Would you move for your family's sake? (fit in, homes)

[tangodoodles]

That title was kind of vague because I wanted it to fit in the subject line. What I mean is, would you move somewhere completely new and different from where you live now if the new place had better schools, more affordable housing, and a similar salary (adjusted by area for cost of living) even if you were different from everyone else? I'll give an example. Say you have lived in San Francisco for years and you are liberal and Jewish with children. You are offered a job in Nashville with the same salary (adjusted for cost of living) but you aren't enamored by the feel of the city in that it is pretty conservative and religious (this is just a generalization for the sake of the example). How would you feel about moving somewhere completely foreign, where a majority of the people don't hold the same political or religious beliefs, but where the schools are better and the housing is more affordable? Would you do it for the sake of your children? Or would you find a way to make it work in San Francisco (or New York, Boston, L.A., etc.)? Again, this is sort of vague but I kind of want to know how people would feel and what you would do in this situation.

[DannyBanany]

Maybe if I had kids and a wife to look out for but if I was single I'd live where I feel most comfortable. I think the reason families do move is for their kids' sake. Whether it be to a better area or a higher paying job it's the kids that they do it for. A single guy doesn't have to worry about that.

[radraja]

I would try to find a compromise - good schools and cheap housing are important, but so is fitting in and being happy.

I would never move to someplace I didn't like just for the schools.

There are thousands of towns and cities to choose from - why settle for someplace that doesn't offer the best of both worlds (benefits for the family AND personal comfort)?

[radraja]

Also - good luck with your problem. Gut feeling is a good indicator of whether you'll like a city or not.

If Nashville really is in the picture for you...I wouldn't say that it's completely conservative. It's not the Bay Area, but you should still be able to find like-minded people. If that helps the decision any (like I said though, gut feeling is probably your best bet).

[18Montclair]

Yes.

I moved back to The Bay Area cause my parents needed help. However, I was single and didnt have to uproot a family, just myself. Everyone has their own set of circumstances to consider.

In my case, It was the right thing to do.

[Ben Around]

I always get tripped up by the "good schools" question. Lots of people (especially realtors and chamber of commerce types) like to determine which schools are "best" by their SAT/ACT scores, or percent of students who graduate, or percent of students who go on the college, etc. I reject that thinking: all those are are measures of socio-economic status, which has nothing to do my kid. I am just interested in what school is right for MY kid. I don't care if most of the other kids come from high income homes or are on the free lunch program, I want a school where my kid can learn best.

Are Nashville schools really "better" than SF schools? Who sez, and what's their criteria? If I lived in a city that refused to adequately fund its schools and I felt my kid wouldn't learn there, I'd send her to a private or parochial school if I liked everything else about the community. No, we are not rich, its just that education is one of our family's top priorities. I'd live in smaller home or forgo new cars or shorten my commute, or scale back on our vacations to pay for it.

[JMT]

Having experienced that for myself, my answer is an unqualified YES.

First of all, there's no such thing as a true Stepford town where everyone looks, worships and behaves exactly the same way. In particular, you can always find people similar to you in large cities no matter where in the country you are. There are some very conservative Christian families in San Francisco or Boston just as there are some very liberal Jewish families in Nashville or Salt Lake City. You might have to look a little harder, but they're there.

Besides, exposing your children to different points of view can actually be very healthy for them and might even strengthen their own religious or political convictions.

[MJinAustin]

Originally Posted by Ben Around

Are Nashville schools really "better" than SF schools? Who sez, and what's their criteria? If I lived in a city that refused to adequately fund its schools and I felt my kid wouldn't learn there, I'd send her to a private or parochial school if I liked everything else about the community.

I might be wrong, but I think OP was using Nashville/SF as a hypothetical.

[tangodoodles]

Originally Posted by MJinAustin

I might be wrong, but I think OP was using Nashville/SF as a hypothetical.

You're right. It could be Atlanta to Chicago, San Diego to Charlotte, Seattle to Albuquerque. I just like hearing what people think they would do about the situation.

[bostoner]

Originally Posted by MJinAustin

I might be wrong, but I think OP was using Nashville/SF as a hypothetical.

Pretty sure Ben Around was using Nashville/SF as a hypothetical, too.