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Old 11-12-2008, 05:21 PM
 
1,604 posts, read 3,505,628 times
Reputation: 1526

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I've been seriously reflecting on my recent moods and have came to a realization that I'm just not currently happy being in the place I'm in right now. I'll admit that it's sort-of my fault for not being as "resilient" as humans are "supposed to be, but when a person has almost no social support system to turn to (family doesn't want to hear about the problems or writes it off, "acquintinces" mock over the issues I'm dealing with, and friends are 300 miles away and are dealing with stuff of their own), it becomes staggering. I've tried counseling, therapy, prayer, and other sorts of ways to deal with the issue, but in my heart, I know it has to do with the place where I live. I can't say it's completely my fault, for I was happier in certain places, particularly places that:

-didn't have an excessive amount of people who were rude, arrogant, materialistic, anal w/o provoking
-had a medium/slow-paced flow to it and wasn't "rush for me but the world stood still for my wants otherwise" mentality still for me" mentality
-lacked materialism and shallow measures of judging the worth of an individual
-wasn't infested w/ young people who were spoiled trust-find heirs kids flashed their wealth around and made it their defining characteristic
-had comfortable and indiscriminately affable race relations for all humans and plenty of integration (regardless of the area's diversity or lack of)
-had stable weather (i.e., no excessive humidity in the summer then suddenly bitterly-cold but snow-less autumns and winters followed by constant thunderstorms in the spring)
-let individuals live their lives and do whatever they wanted to do as long as it didn't interfere w/ the lives of others
-didn't make you look weird or made you a social outcast because you wanted to be around genuine people who weren't a**holes, saw humility and kindness as a humanly factor and not a weakness, didn't talk spite about you behind your back, and lacked a god-like ego about themselves

all of these elements are opposite to how it is for where I am right now.

I know people brag about "it's not the area, but you" or "it's what you make of it," but I've honestly found those statements to be oblivious at the least and denying the faults of a place at worst. I realize that there is no perfect place for me or anyone, but if being in an area for a long time can make one so miserable, I'm sure that there are places in this country (and particularly its inhabitants) that can do the opposite. I just want to find out some of these places that would do so for me. Although I prefer a place w/ a sizable amount of young college grads for social reasons, suggestions of any cities or towns would be appreciated.
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Old 11-14-2008, 12:02 AM
 
Location: SF Bay Area
14,330 posts, read 19,561,944 times
Reputation: 18436
Quote:
Originally Posted by The_Fairfaxian View Post
I've been seriously reflecting on my recent moods and have came to a realization that I'm just not currently happy being in the place I'm in right now. I'll admit that it's sort-of my fault for not being as "resilient" as humans are "supposed to be, but when a person has almost no social support system to turn to (family doesn't want to hear about the problems or writes it off, "acquintinces" mock over the issues I'm dealing with, and friends are 300 miles away and are dealing with stuff of their own), it becomes staggering. I've tried counseling, therapy, prayer, and other sorts of ways to deal with the issue, but in my heart, I know it has to do with the place where I live. I can't say it's completely my fault, for I was happier in certain places, particularly places that:

-didn't have an excessive amount of people who were rude, arrogant, materialistic, anal w/o provoking
-had a medium/slow-paced flow to it and wasn't "rush for me but the world stood still for my wants otherwise" mentality still for me" mentality
-lacked materialism and shallow measures of judging the worth of an individual
-wasn't infested w/ young people who were spoiled trust-find heirs kids flashed their wealth around and made it their defining characteristic
-had comfortable and indiscriminately affable race relations for all humans and plenty of integration (regardless of the area's diversity or lack of)
-had stable weather (i.e., no excessive humidity in the summer then suddenly bitterly-cold but snow-less autumns and winters followed by constant thunderstorms in the spring)
-let individuals live their lives and do whatever they wanted to do as long as it didn't interfere w/ the lives of others
-didn't make you look weird or made you a social outcast because you wanted to be around genuine people who weren't a**holes, saw humility and kindness as a humanly factor and not a weakness, didn't talk spite about you behind your back, and lacked a god-like ego about themselves

all of these elements are opposite to how it is for where I am right now.

I know people brag about "it's not the area, but you" or "it's what you make of it," but I've honestly found those statements to be oblivious at the least and denying the faults of a place at worst. I realize that there is no perfect place for me or anyone, but if being in an area for a long time can make one so miserable, I'm sure that there are places in this country (and particularly its inhabitants) that can do the opposite. I just want to find out some of these places that would do so for me. Although I prefer a place w/ a sizable amount of young college grads for social reasons, suggestions of any cities or towns would be appreciated.
Which places were you happier in and why don't you consider moving back to one of these places? Why didn't therapy and counseling work?
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Old 11-14-2008, 12:40 AM
 
Location: Twin Cities, Minnesota
3,940 posts, read 13,348,530 times
Reputation: 2213
Come out West. It's better here!
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Old 11-15-2008, 02:59 PM
 
784 posts, read 2,051,693 times
Reputation: 559
"I know people brag about "it's not the area, but you" or "it's what you make of it," but I've honestly found those statements to be oblivious at the least and denying the faults of a place at worst. I realize that there is no perfect place for me or anyone,"

I agree with you. I think people sometimes say these things when they dont know what to say. It sounds to me like you are pretty intuned with yourself. It appears you know exactly what it is you like and dislike, which if you ask me is far more than what so many can say. There could be other factors involved I dont know your situation. It could be a lot of situational things that are getting you down..ex, place, friends, materialism of self,etc. It could also be depression, anxiety, possible drug abuse. Assuming you dont have any of the above formentioned, I would go back to my first claim and that you know what you want, and your dilemma liew with not having it. Understand this---sometimes the grass is greener. I might add, figure it out what you think would make you happy and pursue it regardless of what anyone says to you. Only you can truly know whats best for you. What about the place that once made you happier? If that is out of the question, what are things about it that attracted you and can you find those same qualities somewhere else. I am afraid to say however, that no matter where you go there will always be some who place money, material things and power above whats really important like personality, self worth, human kindness, empathy for others, and as such. You seem to have this understanding, however, many do not. It takes some a lifetime to understand these traits. And some never do. Look for places with what your looking for and make the attempt at moving there. However, once there dont expect perfection from the locals. Because people will only let you down. Every place perfect in ideal or not will have flaws. Your feeling the way you do is normal, many feel this way about certain cities and they move thus they are enabled to lead happier and more productive lives. I wish you luck in your decision and dont second guess yourself. You know in your heart what matters, so go get it.
P.S. I find in life when I am feeling real sad or uncontent in life, it helps to help others, it takes you out of yourself.
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Old 11-16-2008, 03:32 PM
 
1,604 posts, read 3,505,628 times
Reputation: 1526
Quote:
Originally Posted by Alexus View Post
Which places were you happier in and why don't you consider moving back to one of these places? Why didn't therapy and counseling work?
The reason for me not being able to immediately go to where I want is a combination of finishing school and current finances. As for the job market, that's also another issue, considering how it's been said that many companies hire from their state schools and don't consider too much for out-of-staters. As for those techniques, I found that they only have a band-aid effect, treating the symptoms of my issues but not curing the problem entirely. I'd just came to the conclusion that a new region (and a new mentality from its inhabitants) would allow me to be more comfortable and not having to worry as much about excessive arrogance, backstabbing, cliquishness, herd-minded, bitter, and vapid personalities.
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