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Thread summary:

Regional driving rules, never use blinkers, learn to swerve abruptly, offensive driving, use car horn frequently, never pass on left pass on right

 
Old 09-29-2008, 04:15 PM
 
Location: Scarsdale, NY
2,787 posts, read 11,470,843 times
Reputation: 802

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Rules for driving in the Northeast...

When in doubt, accelerate.

Never, ever, stop for a pedestrian unless he flings himself under the wheels of your car.

Honk your horn the instant the light changes.

Whenever possible, stop in the middle of a crosswalk to ensure inconveniencing as many pedestrians as possible. And if a pedestrian ahead of you steps into the road, speed up, honk or yell loudly and chase him back up on the curb. Pedestrians have no rights.

Learn to swerve abruptly. The Northeast is the home of slalom driving, thanks to the Registry of Motor Vehicles, which puts potholes in key locations to test drivers' reflexes and keep them on their toes.

Never pass on the left when you can pass on the right.

In making a left turn from the right lane, employ the element of surprise. That is, do it as suddenly as possible, so as to stun other drivers.

Never use directional signals. They are a sign of weakness.

The faster you drive through a red light, the smaller the chance you have of getting hit.

These weather conditions are God's way of ensuring a natural selection process for body shops, junkyards, and new vehicle sales.

Speed limits are arbitrary figures posted only to make you feel guilty.

Never drive behind a person whose head doesn't reach the top of the steering wheel.

The most frequently used part of your car is the horn.
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Old 09-30-2008, 12:09 AM
 
Location: Richmond, VA
38 posts, read 154,940 times
Reputation: 29
Stop and wave a pedestrian across if they are crossing the road

Pedestrian waves back

merge only when you are certain the person behind you is letting you in

never honk

always use signal


Though these are changing because of all the yankees moving south
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Old 09-30-2008, 12:21 AM
 
8,256 posts, read 17,253,464 times
Reputation: 6220
In the CA dialect of English, STOP means ROLL.

Only change lanes if it will box the other person in.

Everyone in all 6 lanes yields for me because I'm hot so I don't need to signal or check if it's safe.

Making sure all 17 children have a spot on the couch in the backseat of your car is more important than anything.

Blast Spanish music as loud as you can just to make sure people know you're illegal.

The green light means it's time to put more makeup on.

I guess in Mexico left is right and right is left because if someone has a left blinker on, they usually turn right from the left lane.

I hate the environment so my car isn't going to get smog checked.

I'm gangsta cus I gots me some ghetto ass spare tires fo all fo o mines tires.

I'm old so I'm going to have a contest to see who can get to Hometown Buffet the slowest.

I'm fat and obese so can't walk so that makes me handicap.

I thought those lines in the road were to line your car up right in the middle of them.
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Old 09-30-2008, 01:03 AM
 
2,247 posts, read 7,002,020 times
Reputation: 2158
Quote:
Originally Posted by FutureCop View Post
Rules for driving in the Northeast...

When in doubt, accelerate.

Never, ever, stop for a pedestrian unless he flings himself under the wheels of your car.

Honk your horn the instant the light changes.

Whenever possible, stop in the middle of a crosswalk to ensure inconveniencing as many pedestrians as possible. And if a pedestrian ahead of you steps into the road, speed up, honk or yell loudly and chase him back up on the curb. Pedestrians have no rights.

Learn to swerve abruptly. The Northeast is the home of slalom driving, thanks to the Registry of Motor Vehicles, which puts potholes in key locations to test drivers' reflexes and keep them on their toes.

Never pass on the left when you can pass on the right.

In making a left turn from the right lane, employ the element of surprise. That is, do it as suddenly as possible, so as to stun other drivers.

Never use directional signals. They are a sign of weakness.

The faster you drive through a red light, the smaller the chance you have of getting hit.

These weather conditions are God's way of ensuring a natural selection process for body shops, junkyards, and new vehicle sales.

Speed limits are arbitrary figures posted only to make you feel guilty.

Never drive behind a person whose head doesn't reach the top of the steering wheel.

The most frequently used part of your car is the horn.
Note to self: never get into a car with ^^this guy^^ behind the wheel.
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