have never cried harder. It was the first and only time in my life that I would address God. I said that "you must have something good in store for me if you have to take me away from people who love me so much."

That was 24 years ago. I never did make it back. We talk nearly every day, and I see him not as frequently as I should each year. As my father's short term memory fades and he enters into a phase that he would refuse to say he fears, I cherish each moment that he still exists on this earth. He has been the greatest father to me, and I am who I am because of him.

May you all have fathers as great as mine.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 06-13-2008, 08:41 PM
Status: "Summer!" (set 22 days ago)
 
Location: Foot of the Rockies
87,014 posts, read 102,634,943 times
Reputation: 33082
May my dear father rest in peace.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 06-13-2008, 09:17 PM
 
Location: Fort Worth, Texas
10,736 posts, read 31,798,444 times
Reputation: 6788
My Father passed away in 1999. I wish he was here for me to wish him a Happy Fathers day.

This is a very hard time of the year for my daughter also, her Father choose to not be part of her life. So we are both a little sad this weekend.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 06-14-2008, 12:02 AM
 
Location: SF Bay Area
14,330 posts, read 19,549,496 times
Reputation: 18436
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lindsey_Mcfarren View Post
My Father passed away in 1999. I wish he was here for me to wish him a Happy Fathers day.

This is a very hard time of the year for my daughter also, her Father choose to not be part of her life. So we are both a little sad this weekend.
Sorry to hear. I'm not going to pretend like I can relate to such a loss, but in thinking about my dad's mortality, I do have somewhat of a feel for what you have to live with. My mom once told me that when a parent dies, you never are the same. Life goes on and you learn to live with the absence. I'm not looking forward to it and I wish you the best on that day.

That's a shame about your daughter's father not being a part of her life. Quite a pathetic man who can shun his own kids. That takes a special kind of calloused heart, one that I don't understand. My kids make me look at myself to confront my own flaws for the good of the marriage and for their well-being.

Best to you and your daughter on that day.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 06-14-2008, 12:06 AM
 
Location: SF Bay Area
14,330 posts, read 19,549,496 times
Reputation: 18436
Quote:
Originally Posted by Katiana View Post
May my dear father rest in peace.
Sorry to hear, Katiana.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 06-14-2008, 12:10 AM
 
Location: Zurich, Switzerland/ Piedmont, CA
32,377 posts, read 55,190,768 times
Reputation: 15454
Beautiful post Alexus.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 06-14-2008, 12:25 AM
 
Location: Zurich, Switzerland/ Piedmont, CA
32,377 posts, read 55,190,768 times
Reputation: 15454
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lindsey_Mcfarren View Post
This is a very hard time of the year for my daughter also, her Father choose to not be part of her life. So we are both a little sad this weekend.
Im so sorry.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 06-14-2008, 07:57 AM
Status: "Summer!" (set 22 days ago)
 
Location: Foot of the Rockies
87,014 posts, read 102,634,943 times
Reputation: 33082
Quote:
Originally Posted by Alexus View Post
Sorry to hear, Katiana.
Thanks. I miss him, but he is in a better place.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lindsey_Mcfarren View Post
My Father passed away in 1999. I wish he was here for me to wish him a Happy Fathers day.

This is a very hard time of the year for my daughter also, her Father choose to not be part of her life. So we are both a little sad this weekend.
I'm sorry for your loss, Lindsey, and your daighter's.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 06-14-2008, 09:52 AM
 
Location: St Simons Island, GA
23,112 posts, read 35,061,639 times
Reputation: 15300
Here's how it will go down at Dad's house tomorrow. I and my siblings will arrive bearing cards and presents (normally golf shirts and accessories), then we'll eat something, and then Dad will excuse himself for a nap.
Oh, well, at 78 I guess he's earned the right.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > U.S. Forums > General U.S.
Similar Threads
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2019, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top