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Moving: Portland, Annapolis homes for sale, moving companies, nationwide movers, jobs market.

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Old 06-19-2008, 09:32 AM
45 posts, read 180,091 times
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Hello, a little background:

I am from NJ originally. I moved to Oregon in 1990 and spent 2 years in Eugene and 7 in Portland. I moved back to the East Coast in 1999 to be close to family due to their illness. I moved to the Philadelphia suburbs and hated it. Met my now-husband, who is from Delaware. My parents died, we got married and moved to Delaware, and had a child. My husband's family is all here and he has good friends in Annapolis.

We no longer want to live in Delaware, but we can't agree on where to go. I desperately want to move back to Portland but moving costs will be high and the job economy is tough. We'll be looking for work, so that is an issue. My husband wants me to consider Annapolis as a "temporary" move, a jumping off point - but that sounds ridiculous to me. I know by now how easy it is to get tied to a place. Don't think we'd ever wind up moving to Portland. He prefers the idea of Annapolis because it is closer to his family - for our son to see his grandparents, big issue - all his friends are there, and it's got better employment prospects. I of course have no friends there, all mine are in Portland. Family is definitely important, but at the end of the day I'm not willing to shape our future based on where our family is. I believe Portland will be a better place for our son to grow up - cleaner air and water, healthier and fitter attitudes, more friendly and open-minded population.

Does anyone have any comments or suggestions about this issue? I have to admit that I'm looking for argument fodder, some sort of REALLY good reason to justify moving to Portland, but I am willing to listen to all input.

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Old 06-19-2008, 11:07 AM
Location: Orange, California
1,573 posts, read 5,661,733 times
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I certainly would not want to get in the middle of your domestic "argument." It sounds like you want to move to Portland and your husband does not, but he is suggesting Annapolis as a compromise. Are you willing to compromise too, or is it Portland or nothing?

Also consider, you seem to be unhappy in Delaware and think you would be unhappy in Annapolis...would your husband be equally unhappy in Portland? If you want to try convincing him, you will need to plan a vacation with him out there and try to make sure he has a great time (i.e., would consider moving there).
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Old 06-19-2008, 11:29 AM
Location: Sacramento, CA
1,196 posts, read 4,347,394 times
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I can understand, Portland is an awesome city. Like said above, I think the best thing would be to convince your husband, take a vacation out there. Have you been to Annapolis?
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Old 06-19-2008, 12:02 PM
45 posts, read 180,091 times
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Thanks for the reply!

I suppose I can't get around the fact that I'm not really willing to compromise on this. I hate admitting that, but there it is. Were it not for him, his family, and now my son, I would have moved back long ago, so I sort of feel already like I *have* compromised for the last 9 years.

We vacationed in Portland years back and he had a good time, nothing earth-shattering for him though. And at this point he seems to be willing to take the plunge - not to get into details but we were recently burgled and it was sort of a "I've had it with this place!" moment for him - but the labor and expenses of a move 3,000 miles away is definitely worth pause for him and I understand that.

Yes, I am reluctant to consider Annapolis as a place to live. I'd welcome any kind of Devil's Advocate to my prejudices, but I think he's being overly optimistic about the place. Sure, downtown Annapolis is a nice place. Odds are though that we won't be living downtown but in the 'burbs due to prohibitive costs. And even the outlying areas are generally more expensive. The time I've spent in Annapolis has been spent doing much the same thing as other areas of the Mid-East Coast that I've been to/lived in - going to places in Stripmallopolis and commuting on highways. And neither of us are boat people, so in my mind there's not much appeal to a Bay community other than visually. Whereas I spent a fair amount of time in Portland enjoying hikes or taking in the sights at easily accessible areas of the city. Last but not least, I am NOT a fan of summer humidity or snow/cold winters. That's a big factor for me in wanting to leave the East Coast - I hate the humidity and snow. Portland tends to have a milder climate.

I've done a bit of research into costs and no matter which way I slice it, I can't get the projected expenses down past 6K for a Portland move. Whether we rent a truck, or ship our belongings, or chuck everything and start fresh, each option has costs that will go up in one area if you cut in another. Whereas moving to Annapolis would be about 2,500 cheaper approx.

I guess that's about all to add, really...other than I appreciate your comment on domestic "arguments"
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Old 06-19-2008, 12:32 PM
Location: Phoenix metro
20,005 posts, read 69,517,006 times
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Originally Posted by Missmeamea View Post
I am NOT a fan of summer humidity or snow/cold winters. That's a big factor for me in wanting to leave the East Coast - I hate the humidity and snow. Portland tends to have a milder climate
What would your child want? Im sure most children would want to have fun with all 4 seasons, would you agree? Portland is mild, but very gloomy and very wet, which isnt exactly what I call cheeful, outdoor weather if you know what I mean. Almost 3 years ago my FIL offered us a chance to buy his condo in Scottsdale, AZ (dream come true for my wife) for a nice price if we wanted it. We discussed it for awhile and were'nt quite sure if we wanted to take it or not. While discussing it in the car one afternoon, our son overheard us and said "noooooo, I dont want to move there because it doesnt snow and I cant play with dad in the snow anymore". Broke my heart. It was kinda an eye opener once he said that considering that we never even considered his little opinion until then. We love it here, too, and ended up staying. Funny thing is, one of our biggest deciding factors was "what would the kids want"?
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Old 06-19-2008, 12:53 PM
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Steve-o: Interesting and thoughtful addition! Yes, I agree that what the kids want is important...especially if I'm trying to move to a location based on what kind of environment I think will be best for him to grow up in. I guess we don't really know yet what our son wants - he's 2 (3 soon). Funny, he does like to look at the snow, but I can tell you that when I took him outside in it this last year, he was generally happier to return inside! Of course, he was in a monstrous snowsuit and hated the gloves and hat I made him wear...but for all I know he could grow up to be a champion skiier or something! He requested that I lug his basketball hoop inside the house, though.

One thing to add, is that Portland does indeed have 4 seasons. It's got fall colors, some snow (and much more snow in Eastern Oregon)...just not much...a beautiful spring and a sunny summer. Granted it does have a general gray-ness through much of the winter that gets irritating and although the average rainfall is actually the same (or less) than other areas, it's spread out over months and months of persistent drizzle. I think that's why Portlandlers tend towards peacock-bright colors for clothes and houses...something to combat the dreariness! But again, it's NOT year-round. Say, November through end of April. Throw a few icestorms and a few inches of snow in (that everybody freaks out about, which I find amusing after shoveling 18 inches), and I'd say that's just about right.
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Old 06-19-2008, 01:38 PM
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The thing about weather is that younger kids will typically adjust to whatever environment they're put in and will grow to love it. I don't think it's worth it to put yourself through misery because you think your kid has a preference (when, really, at that age, kids only think about the "here and now"...it's not like he'd be mourning over the weather he had elsewhere).

That said...I think the biggest factor you have to consider is the job situation. Annapolis is more of a town than a city. It may have job prospects in your husbands field, but if you decide that you want a job, your options may be limited. Whereas, Portland will have significantly more opportunities as a whole, it may not have many in his field.

This is really something you should be discussing with your husband, though. We don't know your personal situation.
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Old 06-19-2008, 09:57 PM
Location: Dallas, Texas
485 posts, read 1,774,541 times
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Should maybe consider that Portland doesn't have a great job market right now. Depends on whether or not your husband can get a job, yes?

I think kids adapt no matter where you are. My dad was military...I went to three elementary schools, three junior high schools, and one high school in five states. I learned to enjoy the different places we lived and take advantage of what we had there. It was an adventure.

I'm in a similar position to you..."stuck" here in Austin where my hubby wants to be, but I've been here 10 years (WAY longer than anywhere else in my life) and I am SO ready for a move. Portland is on my list. The one thing we have going for us is that we did Portland vacation a few years ago and hubby LOVED it there.

Good luck. Sounds like you are going to have to just put your foot down if it's that important to you...and then make sure that one of you can get a job in Oregon.
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Old 06-19-2008, 10:10 PM
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Why move to a place that as you said does not have a great job market?

As far as your freinds go, are any of them moving out to where you are at just to be next to you? Probably not.

As far as Portland goes, your kid will have plenty of time to explore the world, don't base things off of what you perceive the kid will like, when the kid grows up, he will have all the freedom he wants to move around.
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Old 06-19-2008, 11:19 PM
Location: Lakeland, Florida
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I guess the only way to settle it is this way. There are 3 people involved and one is a kid. The two adults have to both make a living and support the child in the best possible manner, that usually means sacrifices. To me the child comes first, and that means employment. I live here in Portland but I, like you and your husband am from the east coast. I don't have to work full time to live but if I did I would have left here. This to me is the worst excuse for employment in a big city that I have ever seen, even when the economy is strong. This is Environmental country and that means little industry and that translates into limited jobs. There are way to many college grads working at the many Starbucks here. To me that is a big red warning flag. I think you were probaby aware of the limited jobs here when you lived here, this is not a great place for employment except for a very few select fields. What is more sad than that, the general population seems content with that. If they are not then those are the Oregonians you will see in other parts of the country that left here. So when a child is involved ,making a living and providing for the family comes first. If your employment for both of you is here then fine go for it. If it is back East then obviousy that is the choice to make at this point in your lives. I can also understand your husband wanting your son to have grandparents close enough to visit, but I understand your view also of not baseing your life on where his family is. So as I said I would go where the best job possibilities were so you and your husband can provide a decent quality of life for all of you.
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